Physical escalation may be the single most important component of picking up and seducing women. What I mean by physical escalation is the ability to take your physical relationship and make it more and more intimate. For instance, to meet a woman and quickly become comfortable touching and holding one another, and then from there kissing one another, and eventually to having sex with one another. This whole process is referred to as physical escalation and it’s important that you master it.
Physical escalation is often referred to as taking place as a ladder. The idea is that there are benchmarks that you can reach and you can’t or shouldn’t go on to the next one until you’ve attained the previous one.
For instance:
- Touching arm/shoulder
- Arm around the waist or back/hugging
- Holding/Dancing
- Stroking hair, hand on her ass, sexual touching
- Kissing
- Groping and sensual touching
- Touching and groping her breasts
- Touching her vagina and fingering her
- Oral sex and/or sex
The idea is that before you should be able to achieve a mutual state of each step before you move onto the next one. So for instance, before you start kissing her, you should be able to hold her or dance with her first. Before dancing with her, she should be comfortable with you putting your arm around her.
This ladder isn’t gospel and doesn’t necessarily have to be followed perfectly. But it’s a good outline and tool for you to use to understand where you are in the interaction and how to move things forward. Ideally, the better you are at escalating, the quicker you move between each of these steps.
As far as HOW to move on to the next step? Again, it merely comes down to doing it and being aggressive about it. I almost always touch an attractive girl on the arm or shoulder within seconds of meeting her (exception is during the day). From there, I’ll usually use an opportunity to hold her or put my arm around her within a minute or two. From there, I get openly intimate with her within another 5 or 10 minutes and keep going. You basically go until she makes you stop.
I’ve kissed and made out with girls within one minute of talking to them. I’ve slept with a couple girls within 30 minutes of meeting them.
It’s possible, you just have to keep pushing the envelope. Stay aggressive and go for it.
If you’d like help progressing through this ladder, my online G3 Program provides specific exercises and missions that will help you practice your ability to sexually escalate and get more physical with women. It starts with some basic challenges and then incrementally builds upon them so you can improve steadily.
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Mark; for you how important is kissing when physically escalating with women? I’ve done crazy things with women in a short period of time: grabing her ass, fondling her tits, EVEN touching her vagina but usually when I do this women hold on kissing. It seems that for women kissing has a lot of meaning, a lot more powerful emotional conecction. And AFTER kissing sex can happens. Wouls you agree with this observation?
How does building comfort fits in the physical escalation model? Is it neccesary at all?
@Leo – building comfort is essential. Otherwise that is called sexual assault.
Leo- ask yourself. If some guy much bigger and stronger than you (just like a woman would perceive you) came and shoved his hands up your shirt or down your pants, how would you react?
I am willing to bet you’d be pretty freaked out. And that’s how I understand women feel if some guy tries to get intimate with them before they’re comfortable.
“Comfort” isn’t just some tactical box you need to tick in order to get to fourth base; it’s another way of saying Consent. If she is uncomfortable with you touching her, she’ not willing to be intimate with you. If you carry on regardless, that equates to sexual harassment. Take it further and it’s Rape.
Some women get comfortable getting intimate a lot quicker than others. Others don’t. I know this from experience. But take Mark’s advise: “You basically go until she makes you stop.”
If she’s not comfortable, you stop.
Otherwise you become that ‘creepy guy’ that girls don’t want to get near. (My sister tells me these things from her experience).