I’ve seen a few threads around boards in the last couple days about guys getting burnt out of this whole learn to pick up women thing. Usually they’re guys who have been in this for about six months, got some basic results, but still aren’t anywhere near where they want to be and they’re frustrated. They start hating going out because all it leads to is more disappointment, and once they hate going out, their results plummet back to nothing.
The best response I saw was a friend of mine who said this (my paraphrase):
You’re like one of those people who wants to get in great shape but hates exercising. The people who get in great shape aren’t the one’s who want a six pack more, they’re the people who love to exercise. You need to learn to love sarging. You want the great results with women, but you don’t actually enjoy the process. Ask yourself, what will it take for you to have fun?
I chimed in with the following:
In my mind a lot of this comes down to learning to love women in general. Guys who get miserable are guys who are usually out for themselves, because they have a chip on their shoulder, because they have big egos, because they’re desperate and needy.
Learn to love women. Learn to love the games they play, the stupid shit they do, their flakiness, their drama, their overt emotions. Sure, in the moment when she rejects you, it sucks, but learn to love their emotional energy. I’ll have a girl reject me, then I’ll plow and make out with her, then she’ll reject me again for escalating too fast, and then she’ll tell me that I’m creepy and have no game, then she’ll introduce me to her friends who love me — it makes NO SENSE, and it’s FUCKING AWESOME. Learn to love it. Let go of your silly desires and ego drives. Girls are completely nuts. Batshit crazy. Play with them. Dance with them. Get rejected by them. And seduce them. It’s all part of appreciating them. If you don’t have that, then you’re going to have a lot of empty nights out, drinking with your “wings,” running random openers, padding stats and getting no where.
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Thanks Mark!
Mark, as you know I think this article is the most important article that I’ve read in PUA, and when you just think about your experiences in real life it makes a lot of sense. It’s taken me a lot of time (and experience) to understand this article and I think it’s spot on. And you know what? I used to get really mad at women for this behavior (to be honest sometimes I still get mad, haha) but after reading this article over and over again and getting experience with women, I see this behavior almost childish, funny and like a kind of game. I think this is the way they react to “protect” themselves and make sure you are really interested. Thanks a lot for that Mark, and keep the good work up!
Leo.