Times change and things evolve. In the next couple months I plan on rebranding and renaming the site. I always liked the name “Practical Pick Up.” And up until recently, I think it succinctly and clearly described my content: a practical and no-nonsense alternative to meeting and dating more women.
But as you guys have probably noticed, the content has evolved quite a bit this last year. A lot more time has been spent on emotional processes, lifestyle development, vulnerability, motivation, male psychology, and the process of improvement.
These topics have been discussed in as much as they related to picking up women. But the truth is they are deeper than that. A lot deeper. And that have wider implications than simply going for the kiss here, asking her for her number there.
The more I research and understand this stuff and the more I work with guys with these problems, the more I feel like we’re just scratching the surface of what’s going on here. Getting laid was just the catalyst. This is a self help movement. But it’s more than just self help, it’s a men’s movement — made by men for other men — as a way of discovering our own roles and value in a post-modern, post-feminist society. As the first generations of men who grew up without gender roles lunged upon us and without traditional male role models in the home, we seem to be a bit amiss. And it took getting pissed off about not getting laid for us to finally wake up and try to start figuring it out.
My interests haven’t left discussing pick up or women, I guess you could say they’ve simply broadened beyond simply picking up women.
This site has also spent much of the last year debunking a lot of myths and poor teaching that have long existed in the pick up industry: techniques as placebos, the fake alpha male syndrome, the toxicity of the 10-scale, misogynistic fallacies, shit test paranoia and the unimportance of state control, just to name a few.
But I finally feel like there’s not really anything else to debunk. That. And there’s only so much you can say about meeting and dating women before you start repeating yourself. And I’m tired of repeating myself.
Meanwhile, there are plenty of topics relevant to present-day men that still go without discussion: handling our emotions around women, how to connect better in our relationships, understanding our own contradictory impulses, finding professional and personal happiness in the new global economy, developing every day discipline to live more healthy and content lives. On and on and on.
Obviously, the name “Practical Pick Up” doesn’t do these new topics much justice. The advice will still be here. And it will still be practical. And it will still work. But the site and brand needs a makeover. The term “pick up” in particular draws up too many negative connotations. It feels too limiting now.
I’d like to create something that men are proud to be a part of, proud to show to their friends and family, proud to put on their Facebook pages, without compromising the content or utility at the same time. I’d also like to have a business that I’m proud to talk about with people I meet without having to launch into a 20-minute explanation that no, it’s not misogynistic or manipulative, yes, it is real and men actually do need help. I’d also like to have a business that mainstream sites, magazines and shows would be happy to promote or be involved in without it being seen as some circus sideshow.
Originally I was going to wait until after the launch of the new G3 program before rebranding the site. But I decided it makes sense to do it the other way around.
I have a couple more large articles planned for PP, including one monster article that is totally over-intellectual, totally self-indulgent yet brilliant, and will probably require multiple posts to complete. It will kind of be my farewell and final offering to 100% pure pick up content before moving over to the new brand.
The new site will be more broadly focused on life development for men and delve deeper into the psychology, lifestyle, relationships and masculinity. Dating and women will still be a large part of it and in the beginning still make up most of the content. The quality control of the content will be taken up another notch. You probably won’t see anymore short one-off articles, or side-musings. I will be bringing on a couple other writers and/or collaborators as well. The only products that will exist will be Models and the new G3, once it’s complete, which will also be rebranded. Other products and programs will be released in the future. In-person coaching is on an indefinite hiatus, although phone and email coaching are still available. PickupTube will continue to exist but in isolation.
I’d like to take a moment and thank everyone for reading and contributing to this blog over the years. It’s been almost exactly four years since I put my first blog post down at the egging on of my roommate at the time. He had been telling me for months to start a blog so I could write down my thoughts and experiences about women. I always blew him off saying, “I don’t know what I’d write about. Nobody would read it anyway.”
Boy, was I wrong.
The evolution of this blog in many ways has paralleled my own personal development, and has slowly changed from a distraction, to a hobby, to a source of income, to a business and now to a full-on movement. Thank you for coming along for the ride. And stick around. It’s only going to get better.
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I sincerely wish you the best of luck!
Change it! sounds like the next step to the websites best of luck
Mark, when I read your stuff I wish I’d written much of it myself. As far as I’m concerned, you’re right on track and your work is profound. I have gotten tremendous value out of everything you’ve written and have referred your work to other guys many times. You and I are part of the convergent evolution of various coaches, therapists and experts contributing to the emerging men’s movement you’re talking about. I myself am an emerging dating coach for guys and I employ a broader philosophy as well.
So I too wish you the best, Mark. I’m a big fan. I will stay tuned.
Re-branding makes a lot of sense, the meaning and use of your articles is by far not limited to pick up!
Why don’t you offer live coaching at the moment? I was assuming it is your main source of income and maybe the main reason your website exists.
Also, I want to take a moment to congratulate you on your awesome site. It’s one of only two pick up sites I take a look at regularely these days, because I have the feeling they can tell me something I haven’t heard before. All the best for your future endeavors!
Coaching has not been my main source of income since late 2009. There are a few reasons I’m scaling it back (or possibly getting rid of it). But the main one right now is that I spend most of my time outside of the US and my availability is limited.
I may bring on some one to work under me and handle clients. I may do something like 2 bootcamps per year for guys who still want coaching. Or I may do none of it.
Either way, the day of flying around the country (and Europe) taking guys out weekend-after-weekend are pretty much over.
Awesome man, best wishes!
Best of luck, dude. In the last few days I have been listening to chapters 2 to 6, over and over again. Suddenly so many things start to make sense.
I’ve been here since literally the very first post and I’m proud to both watch this journey and contribute to it. Fkn awesome man!
it’s funny that some other puas are going in the same direction. i do check in on the rsd guy’s writing sometimes and it appears owen or tyler durden seems to also be going into the self help teaching or mentoring path.
after a certain point, and you get the sex, you rack up the numbers, and you go through a deep fulfilling good relationship with a great women, you change. your perspective changes. your life goals change.
it’s important for some guys who first start out doing pickup to realize that this area of life they want to improve will not solve their problems.
i honestly believe that after a certain point, after a certain number of years, you have to leave the “game” and focus on something else.
you will always have those skills to talk to women which you acquired through mastering the game and have the confidence in realizing that your life will be of abundance and chances to meet wonderful healthy women to be with.
Will you still have the forums at the new brand?
Also, what do you mean by, “pickuptube will continue to exist but in isolation?” Does that mean you won’t be uploading new videos on pickuptube? I think infield videos are one of the best ways to learn outside of actually practicing so I personally would like pickuptube to be a part of your new brand launch and would even like it to be one of the things you’re upgrading, perhaps launching it in addition to launching the new G3 program. Just an idea.
Yes to the forums.
PickupTube will no longer be updated for a few reasons:
1) creating that much infield footage is a huge pain in the ass and very labor-intensive. A lot of people love the site, but unfortunately, it’s not popular enough to justify the amount of time and effort that goes into right now. Maybe if I start becoming rich and can hire people to record and edit video for me.
2) The notion of filming guys macking on girls in the middle of bars doesn’t really fit with the brand or image that I want to create for my business in the long-run.
3) The more footage I make, the more legally vulnerable I become.
There WILL eventually be some infield footage of me in the approaching section of the new G3. But chances are it’ll simply be me demonstrating a lot of the approaching exercises I’m creating. But that won’t happen until probably early 2012.
On the note of you starting to become rich to hire people to take care of the videos, if you already have high traffic to your sites, perhaps selling ads will get you the money you need to hire those people. Works best after the sites are very popular of course.
Mark – awesome news. imho yours has always been the most readable, realistic and practical ‘pickup’ blog out there. Looking forward to the new site and content.
Loved the blog since I first stumbled upon in about 6 months ago.
Your book is ridiculously good so far. The first 3 chapters have constantly made me pause.
The simplest things you say have had profound effects on my life.
*What if it’s a gift?
*Being genuine and vulnerable.
*Learning about the pain period.
*The synchronicity of the 3 fundamentals.
etc.
I’ll definitely be sticking around.
Hey Mark, wanted to give you props on the blog and book, have enjoyed both very much and they have helped me mentally and emotionally a lot. I look forward to this new incarnation, good luck!
Hey Mark
Yeah, really lookin’ forward to seeing what you have got coming.
I’m sure it’ll be great
D..
Ah damn, I feel kinda sad that the ride is over but I wish you the best for your future endeavor.
There’s a great crew of people in San Francisco who are doing amazing work, they call themselves the “Authentic Man Program”, have you heard of them? They have taken a similar route like you: Initially they were focussing on the Male-Female relationships, recently they have focussed more on all relationships, community and being real in your whole life.
If you can tolerate a small amount of woo-woo, then it might be worth a look. Me personally I really like their stuff.
Best,
D
It sounds like your trying to become like Lovesystems or Adam Lyons. Even though Adam Lyons and Lovesystems are “pick up” companies, both have been widely accepted and both have given interviews for major television networks. I’ve seen Adam Lyons and Lovesystems on mainstream shows, which is one your goals stated above. I know your content is better than Lovesystems, but my point is it sounds like your going in the same direction since you’re trying to become bigger, more accepted, and part of mainstream.
Maybe, but Mark’s content is clearly massively different. And Mark said he’s going to focus on wider masculine issues than just picking up women, which is still the primary aim for both LS and Adam. And he said that he doesn’t want the media coverage to treat it as some circus sideshow, which is what often happens when PUA companies get on TV. So in conclusion, the only real similarity between Mark and those two is that he’s trying to get a bigger reach by getting coverage from a legitimate voice in mainstream media. Which makes him the same as every single commercial entity on the planet…
Lovesystems is a horrible comparison on my part, Adam Lyons is a better comparison. And I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Adam Lyons is amazing at what he does and he seems very proud of his brand, which is another similarity. Tim, what will be the primary aim for Mark’s new brand if its not picking up girls? However, I won’t really know if anything I’m saying is true until we actually see Mark’s new brand, which I’m sure will be great in its own unique way particularly because of the quality content.
“understanding our own contradictory impulses, finding professional and personal happiness in the new global economy, developing every day discipline to live more healthy and content lives”
I can tell you I don’t plan on going the way of Love Systems or Adam Lyons. I agree with Tim that every time LS has made a mainstream appearance, they’re treated as a circus sideshow.
Think more along the lines of: Tony Robbins + The Economist + AskMen.com
Haha I love the Economist being thrown in there. Not so much of the TR thanks though… And glad to see Askmen too. I know you’ve bagged them a bit in the past, but looking back I think they had a much better understanding of masculinity, fashion, sex, and being naturally attractive to women than most PUA advice I read. It’s just it’s not very directed or well organized.
@Chris2:
Well said.
Awesome.
This post resonated with me because it made me think about my own site’ how it started off with me posting fied reports when I was a complete rookie in the game. Now it’s entirely different.
Progress…it’s a beautiful thing.
Best of success,
JT
This post moved man. Seriously. I have been saying for years we need a mens movement. We need something we can be proud of. I have a mom and a dad, but they were so feminist-androgynist, I never felt I had a role model, a male role model. It is something I wanted desperately and it was very painful to feel alone, I don’t think I’m alone in my feelings.
Let me say one thing though, a lot of potential mens self help movements have destroyed themselves because they became mostly about creating income. I think the only true self help movements must be open source or at least “Freemium.”
Most PUA’s lost their way because they became business’s and were only concerned about attracting regular clients, rather than social change.
Please don’t make the mistake they did. Keep your eye on social change, don’t get lost. I really look forward to your new blog.
I read the post, and I agree, but I haven’t read any comments, so forgive me if I’m rehashing some of the same sentiments already given.
Have you ever read anything from the site of The Art of Manliness? Maybe go in that direction… increasing awareness of what it is to be a man.
Yes I have. I like it a lot. In a way you could say I am moving in that direction. But I’d like to retain much of the self-help aspect.
What about the demolitions? They are awesome, Mark.
I understand that they may require some tweaking, given the new direction you’re taking the site, but I bet many readers would love it if you were to demon one of those conversations here.
Hi Mark,
I’ve been reading men’s self-help content for a long time and I consistently come back to yours because I feel the integrity and lack of bullshit. I am excited to see the changes you have in store as this men’s movement snowballs.
Again, thank you so much for posting such quality content. They have immensely helped me in becoming a better human being. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Cheers.
Hi Mark. I really like your blog. You know I do the dating coach gig as well and really I don’t see myself staying interested for the long term. The only reason I went commercial with bootcamps was because people were willing to pay for it, and I’m a good teacher.
It’s really tricky to move out of dating coaching into life coaching. It is for me.
Then there is Internet Marketing. You’ve got guys like Rooshv that write really silly posts and are geared more towards entertainment. You’ve got guys like yourself that write very detailed, analytical posts and then there are the self help bloggers and “make money blogging” bloggers.
For myself, I called my blog Absolute Ability because, even though I write about success with women, I want a brand that can be expanded into other areas.
Pickup will always be an underground phenomenon.