Possibly the only time I ever recommend that guys memorize a handful of lines, is when it comes to conversation starters or ice-breakers.
These aren’t “openers” or what you say on the approach per se, they’re usually the 2nd or 3rd thing you say to a woman when you first approach her and meet her. They’re designed to get a conversation rolling naturally.
Again I think a big mistake guys make with these is that they make them more complicated than they need to be. Guys get nervous and start over-thinking everything and suddenly start feeling like they need some amazing line or conversation idea to get going.
Here are a couple simple ice-breakers that I use pretty regularly:
“You don’t seem like you’re from X,” where X is the city you’re in.
“Do you like Y?” Y can be anything you want to talk about. This is a good way to screen women quickly to figure out which one’s you may be interested in.
“I like your Z,” where Z is a genuine compliment. Example would be, “I like your shoes, where did you get them?”
I realize none of these sound particularly excited or dazzling, but that’s kind of the idea. Unless you’re in an extreme environment, most women are just expected normal, interesting conversation from you. There’s no reason to make up some wild story to try and impress a woman that you don’t even know.
Situational Versus Lines
There are two types of conversational starters: situational and lines. Above are examples of lines — they can be used on anyone and work in any situation. It’s good to have a few memorized to pull out in a situation where you can’t think of anything else to say.
The other type of ice-breaker is the situational ice-breaker. That’s where you comment on anything that’s particular for that moment or place. Here are some examples of situational conversation starters:
“Why are you sitting alone? Are you in time out?”
“Did you see the girls fighting outside?”
“I don’t like the music here, do you know a club that plays hip hop?”
“I couldn’t help but notice you guys are doing tequila shots. What’s the occasion?”
Etc.
It’s good to get into the habit of trying to notice things in your environment that you can comment on and strike up a conversation with.
Awkward Pauses
If you’re a newbie, chances are you’re going to run into a lot of awkward pauses. When approaching women, the onus is always on you to keep the conversation going — you are the one who started it after all.
When awkward pauses come up, a lot of guys’ first inclination is to bolt. They excuse themselves and kick themselves for being so nervous and awkward.
Don’t do this. Sit through the awkward pauses. If you can’t think of anything to say, then just relax until something comes up or until she leaves. It’s very important for you to 1) get used to these uncomfortable social situations so that they don’t bother you anymore, and 2) learn how to improvise conversation consistently.
I’ve devised an online program that provides almost 100 missions for guys to go out and do on their own. These missions are designed to build all of the proper conversational and attraction habits one after the other.
If you’re interested, you can check out a free PDF describing the program at http://www.getgirlfriendguaranteed.com/
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Listen to any good music this week?