What is “Picking Up” A Girl?
The term “pick up” refers to when a man attempts to get a woman sexually and/or romantically interested in him. Typically, it begins with him initiating a conversation with her and ideally concludes with them “hooking up” or having sex.
The fact that you’re even on this website right now means this probably isn’t news to you.
But here we take it a step further. When most men pick up girls, they aren’t cognizant of their actions or their methods. Like anything, when it comes to knowing how to pick up girls, there’s a certain logic behind it.
Most men will walk up (usually after 2-3 beers), ramble on a bit and hope for the best. Often, if he feels like he’s not getting anywhere, he’ll double down by offering a crude or sexual comment. Other times, he’ll just wuss out and become yet another male casualty known as a “friend.”
On this site, we approach things a bit differently. We believe in trying to understand female psychology, social dynamics, and basics of human sexuality to maximize our chances. Believe it or not, with some time, effort and the correct knowledge you actually can improve your ability to pick up girls. But we’ll get to that soon enough…
What are Girls Looking For?
Here’s a thought experiment for you. Think back to the last attractive girl you met that you wanted to get to know better. Preferrably think of one that you met and it didn’t lead anywhere sexual or romantic.
Now ask yourself, what made you stand out compared to the last 10 guys she met? Maybe you met her at a bar or a party. Think back to that place and think about the other guys there.
How did you stand out? Or did you?
This is the most basic principle that men don’t understand when it comes to this stuff: that if you aren’t offering anything particularly unique to women, then you’re going to have a hard time attracting women to you.
Every guy she meets like video games, likes sports, likes drinking beer and hanging out with his friends. A lot of them are smart. A lot of them are good-looking. A lot of them are funny.
So what makes you different?
It’s very useful to think of meeting and picking up girls in the similar way you would think about sales. This may sound cold and impersonal, but the parallels are amazing.
You’re the product. She’s the buyer. You walk up and make your pitch. Ultimately, she gives the thumbs up or thumbs down.
So if most girls are giving you the thumbs down, you need to do two things: shore up your product and work on your pitch.
The Fundamentals of Picking Up Girls
So let’s just run quickly through the “fundamentals” of this process. The vast majority of this site will fall into one of the categories below.
Approaching Women: It’s important to learn how to approach women you don’t know and start conversations with them. This is as plain as just upping your numbers and chances. The more girls you approach, the more girls you pick up. Simple as that.
Conversing with Women: It’s very important to have good social skills and conversational abilities, otherwise you’re going to have a hard time meeting and relating to new girls you meet.
Flirting: What separates a guy who makes a good friend and a guy who makes a good lover? The lover knows how to flirt and build attraction in a girl. This is crucial.
Physically Escalating: Commonly referred to as “making a move” or “pulling the trigger” between male friends. This is simply a matter of getting physical with women and becoming comfortable being sexual around them.
Knowing Where to Pick Them Up
The other factor when it comes to learning how to pick up girls, is knowing where to do it.
During the Day Time: A popular choice for its casual and low-key nature. Meeting women at the grocery store, the mall, coffee shops, on the bus, etc., is a popular choice because it’s so easy to converse. Getting phone numbers in these locations is usually pretty straight-forward, although a drawback is that you’re often limited by time.
Bars and Clubs: Usually more difficult and more intimidating for the guys who are more shy. Bars and clubs offer tons of opportunities, but also present a lot of obstacles. Depending on the venue, the difficulty can be pretty high to meet cool girls at these places. But at the same time, bringing her the same night you meet her isn’t out of the question.
School or Class: If you’re a younger guy, you’re in luck, because you spend every day in an environment full of girls of the same age and interests. Totally a different ball game and should be treated as a unique situation. Read about picking up girls in college for more information.
Through Friends: A great way to meet women, and the classic approach for most men. This is easiest of all, and though we discuss it a little when we mention social circles, it’s not the primary focus. The idea is that if you can pick up girls in the places and situations above, then picking them up through friends will be a cakewalk.
The Most Important Step
What’s most important is that you’re aware that picking up girls is something that can be focused on and improved.
I recommend checking out the Guide to Improving With Women as well as reading all of the “fundamental” articles on this site. This is an exciting time for you, as you’re soon going to be able to take your personal life and relationships with women to places you only dreamed of previously.
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Great breakdown. So glad I found this site.