You see a beautiful woman. She may be walking down the street, standing at the bar, waiting in line at the coffee shop. What do you say? Should you say something? Is she single? How do you know?
These are questions that pass through millions of guys’ minds each time they seem a gorgeous woman. Now imagine if you never had to worry about any of those questions and instead you took action and were able to start a conversation with her.
Common Mistakes and Misconceptions
The most common misconception about approaching is that it’s difficult. There’s nothing difficult about approaching a woman in and of itself, it simply involves physically walking up to a person and opening your mouth.
What IS difficult about approaching is how men have been conditioned to feel about it. Often men feel like it makes them feel weird, or they’re being disrespectful or bothering a woman by talking to her.
In my experience, as long as you’re being respectful and not being strange, women are very accommodating toward strangers talking to them. It’s kind of funny that in a world where we’re all so glued to our televisions and computers, people have forgotten that simply speaking to one another doesn’t require a reason.
The biggest mistake that men make when approaching is thinking that they need something super clever or funny to grab her attention with. Again, you don’t NEED an excuse to speak to a woman. For a long time, pick up advice felt very strongly that you needed specific lines or techniques in order to start a conversation with a woman.
All this does is show how insecure you are as well as a lack of confidence. Often a simple and polite “Hello,” followed by a basic question or statement is more than enough to suffice. Often I simply tell women, “I just wanted to say hi.” As long as you can say this confidently and follow it up with decent conversation, there’s no need for a fancy opener or line that you need to practice.
Being dependent on lines or techniques is a crutch and will ultimately never teach you how to genuinely start conversations whenever you want.
It’s Not What You Say First
That’s because the most important thing to remember about approaching women is that it doesn’t really matter what you say first. I’ve walked up and said some really ridiculous and stupid stuff to women to start out. But what matters is what you say SECOND.
See, what you say first really only serves to get a girl’s attention. You can ask her a question, tell her some ridiculous story about a fight outside, come up with some clever compliment about her, whatever you want to say. But really it’s just going to grab her attention, something that can just as easily be done with a smile and “Hello.”
It’s what you say second that will determine if she’s going to talk to you or not. It’s AFTER you have her attention. You can have the coolest and most interesting line to get her attention, but as soon as you’re done saying it, you have to follow it up with a conversation. If you’re unable to do that, then she’s not going to stick around, no matter what you talk to her with first.
This is why I tell guys that you can literally approach a woman with ANYTHING. I approached a girl once with, “Can I pee in your butt?” and later hooked up with her. I’ve approached women with, “Hi, I’m Mark, I wanted to meet you,” and hooked up with them. In every case, what has mattered is how I followed up my approach.
Fear of Rejection
The biggest hindrance to men approaching is a fear of rejection. This is common and is often referred to as “Approach Anxiety.” There are multiple ways to dealing with it.
The thing to remember with approach anxiety is that the longer you wait, the worse it’s going to get. The faster you approach the first woman of the day, the easier all of the rest will be. For some reason, when you approach one woman, your confidence seems to become immune to being nervous about it again.
So I always recommend to guys, that if they plan on approaching a woman, just get the first one out of the way as soon as possible. Who cares if it goes well or not, because there will be more women and when they come around, you’ll have the first one out of the way and already be feeling more confident.
Approaching 20 Women a Day
If this is a particularly troubling area for you, then I recommend looking into my G3 Class. It involves laying out specific exercises and missions for you and slowly builds up your confidence and approaching abilities in a realistic but gradual manner. The Program has taken guys who were always too afraid to approach to approaching up to 20 women a day within a week. It’s really done wonders for a lot of men.
For more information, you can check out a free PDF report on the method here: http://www.getgirlfriendguaranteed.com/
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