I thought I'd make a different thread for this so I don't hijack Slim's thread. I'm having the same problem as Slim. The thing is, I've been upfront right from the start that until we both agree we are mutually committed, we are free to be dating other people. I also hang out only once a week with this girl. Phone and text contact is quite low as well. But this girl is falling for me way too deep. Part of it is that she hasn't been with a guy in a long time and she likes me way more than I like her (even though I haven't been with a girl for almost infinitely longer than she hasn't been with a guy).

I also drop hints periodically alluding to other women. I had no problem doing all these things so far. Now that I care about this chick somewhat, I don't like doing this to her. I'm definitely not ok making her my girlfriend. So I'm kind of caught between the devil and the deep sea, even though I'm being upfront and inline with all our previous talks.

More than anything, I would like some insight on why I'm feeling bad despite having been upfront. Am I being unfair to her? Is it ok to do what I'm doing? Above all, I value my integrity. I don't want to do anything to compromise that. But I'm a bit hazy about this situation. So any advice/insight will be appreciated.

I think it's just that you feel that, one way or another, you will hurt her if you keep dating her as you are now. Which feels bad because you care about this girl. So you can't feel good and congruent when dating her, because you're hurting her in a way. In similar situations I would also kind of hold back in being nice and creating intimacy, knowing that it would make her want me more.. This may be irrational or nice-guy, but it's how I feel and I don't think it's bad to view things this way.

I think a situation where she loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you, while you just enjoy being with her and nothing more, can't exist in the long term. At least not without a lot of drama.

In a situation like this, some girls will end it themselves (even though it is a very hard thing to do!). Others will want what they can't have for a long time. Some people ascribe this to self-esteem: high self-esteem girls will eventually realize that the situation doesn't make them happy and that they deserve better. While I remember a low self-esteem girl that I dated for a long time saying 'I would rather be with you and be unhappy than not have you at all'.

Have you discussed the issue with her at all? Sometimes bringing stuff out into the open can resolve it. I'm a fan of honesty.

I wasn't going to post, for the same reason you opened a new thread , but thinking about this shed some light on my relationship.
Looks like you do care for this girl and enjoy spending time with her. Caring is a form of love, isn't it? It may not be the lustful "this is the one and I want you all for me", but nevertheless you are giving to her.
Although this is probably different for her, how would you feel if some chick you really like told you that she enjoyed spending time with you but wasn't ready for a relationship? Would you want her to give it all to you or to stand back not to hurt your feelings?

You don't need to tell her about other women. It should be enough that you tell her that you are not ready to have a committed relationship with her, although you like her a lot. The more you trust that she can deal with it, the more she'll realize that it's on her hands and more empowered she is likely to feel.
Acting like your actions can hurt her, seems conductive to her feeling mislead and hurt. Does it make sense?
This is where I've been doing it wrong. I avoid looking my girl in the eyes, bc I don't want her to know how much I like her. I've been seeing my primary for 6 months, usually once a week, and in August we had a break bc she "is too sensitive to be just a fuck buddy". We talked after we restarted seeing, and she seems to have rationalised the age gap (12 years) as the main obstacle for something more. Nevertheless, I feel that she is way more invested than me, and is often qualifying herself. I've been fearing letting her go deep with me, when I should just enjoy and cheer the great thing we've build.