So a friend of my gave me a link to an article written by some instructor, he said it was good stuff.

So I started reading it and I just got confused, and then it hit me, this guy is working for RSD! That explains the weird termology he used, however I dont know what to feel about this. The article basicly stated that the girl feels whatever you feel, so if you're nervous you are fucked, and she can always unconsiously read your state, your heartrate, your breath pattern and everything.

Anyone with knowledge in psychology here? The article is kinda long but if you have nothing to do, feel free to read it and give your comments:

http://alexattitude.com/archives/95

It's true to an extent. Feelings are contagious, nervous people make people nervous, happy people make others happy. There are other factors at play, but basically yes, if you are nervous, it will rub off on her, to an extent.

No way I'm going to read that whole article.

But yeah, feelings are contagious, like Jon says. When you see someone smile, you are likely to smile yourself, or at least be cheered up by it. If one person panics in a threatening situation, it will affect the feelings of the other people there.

I had already written a whole post with pointless intellectualizing, but that would be counter-productive. But it's a lot more complicated than saying "emotions are contagious, so if you feel bad emotionas, you're fucked!". That whole mindset is wrong. Women are not rejection-machines. They are people with wishes and insecurities and anxieties and so on themselves.

And besides, anxiety can be "cute" to a girl. Or she can mirror the anxiety (or just feel it herself) and interpret it as exciting, or as tension between you two.

Some women even find depression or sadness sexy. Couple years ago my dad has some serious heart issues and needed to go in for emergency surgery while I was in Belgium. I went out with a friend to drink it off. I was in a horrible mood. Didn't want to talk to anyone. Didn't want to meet any women. Just drink.

This girl kept talking to me. She was cute but I didn't care. Finally she came out and said, "Why are you so sad?" I spilled my guts and she sat there and consoled me all night. Bought me drinks too. She went home with me and slept with me. She told me later that it was totally irrational but that she had an overwhelming desire to make me feel better. That I was like a wounded soldier and she was almost turned on by the idea of taking care of me.

Totally bizarre. But other completely irrational experiences have happened as well over the years. Like Phillip said, emotions are complicated. Humans are complicated. Yes, positive emotions generally generate more positive responses than negative emotions. But it's not an all/nothing thing. Just be who you are. Don't apologize for it. Make yourself happy as possible for your own sake, not anyone else's.

(My dad's fine now BTW.)

I have to agree with mark here. This is also why I can't stand the "get into state" advice.

How ridiculous is this! So that means that you're only good when you're in state?

I used to be very critical of myself when i wasn't super funny or less present then I normally am (f.e. if I felt tired or so). But after a while, I just let it go. Did people responded differently to me? Not at all, in fact even better. It's just normal to sometimes be in a bad mood. If you can just accept that and don't start fighting it, you'll do just fine.

And personally I can't stand these "I'm always high energy, super positive people". Adam Lyons is a great example of this and all I can think of is "great another one of those".

but generally speaking I'm a verry happy person off course

Hmm, that idea is true to an extent though.

If you're feeling super needy toward the girl, shouldnt she feel needy toward you as well? LOL

Ok Ive managed to read thru it all. Shit, there are so many concepts that contradict in there.

He talks about alpha-males having no ego and therefor self-esteem and that beta males have ego and therefor tries to impress people while alpha males who only have pure self esteem expresses themselves which makes beta-males and women be reactive to this expression cause their ego is second guessing everything and takes on every role that people gives them (alpha males who expresses themselves).

He says that who you are is 1. Present 2. Positive-Dominant and 3. Man of action and living outside of this is having a "chode-ego" and not the real you and this shows cause when you drink alcohol you get into expression mode instead of impression which makes you present, positive and up-beat, dominant and a man who takes action. And when you do this you become "naturally attractive" cause you feel good which will make girls feel good cause "whatever you feel they feel" which will make girls want to fuck you, basicly.

Uhh... right general idea. But explained horribly.

Read the first four chapters of my book. Explains it much better... and you know, with actual psychological research rather than this drivel.

These days whenever I see anyone ever say the words "no ego" I immediately check out. It's impossible to not have an ego. We all have egos. And we all need egos. The proper question is not whether you have an ego or not, it's whether you control your ego, or whether your ego controls you.

(10-21-2011 02:37 PM)Mark Wrote:  These days whenever I see anyone ever say the words "no ego" I immediately check out. It's impossible to not have an ego. We all have egos. And we all need egos. The proper question is not whether you have an ego or not, it's whether you control your ego, or whether your ego controls you.

This is completely accurate even going by eastern philosophy which is the biggest proponent of the "no ego" stuff. According to eastern philosophy, you will drop down dead the moment you have no ego. Why? Because if you don't self-identify with you body, it can no longer function. I know that sounds cryptic and I'm not doing a good job explaining it, but the best you can do is minimize you ego. You have to have a atleast a sliver of ego to be alive.

(10-21-2011 02:37 PM)Mark Wrote:  Uhh... right general idea. But explained horribly.

Read the first four chapters of my book. Explains it much better... and you know, with actual psychological research rather than this drivel.

These days whenever I see anyone ever say the words "no ego" I immediately check out. It's impossible to not have an ego. We all have egos. And we all need egos. The proper question is not whether you have an ego or not, it's whether you control your ego, or whether your ego controls you.

Yeah mark I guess ur ideas is that you shouldnt try to impress people, and when u shift from trying to impress to just expressing urself without careing what other people think u will become more attractive.

My question to this is, how do u do that when u... WANT TO impress the girl? Like, u havent got laid in like 6 months and u obviously wanna pickup the girl