I think I have a problem making new friends and let them into my life cause I dont want them to know Im kind of a loser.

Im 24 and have no driver licence and almost no friends, almost no hobbies more than strenght training and it feels like I just dont "know" as much about the world as other people in my age.

Thing is I dont LOOK like the typical "nerd nolifer" guy, Im muscular, tattooed and masculine features, so from the outside I dont look like a loser, but I really am, so its like I dont want them to "find out the truth". I guess Im in shame for my life and its affecting my people skills.

How would u go about solving this?

Take a chance. having friends means risking rejection. No matter what you do with your life, you will still risk rejection when you open yourself up for new people.

Get a driver's license?

(10-20-2011 10:44 AM)TheBoss Wrote:  Get a driver's license?

meh, i dont have one

but i live in nyc, so fuck it.

I am a believer in the camp that every human being as he/she is has intrinsic worth. There is only one of you in all of space and time. You are special! Embrace yourself as you are and I promise you will never feel like a loser. On more practical terms though, take a chance and let people in. You will be surprised by how "human" and "imperfect" people are.

I think the number one thing you should do is stop thinking your a loser. Your own personal view of yourself is so important that if you fill your mind with poison, then you will never solve anything. True friends are ones who accept you for who you are regardless of race or culture. If you don't have hobbies go out and find something to do. You'll feel much better about yourself if you go out and do stuff rather than sit at home and feel down. I've done that for over 6 years and didn't get me anywhere. If you don't have a license just go out and get it! What's stopping you?

Again, it all comes back to how you feel about yourself so change your defeatist attitude into something more positive about yourself.

(10-20-2011 09:19 AM)MartinRiggs Wrote:  I think I have a problem making new friends and let them into my life cause I dont want them to know Im kind of a loser.

Im 24 and have no driver licence and almost no friends, almost no hobbies more than strenght training and it feels like I just dont "know" as much about the world as other people in my age.

Thing is I dont LOOK like the typical "nerd nolifer" guy, Im muscular, tattooed and masculine features, so from the outside I dont look like a loser, but I really am, so its like I dont want them to "find out the truth". I guess Im in shame for my life and its affecting my people skills.

How would u go about solving this?

You probably think you're a loser because you assign tons of value that people dont even have before you even talk to them. Once you talk to enough people, you realize a lot of them have very similiar weakness as you and it'll be more comfortable to make them your friends.

Short answer, approach more and talk to more people.

Thanks for the help guys I really appreciate it. Gonna have to think about things.