(10-19-2011 09:50 AM)Denis Wrote:  Good advice. Except I think (at least for me), this would be a good recipe for a mini-burnout/depression. Like James Howell wrote: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".

One year of hard work never killed anybody. The guy has had his whole life to play. Time to suck it up.

(10-19-2011 02:26 PM)Mark Wrote:  

(10-19-2011 09:50 AM)Denis Wrote:  Good advice. Except I think (at least for me), this would be a good recipe for a mini-burnout/depression. Like James Howell wrote: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".

One year of hard work never killed anybody. The guy has had his whole life to play. Time to suck it up.

Agreed, last year I had to retake 6 exams (including 3 heavy ones) + I still had to finish my thesis.

I eventuallly only failed one. Sure, it wasn't a summer full of activities, but to be honest, I'm glad I had the experience. This was a huge self esteem booster for me. Especially when other people congratulated me on my results.

Thank you everybody for your input.
I understand now that getting some/any job and becoming financially independent is the critical part and what I must take care of first. But simply going out and asking around, still feels so hard. But it's not true that I idled around the last decade and "played", I almost never went to parties and didn't have a substance abuse problem for example, it's just that all these negative thoughts of failing are my constant companion.

shadow hinted:
1) you need a support structure. Seek out some organization or group of people who are commited to change.

Can you give examples? I can't even imagine what a group that is commited to change looks like. You mean like a self help group (e.g. AA)?

I am probably not the only one, who has a hard time at actually implementing advice, am I? Understanding at an intellectual level what needs to be done and that you have to change your belief system to succeed, but ultimately failing to act on it, complete physical inertia, while my mind is running with thoughts like "Just do it. It's easy. Why don't you do anything for god's sake?"
I have already read a number of books on all kind of self help themes (money, confidence, depression, procrastination), just for some reason I don't know, I tend to disregard advice from people, which I think have never been in that very situation, under these conditions and fallen behind so much, it is like asking the favorite-PUA reference Brad Pitt for dating advice and he tells you: "Just be yourself, man. It works for me."

How do you make the step from intellectually understanding a concept to acting on it, when suspending disbelief and "fake it until you make it" doesn't seem to work because the voice in your head tells you, that it's all fake?

norobot

Start with this forum. Write down some specific goals here that we can hold you accountable to. Then come back and post on the results.

Start small. Don't over think things. Take action. Any action.

Something that is helpful: once you have a goal in mind, spend some time thinking about what steps you should be taking, in a very concrete way, to move towards your goal. Get really, really detailed. These should be very small steps. So if your goal is to find a job, sit down and write things out like "google job search websites." and "sign up for job search mailing lists." Very basic things so that you know exactly what to do to move the ball along.

Norobot, I completely agree with you. Its not that you don't know what to do. Your fear of failure is crippling you. While this forum is great, I don't think it is the right resource for this. Too much diversity of opinion. Plus holding people accountable when you don't have physical contact is hard.

Seek out "depression support groups". For example, based on a quick search, I found depressionalliance.org in the UK. When I get home, I'll try to search for some in Germany. Don't know German, so it makes it a bit hard. If you can't find any, email/meet a doctor or psychotherapist asking if he knows of any support groups in your area. Good luck dude. I hope you find happiness.

Norobot: Alright. I did some basic search using google translate etc. I guess the term is "depression Gesprächsselbsthilfegruppen". I searched using those keywords and found this website:

http://www.awo-stormarn.de/angebote/bera...ionen.html

Even if they are not in your area, try emailing the contact in there to find groups in your area. I feel like finding a support group is the most important for you. You need to gain control of your emotional and thought processes. By doing this with other people, you will break out of past mental patterns.

norobot,
if you are a student in an, at least, medium sized uni, you should have a professional counsellor available. (S)he can help you getting started and will know where to direct you should you need further assistance. The person is there to help you with the studies but they usually help with more general problems, like yours.
See also student health care, in case it is available to you and, failing that, public health care. I don't know how it is organized there in Germany, but I'd guess they'd see you through, take you for further consultations or point you in the right direction.