I saw this girl on the street (night time) on her bike. I was about to open her, when the signal turned green and she whizzed away. As I walked, I saw her parking her bike and locking it up, presumably ready to enter her house.

I opened her direct. She opened well and started asking questions. But she was reluctant to divulge information about her. She had an accent and asked if she was Russian. She said, "Not really". I said, "You are definitely not American". She said, "Close enough". I said, "Puerto Rican". She asked me where I'm from. I told her. She asked me what I do. I told her I work in a small company and I'd give her 20 bucks if she had heard of the name. When I told her the name, she said, "I know". I said, "Shut up. Get outta here. You're a liar". I asked her what she did, she said, "A lot of things". I said, "That is pretty boastful. Definitely not humble". I was smiling while saying that. Definitely no malice and she didn't take any offense. When she asked me what I did, I said, "A lot of things" and started laughing.

After these pleasantries, she said, "Nice to meet you". I said, "Nice to meet you. Let's get some coffee sometime". She said ok and then thought about it and asked me for my business card. I said, "I don't have my business card. Don't worry. It's just coffee. You can always cancel later if you don't want to". She said yes and put her number in. I gave her a missed call. Don't know if it was her number or not. In my experience, if a girl is interested, she saves your number enthusiastically.

Anyway, after the #-close, I finally guessed that she was German. She said, "Yeah. Kind of". I said, "Kind of? So you are not German?". She said, "No, I'm german". I asked her where she is from in Germany, since I've visited. She said, "I don't know". I said, "You don't know?". She said, "I don't have to tell you". I said, "Look, I don't really have the time to go and google you. <Your_name> Germany. I seriously don't have time to do that shit". Again, it was said in a very matter of fact way. I wasn't angry or anything. We then bid each other goodbye.

So the question is this. Obviously, she didn't want to tell me where she is from because she didn't feel comfortable/safe. Instead of being dismissive like I was (I don't have time...), should I have been more reassuring? Something like, "I understand that this is not usual and you are not feeling comfortable. But don't worry. I think you are cute and look forward to catching a cup of coffee". Whadda ya thunk?

Only from what I have read: That was great game of you.

I remember an older FR of yours, and you have definitely improved.

The logistics of course were shitty. If you could have catched her on a public square or in a park, a short instant date would have been possible if you could get her invested more.

The general problem was lack of compliance = lack of attraction, not lack of comfort. But this had nothing to do with your game.

The lack of compliance comes from a lack of comfort. She's didn't feel secure around him so that's why she didn't answer his questions.

Whenever a girl roadblocks me like that because she doesn't feel comfortable enough around me, I immediately share about myself what I just asked her. So in this situation when she said she didn't have to tell me, I would have immediately said, "I'm from Boston. But I grew up in Texas. Blah, blah, blah."

Typically if you go first and share things about yourself, they'll become comfortable enough to share something about themselves.

Hello! Am I the only one that noticed this? Don't randomly street approach chicks at night, it scares them.

(10-09-2011 09:07 PM)General G Wrote:  Only from what I have read: That was great game of you.

I remember an older FR of yours, and you have definitely improved.

The logistics of course were shitty. If you could have catched her on a public square or in a park, a short instant date would have been possible if you could get her invested more.

The general problem was lack of compliance = lack of attraction, not lack of comfort. But this had nothing to do with your game.

Thanks General G and Mark. I agree with Mark. She was definitely attracted, because she asked me a number of questions right off the bat. But the fact that I was standing outside her place etc. made her wary. I usually do what Mark says, but I was leaving and didn't want to prolong the convo.

As for the improvements, they came about due to a few things:

1) Being upfront about intentions. I may not always open direct. But they'll know within a few minutes. Majority of my sets are direct. I do this because I feel inauthentic doing indirect. Basically, I don't like tricking the girl into anything with me. I want it to be mutual or I don't need it. I don't care how hot she is.

2) Setting realistic expectations. Earlier, I was trying to get every girl. You can imagine how difficult that would be. I would tweak my gameplan every 10 interactions. It was dumb, dumb, dumb. Now, I've come to accept that it is a numbers game. Again, earlier, if it was not an SNL, it was bad game. Over time, I realized that using SNLs as the only mode for a sex life is pretty stupid. You end up sinking inordinate amounts of time for low gain. Plus, I don't think I can SNL drunk girls (the easiest category). I have some ethical blocks there. I lost two lays last week where the girl literally left her group and walked out to the street with me after I opened. But she was so drunk that I was feeling bad for them and was being all affectionate and shit. On cue, they left, when they found I couldn't give them what they want.

3) No analysis of interactions from the point of view of why didn't she like me. I need to fix this, I need to fix that. I've become secure in the knowledge that I'm good as I am. That everything that blocks me from improving is within me. I isolated myself from women and I need to unisolate myself.

4) Being truthful and real. Eg. Before this interaction, I was talking to a girl at a bar. She said, "I'm doing great. Just having some fun with the ladies". I ignored the cue and asked her something else. Again, she worked in how she was hanging out with the ladies. I told her, "I love how you keep working the ladies into every sentence. You are like, get the hint, get the hint". It created some tension, because she didn't know how to react. But she burst out laughing and I #-closed her eventually.

Those are some awesome changes. Great to see.

Those are all great changes man and i wish you the best. But, for this specific approach I'm 100% sure it's because you approached her randomly at night. I still get creeped out sometimes when I'm walking home alone, I imagine girls feel the same way. Their stranger danger radar goes way up. Unless the approach is in a socially acceptable situation, say on the street where there is night life going on, you should definitely just let them go. Don't be the weird guy.

(10-10-2011 07:32 AM)Playmaker001 Wrote:  Those are all great changes man and i wish you the best. But, for this specific approach I'm 100% sure it's because you approached her randomly at night. I still get creeped out sometimes when I'm walking home alone, I imagine girls feel the same way. Their stranger danger radar goes way up. Unless the approach is in a socially acceptable situation, say on the street where there is night life going on, you should definitely just let them go. Don't be the weird guy.

My approach is what do you have to lose? If they walk away, I don't chase them. If they stay, I have a shot. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. BTW, street sets at night are some of the best for quick lays. I haven't pulled it off, but I've seen it happen multiple times.

(10-10-2011 07:32 AM)Playmaker001 Wrote:  Those are all great changes man and i wish you the best. But, for this specific approach I'm 100% sure it's because you approached her randomly at night. I still get creeped out sometimes when I'm walking home alone, I imagine girls feel the same way. Their stranger danger radar goes way up. Unless the approach is in a socially acceptable situation, say on the street where there is night life going on, you should definitely just let them go. Don't be the weird guy.

it can go fine, just depends on context.

@ Jon: Exactly, and in the context of him approaching that girl on her bike, it wasn't going to work out. All I'm saying is it's not a mystery as to why this specific approach didn't work out, so stop overanalyizing it.

Come on guys, you can't honestly say you all go out at night and hit on girls walking home alone (at least i hope not). There's people new to this forum and game in general that read this. Don't turn them into creepers.

Night time at bars, sure. Walking down Manhattan, Burbon street, or any street where there's a party/celebration atmosphere, go for it. You both are walking at night and live in the same building, go ahead and chat her up in the elevator, i do it all the time. BUT, there's some situations where it's just not acceptable. This is one of them.