I ride the subway to work. Lately, I've been peacocking quite a bit, at least for me (faux hawk and brightly colored shirts that almost nobody wears in my neighborhood) and I've been practising making/holding eye contact with women. I'm fairly certain that peacocking is getting me eye contact that I wouldn't get otherwise. I have no idea if it helps women want to to sustain eye contact with me because I've always been shy and looked away immediately, but now that I'm sustaining eye contact, it's been pretty good (can go for 2-3 seconds as they walk toward me). But I digress. These days it often happens that while I'm standing on the train platform, a woman walking toward me will make at least some kind of eye contact then walk past me only to stop a few feet away, but not facing me (she may even have her back turned and her headphones on). She'll start playing with her phone. It seems weird to me. No doubt some women are in their own little bubble but I would think the vast majority of them would want to keep a little bit of distance from strange men. Could these be approach invitations? It seems possible but I have my doubts. One reason for doubting is that in many cases I'm 20 years older than these women (they're college aged) and they're close enough to figure out that I'm much older, though they'd probably be surprised at how much. Also, this is daytime and they're typically wearing headphones. Put it all together (the body language and headphones) and it doesn't scream "open me!"

One other detail: when I'm on the platform it's mostly empty, but people do prefer to stand on my part of the platform to get on the end of the train because that puts them where they want to be when they get off. So, they have a reason to be within 10-15 feet of me but not four feet. Four feet is pretty close when there is plenty of space!

What do you think? Women in their bubbles? Or approach invitations? (perhaps subconscious?)

Only one way to find out!

(10-04-2011 02:03 PM)shadow Wrote:  Only one way to find out!

Agreed. That said, if they are wearing headphones, its probably not an approach invitation. You also don't need an approach invitation to approach.

You need to find it out, dude. Proximity can be an IOI but on the other side they might feel more safe standing closer to another person.

Perhaps I am missing something here, but these girls are walking past you, turning their back to you and play with their cell phones/ listen to music, and you are questioning whether or not this is an approach invitation? Girls are not that cryptic, if they are "asking" you to say hi, we are certainly not going to turn our backs on you. You can put product in your hair and pop the collar of your purple polo, but just because a girl looks at you, this does not necessarily mean she is inviting you to come talk to her. Sometimes eyes meet, it just happens. Your best bet is to stop worrying about whether or not a girl is giving you an approach invitation and just go up and say hi to a girl that catches your eye.

I have been practicing holding eye contact longer because when they hold it back you can really gauge their interest level. That being said, practicing this too much is a waste if you aren't actually approaching, take it from me, I have been getting short lived boosts that attractive women are obviously attracted to me, but that is nothing of value compared to actually talking to them and finding out.