Sometimes, I really don't understand why I do this. What about having sex with random women appeals to me so much? Why do I go out so obssessively? What drives me? I don't think it is sex. I don't think I have enough drive. So what is it? Is it because I set a goal of getting good at this, so I just have to? I don't know. Is it because of validation?

Anyway, the post is mostly rhetorical. I felt like getting my thoughts out there. Insights and discussion obviously welcome though.

There are really good questions to ask.

I'm asking myself these same questions, as I'm sure many guys on this board and others are. It can get pretty discouraging at times, but I do have three small things that I keep in mind.

1) Just asking them is a start to finding the answer. 2) If I look back, I'm closer to knowing than when I first started. 3) If I keep asking, I know that one day I'll figure it out.

That doesn't really answer your questions, but I hope it gives you something.

Everyone of us have a certain drives to do it. I think it takes a while to discover a deeper reason why we do it until we find out the exact one.

I guess I'll list mine. Remember, the more emotional and dirty the reason we find out, the more likely that it's true.

1. Pornography: For years, I see such hot sex actions in porn and impossible deeds that eventually, I want fullfilled. For example, I see 3some in porn and one day i want to experience that. I figure if i experience that, I would feel a great heightend sense of arousal. There's of course more sexual turns on but you get the idea.

2. Putting physical beauty on the pedestal: Now it's definitely a lot less than before. I have this fantasy to fuck the hottest girl ever where she have ridicolously perfect physical features. In a fantasy world, she would say all the right thing and everything will be perfect. However, in the real world, because girls are human being, they often have shitty personality trait that would automatically turn me off. We all assign personality traits in the girls that are positive just because they're beautiful, only to discover that it doesnt actually exist in that particular girl.

3. Insecurity: Growing up as an asian, I always felt that in order to attract the hottest girls in america, I have to try harder and work harder than white dudes to get my dues.

4. Connections: I think it might be the fact i havent shown enough vunerability to women, but i havent met a single girls who actually "gets" me and understand who i am as a human being. But then again, 90 percent of my guy friends doesnt either.

Tell me about. Yesterday evening, as I was travelling through downtown and seeing everyone getting ready for the night, I felt something that could be described as a withdraw symptom- I wasn't able to go out this weekend, nor will I go out on next. Both for good reason. Yet, I yearned to be out there.
It's probably not about the sex per se. Last weekend I wasn't the least happy to bump into a girl I've been seeing for 4 weeks. In fact, I tried to leave the bar unnoticed...

This line of questioning will eventually go very, very deep. And like Brian said, the deeper it is, the more true it's likely to be.

From your list Brian, I'd say #3 and #4 are probably some of the most fundamental motivators. And there's probably even more and deeper stuff there.

#1 is an interesting reason. I had never considered that before, as I've always been pretty sexually deviant. I started watching porn when I was 8-9 years old.

The more I think about it, the more it seems to me that I want to be reassured that women like me. I don't know why this is. I had a wonderful relationship with my mom and still do. Maybe I'm looking for affection, just like I used to get from my mom. Additionally, I want to prove to myself that I can get hot girls. This is such a dichotomy, because I actually think that hotness has nothing to do with anything. It doesn't mean the girl is interesting, it doesn't mean the girl is smart. It doesn't mean anything. It is essentially a trophy to my need for validation. Somewhat similar to Brian, with white girls I have a need to prove the world wrong that asian men can't get white girls. So it is an interesting mish-mash of reasons.

I must say this though. The voice that used to tell me that pickup is not something I should be doing is so muffled that I can hardly hear it. I just get out of the house without thinking almost. Every night I go out, I go out with the optimism that I'm going to pull some hot ass tonight. If I don't, I'll come back and jack off in preparation for the next day. In fact, I'm not even looking for lays per se. I passed up a few, paradoxical as it is for a guy with such minimal experience. But I didn't feel the girls and having a FB means I only hit on girls that I feel strongly about. Unless I'm horny. In which case, all the rules go out the window.

Sex is a lot better when you're horny.

Funny now that you mention you have low sex drive and consequently, so am I. However, as one asian bro to another, i have an asian friend who's 200lb+ of pure muscle and the dude fucks 8 times a night.

Going to the gym not only makes you looks better, hence gets more chicks, you also get more quality + quantity of sex as well.

There are times i pulled girls only to have a limp dick. When that happen, it fucking pisses me off, all that work for nothing.

It's always gale me when a pua posted a lay report "oh yeah, i pulled her but whiskey dick". It's like, so yeah, i put in all that fucking work and cant even enjoy sex, but please give me validation on the forum for pulling....wtf.

Sounds like you are looking for sex and not a woman who can challenge you. That's what I look for in a relationship and in a sexual partner. I want to meet someone who pushes my boundaries.

Instead of being down, be proud of what you've accomplished but it's time to move on the phase 2, whatever that is for you... finding a soul mate, finding the girl that will blow your mind in bed, or maybe just dating multiple people at once. I'm still figuring out what I want out of this but I love that I feel more comfortable talking to random people and it's helped me to enjoy a city that I hated when I first moved out here for a job