Hey,

So I'm 23 and have a date tomorrow with a 32 year old. I've never met anyone online before, so I just want to know what is the main thing I have to look out for (other then her being fat and psycho). Also she's older, so I'm worried we might not have much to talk about.

Does sex on first date usually happen from online dates? Or it's more likely that I'll have to see her again soon. I'm not planning to date this woman seriously, I just want to have sex with her a couple of times and that's it.

Thanks.

Oh man... I remember my first online date. I went through the exact same things as you. My advice is try not to analyze every possible scenario and what you should do in this case, that case or this case... this gets you no where fast. After several more online dates I realized the key is to relax and treat her like you would treat a chick you briefly met at a bar or on the street.

Has anyone ever told you age is just a number? I'm 24 and have been with 28, 30, 32, and 35-year-old women... it's only a number. If there is a mutual attraction and you know how to hold a conversation with a sexual vibe (flirt) it doesn't matter how old she is.

As far as sex on the first date goes ... once again you’re looking at this like online dating and real life dating are so different. The only difference between the two is the way you meet/approach them. You have the safety of hiding behind a computer screen and the ability to think about a response before you reply. When you actually meet this woman in person all of that shit goes out the window.

Don't worry about having sex on the first date. If it happens it happens but just bc you met her online doesn't mean she's immediately going to drop her pants for you. The exception being you met her on Craig’s list or she's already told you she is looking for an intimate encounter. Forget about the whole "ONLINE" dating stigma and treat her like you would treat any girl you’re attracted to.

The sex part will take care of itself. Relax man. Just focus on having a good time and enjoying yourself.

The main worry is usually nothing to talk about. I'd say the standard online dating things apply - meet somewhere public (don't want crazies knowing where you live!) and have an exit route if being in the same room as her makes you want to stab your brain through your eye sockets. Drink dates combined with some sort of activity such as pool are the best I think, activity makes it easier for the conversation to get rolling and you're not locked in for a good hour like you would be for a dinner date. Though I dunno how interested a 32 year old would be in going to a divey bar to play pool.

Sex on the first date is probably more likely from online dates than anywhere else, I think. By the time a woman is agreeing to the date with you've already weeded out people who aren't interested or attracted. Basically, online dating is an exercise in Not Fucking Things Up.

If your date is at all savvy, she's probably not expecting a serious relationship out of an online date with a much younger guy either. It's always worth stating your intentions though, you can honestly say you're just looking for something fun and casual without being a dick about it.

Older women are awesome. Don't worry about the conversation. They have more life experience and tend to have plenty of interesting things to talk about. They are always more direct and don't bullshit around so just have fun, be yourself and don't be overly gamey. Older women also tend to know what they want so if there's a mutual attraction the rest should take care of itself.

(08-24-2011 04:13 AM)BrB Wrote:  Has anyone ever told you age is just a number? I'm 24 and have been with 28, 30, 32, and 35-year-old women... it's only a number. If there is a mutual attraction and you know how to hold a conversation with a sexual vibe (flirt) it doesn't matter how old she is.

I thought the same for a long time, but it's simply not true. Your age is incredibly important for how you appear to other people and how you relate to them. Saying age doesn't matter is like that other PUA myth that looks don't matter and some ugly nerd can bang models if only his game is good enough.

Not saying, it makes anything impossible, but very often your lifestyles and goals in life aren't compatible and you generally relate different to people of different age. I also learned that it often matters how life experience and character change over a few years. Obviously, I didn't want to hear that when I was 20.

I've found that age doesn't matter if the guy is younger until you've been dating for a while. Once you've dated them for 2-3 months, being younger than her begins to become an significant issue. Not to say that it can't work, but it does matter at some point.

But until then, enjoy it. Older women are fun.

(08-25-2011 03:05 PM)Extropy Wrote:  I thought the same for a long time, but it's simply not true. Your age is incredibly important for how you appear to other people and how you relate to them. Saying age doesn't matter is like that other PUA myth that looks don't matter and some ugly nerd can bang models if only his game is good enough.

Not saying, it makes anything impossible, but very often your lifestyles and goals in life aren't compatible and you generally relate different to people of different age. I also learned that it often matters how life experience and character change over a few years. Obviously, I didn't want to hear that when I was 20.

I get what your saying with maturity, life experience, lifestyle, character, and blah blah blah... obviously if you are older you are more experienced and have a greater grasp of who you are as a person. I am a completely different person at 24 then when I was 22. So I can only imagine where I will be a few years from now.

When you say "Your age is incredibly important for how you appear to other people and how you relate to them", this is very true but in terms of meeting women and sleeping with them this does not matter IMO at all. Obviously if you dress like a teenage boy and act like a frat guy it will make you appear a certain way to an older woman but in my case many times these women have no idea how old I am and when they ask I make them guess and they usually guess around 28. It's different for everybody but I don't agree with you. It all depends on the people involved. Maybe for you age matters but for me it has never been and will never be an issue.

I stand by the belief that age doesn't matter in the short term. I completely agree with Mark on after a few months it does matter. In terms of a long-term relationship and sustaining a relationship age and lifestyle/goals matter. I was talking in terms of the original question from this post. He said he just wants to get laid a few times and wants nothing serious. I believe as far as the short term... age does not matter at all if there is a mutual attraction and you know how to have a conversation.

Thanks for all the responses gents. She ended up flaking.