I've got some leads on that, but when do you know you're deep enough in the rabbit hole?
@shadow, Flow & Traindom
About the "Can I ride on your back home". It's just the last thing that happened. It didn't really get me and it could be funny but maybe his gesticulation was affected by the alcohol which made it sound really serious. And I had just 3 hours of sleep that night, so I was very irritated already. That could explain why I considered that offensive. I just remembered the feeling I got back then and now I rerender that situation (having slept enough), you're right, it's stupid.
But this particular (bad) example is not the point. I've heard explicitly offensive provocative stuff thrown at me, which makes my inner temperature rise. It's really not that I'm even trying to buy the "alpha" stuff, on the contrary. I was wondering about that desire to punch them which is probably an indicator of some deeper issues.
I always try to relativate myself and certainly can laugh with my mistakes/shortcomings. To the degree of sometimes total self-doubt. People that know me would call me anything but a "alpha macho man".
Quote:I can somewhat relate to him. I'm currently undergoing my last year in highschool and I still get harassed by freshmen and sophomores (what the hell haha) even though I'm huge compare to them!
I don't know if this is it, but is it the idea that these guys think they can do this to you? The fact that in their heads, they went, "Hey look at this guy. Imma fuck with him." That if it were some huge sonofabitch that they wouldn't dare even breath in his direction, let alone diss him? I can definitely relate.
You nailed the feeling for a part. A "what, do I look like some loser"-thought could pop up. And that's a confidence issue. But it's not all of it.
I can't see the exact context of the situations you describe. But as I understand it, it's just some young mini-dudes trying to mess with you, they're not seriously thinking "imma fuck with him" (else they must be really stupid). It's just playing. And I don't think I would be offended by that. Kinda irritated yeah, but they're just mini-dudes unseriously messing around.
And now I think I know what kind of people irritates me really. It's people who seriously think they're totally the shit (while they really aren't), better than anyone around them and like to let the whole world know it by disrespecting random people. You could describe it as extreme fake alpha behavior. It just get the worst in me and I don't know why. It's like what militant atheistic darwinists must feel for conservative creationists who shout "creation rulez" from the rooftops. You want to tell them the "truth", in a way they would definitely remember.
And now I get the mechanism
, it is like:
1. Some (optionally drunk) asshole says some explicitly provocative shit to you (or a friend) / behaves in a provocative disrespectful way.
2. What I think then is that he thinks he is so much better than me and anyone around, he thinks he's the total supa-dupa flying circus golden shit and everyone (or at least me) must know and acknowledge it.
3. And then I wonder why this (probably drunk) piece of shit thinks he owns the world, how he dares insulting me/my friends and why.
4. Then the "what, do I look like a loser? I'm not. Am I?" thought may pop up, especially if it was addressed to you. That's probably the self-doubt and insufficient confidence talking. Is this why one could take it personal?
5. The last two thoughts (the first of the two alone would do it too) feed the itch to "prove" something to the SOB.
- Of course I can't know what he really thinks, although in some wanna-be-gangsta-cases and/or really explicit provocations out of nowhere it's pretty clear. And in some cases it may be he didn't really mean it like it came out of him. Maybe it was supposed to be funny or something. That's probably another thing why one should go with option A, relativate the situation and not feel offended. But still, my hands start itching if I interpret it that way.
Is this mechanism-analysis deep enough in the rabbit hole?
Do I have an ego issue, considering the mechanism described?
How must one handle/control/eliminate that feeling?
How should one react to this shit? Probably you should at least say back some funny stuff as a counter-strike? Although this could escalate things if misinterpreted/not done properly or the dude is really a hard-ass.
Do I have some confidence issue or is it just a "normal", what one could call, Militant Darwinist syndrome which some people have? Does anyone have the same?