Hello all, first post!

I've got a friend zone question I'd like opinions on:

I've known this woman for about 5-6 years, always considered her a good friend, kind of had a crush on her off-and-on. She got divorced three years ago and is the same age as me. (33)

We've been emailing each other a lot lately -- I mentioned I'm taking a trip up around where she lives and she suggested I come visit and stay for a week at her apartment. She's currently single and is always stressing about how's she's "lonely" and whatnot in emails between us.

So... I haven't decided if I'm going to visit her or not yet. Is it worth it if I do decide to visit making a move and possibly wrecking the friendship completely? ...or should I just treat it that I'm in the friend zone and keep it as that & move on?

only you can make this decision. There's a chance she'd be interested, and a chance she wouldn't. You just have to weigh how much you want a relationship with her vs how much you would be bothered by losing her friendship.

Thanks for the advice, Jon.

Typically (for me anyway) a friend zone "let's do lunch if you are in town" would be expected, not a "you can stay at my apartment for a few days". Maybe I'm misreading it completely, though I mentioned this to a buddy of mine, which was followed by raised eyebrows and a "so you shacking up w/her?" ...lol

I don't see why it needs to be one way or the other. Feel it out, see if there is chemistry and make ur move.

I'd say there's a chance she's into it but its not a sure thing. Worth going for it if you are really interested. I personally have been in a similar situation years ago and ended up dating the girl for over a year.

Shadow - there's a chance that when he shows up its obvious it's on, but there's also a chance that he won't know unless he makes a move. That said, it isn't guaranteed to blow up the friendship if you go for it and get rejected.

It sounds to me as if this may be a signal. The whole friend zone thing is tricky and has to be felt out as you go along. Have you been flirting? Is there sexual tension sometimes?

As far as "wrecking the friendship," goes. If one of you expressing sexual interest ruins a six-year friendship, then it wasn't a very strong friendship to begin with.

If you're interested, I say go for it.

I think you should visit her either way. I am currently in a somewhat similar situation, I am vacationing to new york and staying with a friend I've known for a while. we never hooked up because she was in a longtime relationship but we're both single and she's shown signs of attraction because she drunk dials me and invited me there.

I'd say go, be playful and fun and trust your instincts!!