This is a very important lesson I learned from all you guys who verbally kicked my ass on the forum. Thanks by the way, I neeeded it. After reading my prior two threads without my ego of always wanting to be right, I deleted them. Why? I realized they were....well...STUPID. Looking back, I realized I was trying to backwards rationalize why I had been so good at the club that night. I guess I wanted to make it sound empowering, profound and new, and somehow came up with the bizarre mindset that was flamed in the other two threads. I didn't really believe it myself, but as soon as people started challenging it, for some reason all my years in debate club back in High School kicked in. So I started defending the weak mindset I came up with. The thing is I broke the number one rule of debate. Don't argue the WRONG side just for the sake of argument. Yes, I admit I was wrong. How's that for being vulnerable Mark

Anyways, I went out last night feeling good again. I chilled with my friends for a while but then went to work. This particular club was crowded as hell. You could honestly barely move around. I warmed up by talking to a five set. Four girls and a big gay guy. Cracking jokes about how crowded it was. Two of the girls were attractive but I knew the set wasn't going to go anywhere and that I might seem them later. But, honestly i wanted a hotter girl. Then, one of my black friends who's excellent at dance floor game called me over. He was already dancing with this smoking latina girl and put me on her friend. This girl was the epitome of gorgeous. But, i wasn't nervous at all, I was already feeling good. My wing kinda pushed me on her, so he could isolate his chick. It coulda been awkward, but it wasn't. I joked about her trying to sandwich my wing on the dance floor. She giggled and said she wasn't. I introduced myself and we danced face to face at first. I did some goofy stuff, then the Dougie song came on and I said I'd teach her how to do it ( I'm a beast at the Dougie ). Man could she move, and to me there's nothing sexier then a girl that can dance. That song only lasted about 30 seconds ( you know how DJ's are). My wing was freak dancing the shit out of his girl. I thought, "what the hell" and took her hand, spun her around and had her grind her ass on me. ( This is actually the standard of dancing in my age range). After dancing a while, I wanted to move around and get some rapport from her so we wouldn't get bored of each other. Told her, "let's go outside, it's hot as tits in here". She agreed. I was thinking about taking her by the hand, but I didn't end up doing it. Luckily though, while we were squeezing through the crowd, I showed her i could be protective by moving ppl out of the way politely, and holding the small of her back keeping her close. When we got outside, I could see her face more clearly. Guys this girl was easily a 9. Very exotic looking and seductive, but there was innocence in her hazel eyes. I asked in a silly way if she was Chinese. She was born in Argentina and just graduated High School (her body was quite developed for being so young, but honestly I wasn't surprised about her age).

The rest was pretty boring. I teased her about her high school because it was in my old high school district. We comfort talked, I asked her about her goals and aspirations with light teases here and there (it seems like young girls love the fun vibe). Pulled her back on the dance floor, more seductive dancing. When it was time to leave, my wing and I tried to get the girls to go back w/ us but they came with a big group and so did we. I got her number and kissed her on the forehead, told her to pinky swear and come visit me at my school. She did. We text back and forth that night and my phone games solid from calling party lines when I was younger lol. ( I wanted to call her, but decided it might be a bad idea)

What was my mindset that night? i honestly haven't a clue. I just felt good and out of my head. It could be because I did what i love earlier that day regarding music. It could be that I felt this way all along and just needed to take action and stop BS'ing. Whatever it was, I know one thing now. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

PS. I'm moving into my place tomorrow! No more logistical porblems, yeeeaaahhh!

Hey man first i guess i have to Congratulations!!! are in order. Why you may ask, for being a man. Correction, being a mature man. One of the greatest signs of maturity is the willingness and capability to admit your wrong, and even better to justify your reasoning for remaining so steadfast in your ways. Just through this basic revelation, it shows your growing and may you keep growing and excel in all aspects of life ( though you seem to be getting better at pick up so kudos.)

1) Count your blessing for getting your own place, i still have to wait 2 more weeks till i go to schoool but i'm counting of the days.

2) I apologize for not being able to give you advice, you seeem to be further along than i am at this point so my advice might just bring you back, but it seems like your learning at a great pace. But i've found since discovering this blog and reading mark's post that i've been the most succesful, relative to the past of course, when i am out of my head and i let me natural personality shine. You seem to be the same way, " What was my mindset that night? i honestly haven't a clue. I just felt good and out of my head."

3) You might not be expecting it but since we're relative the same age, maybe you could help me with something. I've found that most girls our age 18 & 19 aren't really into having conversations. And when i go out i'm not really into that as well but how deep would you say the level of emotional connection with the girl is. In my oppinion, its pretty basic just wanted to see if thats what you were dealing with as well?

4) Lastly hope all goes well ya argentinian babe, but the way you set it up, seems all is going well? Why did you kiss her on the forehead and not lips. Maybe the situation wasn't right but though a forehead kiss is more protective it isn't as intimate as a make-out. Just wondering your reasoning behind that..

haha. SNAL as in Same Night Anal Lay?

Good stuff. Keep going. BTW, you can totally be a romantic and get girls. Assert your desires and you'll be fine.

Good stuff man, I like your new mindset. And congrats on getting your first place, enjoy it!

@ Playmaker,

Well done, sounds like a good night.

@ Poet

I wouldn't say 18 or 19 year old girls aren't interested in having deep conversations, many of them certainly are. What they aren't insterested in is having those conversations at the bar, at least not until they are already seriously into you.

Quote:4) Lastly hope all goes well ya argentinian babe, but the way you set it up, seems all is going well? Why did you kiss her on the forehead and not lips. Maybe the situation wasn't right but though a forehead kiss is more protective it isn't as intimate as a make-out. Just wondering your reasoning behind that..

You're thinking too much, Poet. Pickup is not a strategic game you play at home. These are just things in the moment based on feelings in the moment and probably have no reasoning behind them.

Thanks guys.

@Poet: Yes young girls are into conversation, they're girls. As far as how deep the convo gets, I guess it depends. I was touching and escalating on this girl before we said much to each other. Just feel the girl out. Once i took her outside, I had to open her up by telling her some of my goals and all that and having her relate. Then, i found some qualities I liked about her and complimented her on it. No different then I would have done with an older girl.

i think though, because we're young we haven't experienced as much yet, and so we don't have as much to talk about. But, we all have dreams, hobbies, and passions no matter how old we are and as long as you focus on the emotions behind the deep rapport, you'll do fine.

PS. Yo Poet promise me as soon as college starts, or even before that, start chattin up girls. It's easy bro. Keep me updated.

Hahah will do Playmaker. Thanks for the advice, i just read over my posts and yea i'm way to analytical abou tthis shit.

@ Jon- Thanks. I was pretty ambiguous with my statement. I've meant at the night scene it's a little difficult to talk due to outside stimuli but yea during the day or at a quieter venue, your right in the sense that girls are just girls.

@Playmaker - Hey when school starts, i solemnly swear that i wll be up to no good! But keep us updated on college; though i'm sure you'll kill it!

Much better. Good on you for being able to admit you were wrong. You'll end up where you want to be quicker that way anyway. Keep going man.

(08-16-2011 03:27 PM)Poet145x Wrote:  @ Jon- Thanks. I was pretty ambiguous with my statement. I've meant at the night scene it's a little difficult to talk due to outside stimuli but yea during the day or at a quieter venue, your right in the sense that girls are just girls.

No worries. You are right, it's the environment. If you want, once a girl seems into you at a club, you can suggest going somewhere quieter. What I find is that college girls are MORE interested than older girls in having deep conversations, but it's all about context.