Hey dude,

It's always hard to tell from text, but I'm not sure from what you said if there was attraction there. in my experience, if a girl is into you,, she's not gonna walk away from the interaction for no good reason with no contact info exchanged, say she's coming back, then not. Good that you were persistent but in this case opening other girls might have been a better use of your time.

Agreed. But remember that was very early in the night. After that point, she came back and asked me to move/responded to my moving her every time. Also, in this case she was out to get laid. More than anything I needed to not fuck up. Basically minimal attraction was necessary and I think I had that much. Feel free to disagree/explain.

Not sure from the text, I guess you would have mentioned if you had but did you kiss her? I'd be pretty sketched out if someone tried to come home with me who I hadn't got as far as kissing with while still out.

I've got to give you props for putting yourself out there and being persistent but I think you were trying to push too far too fast with a girl who isn't comfortable or unsure about if she's into you. There's really something to be said for leaving them wanting more, you know?

While I think the initial interaction was good you disregarded a lot of signs that she didn't want to come home with you. (Asking if you had work the next day, telling two stops to the taxi driver, saying no when you asked her to leave with you!). Regardless of your intentions this comes off as fairly sketchy behaviour from someone you don't really know. I think you did a good job of making her feel more comfortable in the taxi but by then it was probably a lost cause, and I don't think she'd have come home with you even if you did had taken a longer route.

In the future, if a girl is stalling in a 'I dont want to' sort of way rather than a 'Oh no, I really shouldn't *giggle*' sort of way, it's best to get some contact info, try and connect more and then set up a future date. Memorise the following: 'You know, you're right, I should really be fresh for the morning. Hey, it was really loud in here tonight. Do you want to get a drink somewhere we can actually have a conversation in the week? Here's my number.'

Ok, so a girl who is really looking to go home with somebody will typically not require a huge amount of social comfort. As long as you chat a bit, it can often can be enough. So to what extent did you guys talk? Also, if shes attracted to you but doesn't feel a connection, she will in many cases try to initiate that connection by asking a lot of questions. In my experience, after an hour or so I should get some positive feedback from a girl who is attracted to me, like she should actually be moving things forward as well. Maybe I actually am not pushing certain interactions far enough, but thats just my experience.

@ firstaidkit. The kissing thing can go either way, depending on the girl. I have met girls who definitely wanted to go home with me, and did, but clearly were not interested in kissing in the club. Some girls hate kissing in public. Thats one of those things I just find has to be guaged based on how the woman reacts.

Anyway, I agree with the rest of your point though. she was sending pretty clear signals that she did not want to go home. The move there is to get the number and move on.

@Jon, I wasn't sure if that was just the norm in my social circle or in general so thanks for your input.

@shadow, some girls even if they are out on their own aren't really looking to get laid, especially if they're seriously into the music or the dancing. While it was frequently accompanied by a large helping of MDMA, there's been quite a few times that I've been so zoned out in the filthy filthy bassline that I've completely blanked guys I was interested in earlier in the night. I always felt a bit bad about that afterwards...

My gut instinct is that some sliver of emotional connection would have sealed this. Yes she wasn't super super attracted, but I don't think it was needed in this case. I highly doubt a reasonably sober girl will try and get into the same cab as me if she had zero interest. Just doesn't mesh up. I think the very same assumption that made me persistent (that she was out to get laid), set off her anti slut defense. I was so nonchalant that it was going to happen that she felt like she was a slut.

I don't think she had zero interest, just not enough to want to sleep with you straight away. And from your FR, she did not 'try and get in the cab with you', you followed her out when she left, got in the same cab, and she immediately told the driver you were going to seperate destinations. In my opinion you would have got a lot closer to sleeping with her if you took another night to get her more comfortable with you.

Anyway, it takes a lot of guts to get up and approach like a champ so well done on that.