Say, you are dating a girl and sleep with her from time to time but it's all casual nothing relationship like. Then she has lots of hot friends. Can you hit on them or even date them? As long as I am dating her, it would be pretty silly to hit on one of her friends, right? Even if you have success, you probably won't like a girl's character if she is dating someone her friend is dating.

Should I try to just get to know all her friends and then do something casual with them like going for coffee as long as I am still sleeping with the original girl? How do I avoid getting put into the friend zone without really hitting on her friends?

So far, I just befriend and small talk with her friends. Of course, most of her friends you just small talk with and a few of them you get to know better.

I assume having slept with one of her friends makes a long-term relationship harder but casual sex easier?!

Flirt with them but don't do anything. The fact that you're "off limits" right now will actually keep you out of the friend zone, since you were never perceived to be available in the first place.

+1

Hooked up with girls/friends I knew for the majority of my 1.5 year relationship and never acted in that time. I just set the vibe after we'd broken up that things were different. But flirting harmlessly for the last year or more didn't harm me.

Plus, if you do get friend zoned, by some of them, it's not that bad, since it's not like they'll see you as an orbiter. You're a guy who is vouched for as cool enough to date by their friend. Hot female friends who already view you as in the league to date their friends are a very good thing. This is why friends' girlfriends are great for meeting new girls.

(08-06-2011 03:55 PM)Mark Wrote:  The fact that you're "off limits" right now will actually keep you out of the friend zone, since you were never perceived to be available in the first place.

Can you please explain the dynamic behind this more?

(08-10-2011 11:14 AM)machiavelli Wrote:  

(08-06-2011 03:55 PM)Mark Wrote:  The fact that you're "off limits" right now will actually keep you out of the friend zone, since you were never perceived to be available in the first place.

Can you please explain the dynamic behind this more?

Girls pretty quickly lose interest in guys who won't make a move because they think the guys are either not interested or too chicken shit, both of which are turn offs for women. If you have a girlfriend, it's not a reflection of either of those qualities if you don't make a move.

I always thought the friend zone was more about familiarity killing attraction, which would be the same no matter the source of the familiarity.

No, why would familiarity kill attraction? It's not like women aren't familiar with their boyfriends.

If you are boring, lame, or overall suck as a person, then a girl becoming familiar with you would kill attraction. Also, girls get bored with some guys through familiarity, ie. if they learn everything about you too fast and get bored. Also, sometimes your bound to say something stupid to a girl that may kill attraction. Don't know if u guys are even talking about this though, I didn't read most of the thread. I just wanna get laid 2 be honest.....

(08-10-2011 03:06 PM)Jon Wrote:  No, why would familiarity kill attraction? It's not like women aren't familiar with their boyfriends.

Lack of mystery, seeing the flaws, etc... (And I think familiarity DOES kill attraction in a lot of relationships, which is part of why they fizzle or linger on only out of complacency and inertia.)