Hey all,
What are you thoughts of pursuing Housemates? I had been under the impression that they were off-limits, but maybe that's not true?

I feel I need privacy at home, and it's not like I have trouble meeting girls, but the odd thing is that this one girl and I have a good connection, and we're doing all these things together and having fun, but I'm keeping the seduction very light because I feel it's a little weird to hit on your housemates. But I'm getting friend-zoned now, obviously, so I need to make up my mind on this.

Actually maybe it's too late? She said she thinks we would be "a pretty dysfunctional couple." But I don't think that. It's working ok so far, I just haven't pushed the kino very far. Could it be this is just a rationalization for the fact she is losing attraction? Or maybe it's true and I'm just clueless?

In any case, this is very interesting to me.

What would you guys do? Talking about such things with her seems wrong. Like we're potentially talking rationally about something that can't be rationalized.

Gotta love em.

Lived with attractive housemates who I didn't get with (or try), and got propositioned by a less attractive housemate, so I'm not gonna tell you what to/ not to do, but this is how it is.

Windows - with housemates, sometimes they open, sometimes they close, but neither are forever. It depends on a lot of things. There were a lot of times I felt I was "friendzoned", but then one later admitted she wanted to kiss me during that time, or I was "friendzoned", but we were both chilling at home drunk and some sexual tension came from nowhere.

Coupled with the last paragraph, thinking about it as "friendzoned" is a very unproductive mindset especially with a housemate. Like I said, you can't always expect to be sexual or "on" with someone you'll live with for a while and see everyday.

If you've never had a friends with benefits relationship before, I wouldn't recommend trying a housemate out. Expect her to take guys home and for her to see you taking girls home. For sure.

If that seems like a lot to handle, try a normal FWB with someone else, keep things open with your housemate, and see how things progress naturally. Right now, it sounds like she's got the pants on and you're reeling for a recovery, but you're not sure of what you want or how to proceed.

Just to drive the point home - who cares if she's "losing attraction" or not? Don't approach your roommate like a linear pickup because that's just not how it is. You'll know when her periods are and how her shit smells like, and she'll know similar things about you.

If you've had FWBs before, try it out. If you haven't, don't. Both options involve getting rid of the linear pickup approach when it comes to her.

Thanks fireform,your post alone can explain a lot of frustration about women.Maybe we must put aside the whole linear pick up mindset(omg she lost attraction I m dead,let's forget her at all), with women we meet regularly.

Quote:Maybe we must put aside the whole linear pick up mindset(omg she lost attraction I m dead,let's forget her at all), with women we meet regularly.

Feel it. The constant linear mindset (losing attraction/ missing windows = fuck) does generate a lot of stress. Yes, not useful to have around roommates or girls you see all the time, unless you two are alone and she's clawing at you and you want it then and there.

On the other hand, with cold approaches and girls you'll know for 5 minutes, the linear mindset is pretty much all you have. In this case, missing windows/losing attraction is a very legitimate problem.

The trick is not mixing the two up - buildings habits for one without carrying all of it over into the other.

Yeah. That was the idea at first, and then I started to not be so ok with it when caught in a down phase, obviously.

Btw, what you're implying is that missed opportunities with women we do not see regularly would not be really that big of a deal if we got to see them again often. That the date mindset where time is limited is what creates stress, not female psychology.

So it seems you do agree with not talking so much to her about her statement of our potential "dysfunctional relationship..." it feels a bit similar to having a serious discussion when LMR comes along, ie not really a great idea.

keep a flirtatious vibe with her, connect with her sometimes, bring other girls home, walk around the house naked, etc. That should help.

Also, if i were you I'd role play with her. She said something about you two having a "dysfunctional relationship". Go with it and tease her about breaking up with her and shit like that.

DO NOT DO IT. DO NOT DO IT. DO NOT DO IT.

Hope I stressed my point enough there. I lived with 3 girls in an apartment junior year of college, hooked up with two of them. Sure, at first its great, you'll have someone to constantly to be with. But, you have to realize you're around that person all the time. And one of two things will happen, the other person will get feelings/get jealous...or you will get develop feelings or get jealous when they find someone. There's very little upside to the situation. It doesn't always play out like that Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis movie.

Ultimately, its probably the best idea for you to use that energy and motivation to find someone you don't live with. Then again, someone told me this same exact advice before moving in with 3 girls and I still ended up getting balls deep in two of them, so take this advice with a grain of salt. If you do it..just be prepared for the repercussions.

The PUA community got at least one thing very right: have an abundance mentality. There are millions of attractive women out there in the world, why go for this one? You say you have a good connection, but from the rest of what you've said it doesn't sound like you're set on having a relationship with her. If you think you really like this girl and are willing to jeopardize your living situation, then I would encourage you to go for it. On the other hand, if it's just that a convenient option looks attractive then I would strongly advise you to just back off. Funnily enough though, in my experience guys who ask this question are actually already pretty set on what they're going to try and do. So let us know how it all turns out!