(08-04-2011 10:07 AM)fckd Wrote:  @ shadow: No, I'm not looking for sympathy. I could care less. This wasn't a serious thread. I'm not really gonna give up. I hate people who bitch and moan; I just wanted to see what everyone would have to say if I truly felt like I had hit rock bottom and there was no hope for me. Pathetic thread? Yes. Pathetic responses? No. I appreciate the input from you guys. Although I didn't really learn anything new from your comments, each post has motivated me just a little bit more towards my goal. Thanks.

That's really weird man.

@fckd Yea, I don't think I'll be responding to your posts anymore.

Quote:That's really weird man.

Yes.

Fckd,

Aside from the technical aspects of your approaches that Jon asks for (and that you should give if you want to improve), emotional intelligence may be a big factor that plays a part in your stagnation as well.

Don't mean to be a dick, but look at it this way:

You posted what looked liked a plea "to see how the guys on the forum would react". Every response to you has been well intentioned, and all the posters put effort in, some even opened themselves up. This took thought and effort out of a genuine desire to help you, and your final response is dismissive, or neutral at best ("didn't really learn anything new, but thanks anyway").

Now, you've possibly angered some on the forum. For sure, some will just stop helping you straight up. I didn't put effort in replying to your first post, but I'd react negatively if I did.

Put in another way, if these posters were all girls, they would have slapped you by now. If you couldn't see something like this happening, then this definitely plays out in your interactions with women. Translated, girls you talk to may think you're either unappreciative, don't listen, are playing games, or that something is a bit off.

Aside from Jon' terrific advice of posting exactly where your sticking point is, I would say learn how to listen as well, and learn what your communication communicates. Otherwise, I don't see why the guys on this forum are entitled to listen at all.

I'll say this. In all of my years, I've noticed that attitude = success. Always. Guys with shitty, dismissive attitudes are always the one's blowing up about how they never improve and toil away for years. Guys with positive, humble and optimistic attitudes always get there eventually. Sometimes it takes them a while, but they all get there.

(08-05-2011 04:24 AM)Mark Wrote:  I'll say this. In all of my years, I've noticed that attitude = success. Always. Guys with shitty, dismissive attitudes are always the one's blowing up about how they never improve and toil away for years. Guys with positive, humble and optimistic attitudes always get there eventually. Sometimes it takes them a while, but they all get there.

I think shitty and dismissive attitude is HUGE self esteem issue. The problem is that these people self esteem was so low that they dont even realize their shitty attitude. One day, when they truly hit rock bottom and confront of what they're shameful about, as well as their jealousy issues, they'll become more humble and then they become more likable and down to earth.

(08-05-2011 05:56 AM)Brian Wrote:  

(08-05-2011 04:24 AM)Mark Wrote:  I'll say this. In all of my years, I've noticed that attitude = success. Always. Guys with shitty, dismissive attitudes are always the one's blowing up about how they never improve and toil away for years. Guys with positive, humble and optimistic attitudes always get there eventually. Sometimes it takes them a while, but they all get there.

I think shitty and dismissive attitude is HUGE self esteem issue. The problem is that these people self esteem was so low that they dont even realize their shitty attitude. One day, when they truly hit rock bottom and confront of what they're shameful about, as well as their jealousy issues, they'll become more humble and then they become more likable and down to earth.

It's actually funny that say you that (funny because it's true), because that actually happened to me yesterday morning. I remember waking up and feeling the most depressed I've ever felt in my entire life (because of the pills I took; I'll explain later), just fucking hated everything about myself so much, like all of my insecurities had just blown up all at one time and I cried for the first time since I can't even remember how long ago. But after I slept it off, I had an epiphany, I guess you could say. I started to feel better about myself and started finding reasons why I love myself and all the good things that I've done. I felt so much better throughout the day and still do now. Usually, I feel good, then bad, then good, then bad, for no reasons sometimes. I mean, there was a reason, but the reason was too deep and I never really addressed it and just ignored it for a very long time. I guess the reason all of this happened was because, for the first time in my life (or since I can remember), on Friday night, I felt so good. I popped some thizz that night and every single negative thought and emotion (fear, anger, sadness, etc.) was 100% gone from my body. I acted purely out of love and joy. I just loved everyone and everything. I was so happy just being there, being myself. I was more social than I've ever been. I talked to more people than I can remember. I partied and danced my ass off. I had a lot of fun. I got numbers from 6 girls that I liked. I tried to pull 1 girl right after the party was over, no luck, still felt great, got her number, and am talking to her now, as well as 3 other girls I got numbers from. But even if none of that happened, I still would have felt awesome just because I was doing whatever I wanted to do (nothing stupid, weird, annoying) and nothing was holding me back.

I understand why I made this thread. I'm not sorry about it and I don't regret anything I said. But now that I know why I do stupid shit like this (manipulating others for my own satisfaction) among many other things, I won't do it again here or anywhere else in the world. It all came to me yesterday like I said. If am not acting out of love, then I am not being my genuine self.

And don't feel the need to respond to this post. I just had to express my feelings somewhere and this is the best place for me. I'm sure most of you despise me as a person and that's cool. I understand where you guys are coming from. I don't want to win you over and make you think any different of me.

Love you, guys. Peace out.

dude, nobody despises you, they are living their lives. This drama is entirely in your own head. Nobody else is worrying about it much.

Lol, glad you found that out bro. I wrote that post above because it was exactly the experience i went through.

Now if only my dad can find out about himself and grow from this.

Be happy that you're still super young and were able to discover this about yourself. Some people grow old and die without this growth.

(08-03-2011 10:47 PM)matty Wrote:  Shadows advice is spot on. And Fkd, as an additional anecdote, I was in the same position your in now a few years ago. I was absolutely convinced that girls weren't into me at all, and I was very socially anxious and frustrated because of that belief. Since getting past that, i'm gradually seeing some improvements by just putting myself out there. But like Shadow said, it's a real steep slope for some guys. I remember a few years ago one of my best friends was dating this brain meltingly hot girl. We were all out one night, and she brought her brain meltingly hot friend with her. She was what guys in the old PUA community would refer to as a "solid HB9" ( I prefer just to refer to her as stupidly hot). I was convinced she, like most attractive woman, wouldn't be into me at all, so I didn't talk to her, and ended up leaving the bar early. Come to learn the next time I saw my friend that after I left, she kept asking him "where did your hot friend Matt go". The lesson here is that no matter how bad you think you suck, there's always going to be a minority of woman who like you anyway. When I think back on it, I can count a good number of woman who were into me, but I was so insecure I ignored the signs they were giving out. So put your helmet back on, sack up, and get back out there!

Sorry mate, but she meant me when she said: "Where did you´re hot friend Matt go?"..haha

It's good to hear your attitude and circumstances are becoming more positive. Keep on truckin'