I want to ask a genuine question to all people here provoke so much cold approaches.How 10 (not 50, or 200 hundred)could completely fall out(instant rejection to flakes),when 4/5 warm approaches go far beyond that(speaking for myself here).
I m asking this,because I have too much anxiety yet,for cold approaches,but warm-acquaintances is my "field" for the last year,where I face other issues.(emotional)
So would'nt be better, to ,to encourage people,with few to zero experience,to extend their social circle some how,to let them realize that attraction could actually happen so easy?Its onething that I can't stick it into my brain,even if I experienced it so many times.
You can just go out with your friends,(men and women) and a girl is just into you.I dont know,why I still complicate things,perhaps is my 2 year mental masturbation with P.U.But there are still thoughts in my head that I lack something,I can't get the girl,and I m not sure if just go out approaching women,will help me get it over.

This is by the far the most interesting thread on this forum right now.

Couple of things I want to chip in with (and they may have already been said in different forms but I think they are hugely important).

Out of leauge girls: They are out your leauge. If you cant speak to them like normal people then they are. If you condition yourself (via overload of experience) then you will handle that fear of 'messing up' and be normal.

Volume of approaches: Its different for everyone but I think time is more important than volume. An approach during each day for 4 weeks is better than bursts of approaches on a Saturday night when your tipsy.

If your going to be outcome dependant just change your focus to the outcome being ticking the calendar every day when you approach. 2-3 months of daily approaches will change your head a lot. In a wonderful way. And... like poker... you have to play a hand to even be in for the chance of winning. You cant make money playing one perfect hand. Play some practice hands first and get a feel for the game. In my experience if you only want to date and have sex and relationships with decent girls (and not get hung up on banging club party girls every weekend) then thats the best course of action.

Oh by the way... your not learning anything on this forum you dont already know... until you do that first approach. Once thats done you have material to work with. :-)

(07-31-2011 07:44 PM)Symor Wrote:  I want to ask a genuine question to all people here provoke so much cold approaches.How 10 (not 50, or 200 hundred)could completely fall out(instant rejection to flakes),when 4/5 warm approaches go far beyond that(speaking for myself here).
I m asking this,because I have too much anxiety yet,for cold approaches,but warm-acquaintances is my "field" for the last year,where I face other issues.(emotional)
So would'nt be better, to ,to encourage people,with few to zero experience,to extend their social circle some how,to let them realize that attraction could actually happen so easy?Its onething that I can't stick it into my brain,even if I experienced it so many times.

I don't know what you really mean by "warm approaches". It could have two meanings. 1) Approaching people in your social circle, in the periphery of your social circle, or getting introduced to friends of friends. 2) Warm Approaches that follow approach invitations/strong IOIs by strangers.

Regarding 1): There are pro and cons for social circle game. The best so-called "natural" I know does only social circle game. But there are some people who just don't have enough attractive women in their social circle. There will always be a limit in quantity and quality. You don't have that limit, if you do cold approaches.

Regarding 2): I can only speak for myself here, but I have never got an approach invitation by an attractive woman in my whole life.

Regarding cold approaches: If you have a lot of practice and experience and worked on your sticking points consequently, out of 10 street/park cold approaches at least 5-6 should hook well, and at least 2 should result into dates/instant dates (given you only approach girls who are significantly more attractive than yourself). This is a realistic ratio I know from myself and also what I have heared from other guys.

But in order to gain the skill-set required for this, you have to pass through a ton of rejections in a row as a beginner. There is no way to avoid this (in my opinion).


GeeCee is definitely right with his last sentence. I would even go a bit further and say: You can only understand what all this Pick Up stuff is about if you consistently practice it in field.

Warm approach I mean,"social circle".

(07-31-2011 11:42 PM)General G Wrote:  But in order to gain the skill-set required for this, you have to pass through a ton of rejections in a row as a beginner. There is no way to avoid this (in my opinion).

This pile of rejection,can help you pass over your personal issues with women?I havent done many cold approaches,and very few of them were during the day,but I maybe prefer the safety of the warm approach.
She wont turn you down so badly and cruel.And will definately give you enough chances,to say that you 've tried.

Warm approaches are a good way to build confidence.

Whether those early rejections help you or not depends on how you process them. The reason a small minority of guys approach 1,000 times and never improve is because they're never processing their rejections correctly. They don't take an honest look at how they presented themselves and what they're doing wrong.

If you are able to be painfully honest about why you get rejected and then make adjustments accordingly, then yeah, you'll improve very quickly.

But there's no avoiding rejection in the long-run. Might as well get used to it ASAP.

(07-31-2011 07:44 PM)Symor Wrote:  I want to ask a genuine question to all people here provoke so much cold approaches.How 10 (not 50, or 200 hundred)could completely fall out(instant rejection to flakes),when 4/5 warm approaches go far beyond that(speaking for myself here).
I m asking this,because I have too much anxiety yet,for cold approaches,but warm-acquaintances is my "field" for the last year,where I face other issues.(emotional)
So would'nt be better, to ,to encourage people,with few to zero experience,to extend their social circle some how,to let them realize that attraction could actually happen so easy?Its onething that I can't stick it into my brain,even if I experienced it so many times.
You can just go out with your friends,(men and women) and a girl is just into you.I dont know,why I still complicate things,perhaps is my 2 year mental masturbation with P.U.But there are still thoughts in my head that I lack something,I can't get the girl,and I m not sure if just go out approaching women,will help me get it over.

A few things.

If you are getting decent responses from women in your social circle, chances are you won't have 1000 consecutive blow outs. The guys who get that reaction tend to be socially awkward in all situations(Mark, would you agree with this?).

Here's the advantage of cold approach - if you have little experience, it's understandable that you are reluctant to pull the trigger with girls in your social circle. You don't have a lot of confidence and you don't want a bad rep. Cold approach lets you make mistakes in an environment where it won't come back to bite you.

Another thing is, in reality the volume of girls you will meet in warm approach is low, especially if you are out of college. I would LOVE it if I had a social circle where I met a few new hot girls a week, but in reality I don't think that's realistic - and I actually do have a good social circle for hot girls. It's just that you don't have tons of new people churning through.