(07-27-2011 01:29 PM)shadow Wrote: I have actually had the best month of my dating life. 4 dates. All cold approach. 1 makeout. 1 was an insta-date pull to my house, where my lack of sexual experience meant I couldn't escalate properly. Super hot girl. The makeout came with a larger girl, but I was attracted to her smile etc. First date, brought her home. Made out. Given that I've had sex once in my life, all this should be a bit deal to me.
It "should" be a big deal. But how did you feel
during these experiences? Did you enjoy them?
Is it possible that you are not approaching, dating, making out because you desire to do just that, but in stead do it because you're "supposed" to do it as a PUA, or supposed to do it on your road to awesomeness or whatever?
Are you making out with girls you do not feel very strong attraction for, just to get experience or to get "closes"?
Or is it the case that you do not fully enjoy the process of dating, escalating, kissing and so on, but in stead second-guess yourself every step of the way? That you always wonder "What should I do now?" and feel anxious, and worse, after achieving something, think "What did I do wrong?" and feel all awkward in hindsight or disappointed in hindsight?
Of course you're not going to really enjoy yourself if all this stuff is going through your mind.
For me, I went from a very inexperienced kisser to making out with 8 girls on vacation in a matter of a few weeks. The first few times I kissed a girl, I did not enjoy it at all. In fact, I was confused, disgruntled and anxious; I didn't enjoy it and I didn't know how the fuck to do it right. I thought "Maybe kissing isn't for me." Then, one night, still on that same vacation, I met a cute, blond girl, who was a little shy, sweet and intelligent as well. We talked for hours and eventually had our little romantic adventure, kissing in the streets in Spain. For the first time I felt like I wasn't completely failing at kissing and, moreover, I liked the girl, was attracted to her and felt an emotional connection. It wasn't until then that I enjoyed kissing!
This week I had a bunch of dates. After the first few dates, which didn't lead anywhere, I was tired of them and didn't feel like meeting girls at all. Tonight I had a date with a very chatty blond girl. In the end we made out and it was very hot and we both got very turned on, and now I'm liking it again.
You gotta find a girl you're attracted to and feel a connection with. You may not get to this place until you lose some anxiety and gain some experience, because now you might not be able to just enjoy the moment because there's too much BS in your head. But relax, you'll get there.