Ok, so, I know this is going to sound a little bit like a self-indulgent post - but I'm really kinda concerned and weirded out about what's been going on with my interactions with women lately.

When I first started this stuff out - I would fall in love with a girl that gave me the time of day - let alone fucked me - well before any reasonable person should start developing feelings of love. I would get obsessive, stalkerish, and...well...needy.

After a particularly bad experience, I decided to join the community.

Three years later...my results are changing, and to be honest, are kinda freaking me out.

Last night, I had my third date with a girl I met a couple weeks ago who, post coitus, told me she loved me, started talking about marriage, and telling me how freaked out she was that this was all moving so fast (I agreed with her on that last part).

The problem is, this is the second time this has happened to me in the last 4-5 weeks or so and I think it's starting to become a pattern

Is this something anyone out there has experienced? I just open up emotionally to girls, get them to talk about themselves, tell them what I think is cool about them, fuck them, cuddle, and tell them why I think they're being silly and should be more secure and confident when they tell me about their insecurities. Then they fall in love. No tricks or anything - I'm just being myself - but it's starting to have side effects.

The above pattern has become somewhat routine for me, when I think it's a unique experience for a lot of the girls I meet. Thus, they end up feeling more emotionally attached to me, than I do to them.

I'm not exactly sure what to do about this. It's such a role reversal in my mind, and I feel like a douchebag when a girl likes me a lot more than I like her because I know how much that used to hurt me. I also feel cold when I don't have those feelings that a girl has. Am I being weird or unreasonable? Are my "tactics" malicious? (I don't think they are) - but if not, then what do I do? Do I tell her I don't feel the same way? Do I tell her that I like her a lot but I think we should take things slowly (this is what I did last night after just freezing in panic for a good 2 minutes straight), do I cut back on how much I emotionally connect with a girl in our first couple dates? Do I break up with girls? What do I do? Seriously, I have no experience in this field and it's bothering me.

Brett

I love you.

lol In all seriousness, this kind of boggles my mind. Even if she thinks she loves you after 3 dates, to to think that she said it and did not think that she would come off as a needy psycho is beyond me. Sounds to me like these girls are insecure, thus falling for the first guy to open up and who makes them feel wanted. I would say honesty is the best policy in this kind of situation. Tell her exactly what it is you feel and what your intentions are with her. Even if you have zero desire of ever pursing a relationship with the girl, tell her right then and there. It might hurt her then, but it will be alot better than dragging the situation on further and letting her feelings deepen.

If you are really being yourself and the things you say are honest, then keep doing your thing. If you seek out girls who are more confident in themselves and who have other things going on in their lives, I think you will be less likely to find girls who are going to make you the center of their universe and fall so fast.

(07-27-2011 04:38 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  Even if she thinks she loves you after 3 dates, to to think that she said it and did not think that she would come off as a needy psycho is beyond me. Sounds to me like these girls are insecure, thus falling for the first guy to open up and who makes them feel wanted.

Or...maybe I'm just THAT awesome

Lol, in all seriousness though - ya, I think I just need to find girls who are more secure and have more going on.

Good advice.

P.S. Love you too.