So, two days ago, I finally got laid, thus ending a dry spell that's lasted for years. First off, I need to give a huge shout out to Mark for all the content he's put out on Practical Pickup. I've spent years sucking with woman, and this site has really given me the kick in the ass I needed to start doing something about it, as well as creating a new paradigm when it comes to interacting with these woman. In this case, it was a first date with a girl I was meeting for the first time. Took her to a really unique Rastafarian themed Hookah Bar where they have you take you shoes off and sit on the floor on pillows (hard to describe, but trust me, it's a great atmosphere. Plus, the old me probably would have taken her out for lunch to play it safe . I spent about 4 and a half hours building a STRONG emotional connection with her...holy shit, this vulnerability stuff is awesome! Not only was that the strongest attraction I've EVER had from a girl, but all the escalation, which I used to have trouble with, seemed to take care of itself. And instead of worrying what I should do next, I actually sat there and enjoyed myself. Needless to say, getting her into bed that night pretty much took care of itself. Cheers for all great advice Mark

The downer to all this is were the technical difficulties that followed. You'd think that after everything I've done for my little guy over the years, he wouldn't fail me in my time of need . Not only did it take me a ridiculously long time to get a hard on, but it only stayed hard long enough to fuck her for about a minute, then it went right back down. What is going on her!? Does anyone know if this is normal after a long, several year dry spell? Could whacking off too much be causing the problem? Anxiety? The girl was really understanding about it, and fortunately I was able to compensate for it by doing other things, but it really sucks to finally get laid again only to have my monitor read "failure to launch".

(07-22-2011 06:27 PM)matty Wrote:  Does anyone know if this is normal after a long, several year dry spell? Could whacking off too much be causing the problem? Anxiety? The girl was really understanding about it, and fortunately I was able to compensate for it by doing other things, but it really sucks to finally get laid again only to have my monitor read "failure to launch".

Congrats on ending your dry spell dude. I know when I've had those really long one's you can get really down on yourself which ends up inceasing the dry spell even more. Now that you have ended it... keep working hard and make sure you don't start a new one.

As far as your little problem ... that is all part of the game my friend. It happens to the best of us and always seems to happen at the worst possible times. It happens to me most frequently when using condoms combined with when I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform. Especially in your case after a long dry spell or in my most previous case it's with a really attractive woman who I want to make sure has an amazing time. What I've come to realize is when you relax and treat all women the same without worrying about pleasing her or performing well things tend to work out much better. I know it's easier said then done but nice job connecting with this chick and even getting to the point where you have this type of problem. Just relax, stop masterbating so much, and the rest will take care of itself.

Brent

First off Congrats. The problem may have been nervousness from being with a new girl for the first time. I have also heard that smoking hurts blood flow, so the Hookah Bar may not have helped the situation.

First of all, that's awesome that you're finally getting some success. That's great to hear.

As far as your issue. It's funny, the EXACT same thing happened to me back in 2006. I was coming off of a 18 month dry spell, I had been going out for months and months, finally get a girl into bed and.. wha? Can't get it up. It sucked.

But yeah, the issue is a combination of anxiety and probably too much masturbation/porn. Cut back on the masturbation, and focus on taking your time and enjoying the process with the girl. Don't put any pressure on yourself to perform or go nuts. Should eventually take care of itself.

Congrats on the sex. Same shit happened to me when I was about to lose my virginity. Good thing I got a second chance later on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob=av3e

Thanks guys, good to know i'm not the only one who's had this problem. I actually thought the girl was going to be completely turned off and leave, but she stayed the whole night and actually seemed to enjoy herself despite the launch failure. I'll definitely work on enjoying the process and cutting back on the porn and masturbating.

You're definitely not the only one who has this problem dude, trussst. Haha. But yeah, chances are you had so much built up performance anxiety that it was affecting your 'little guy' negatively. You've got the monkey off your back now, though, so you should be good to go from this point on. The less you think about it, the less it will affect you.

From the girl's perspective - I'd say it's happened to more than 50% of the guys I've slept with at one point or another. Either too much drink/weed or first partner nerves, it's pretty damn common. It's not a big deal, there's plenty to do without a hard dick. Most of the time just taking a breather and just fooling around without the pressure will sort it right out.

Interesting insight FirstAidKit... I suggest lots of foreplay and dirty talk as an antidote.

I had the same issue tonight. Haha. Honestly, still don't know if sex is worth all the trouble that I'm going through for it. My second sexual experience and I still feel so indifferent to the whole thing. Oh well. We'll see.