Lay Report: On...to really on...to really silent
I hit it off with a girl this past week, and am a little surprised at how it went down: she went from super interested to hooking up to not responding to a text. I have a theory or two about why, but I'd love a second opinion...
On Sat night I went to DC to hang out with an old friend of mine. We got to the bar just past 10, with prime time yet to come. While we were having the first drink of the night and catching up, I noticed a petite brunette walk up.
I wasn't that attracted but figured a quick conversation would be a good loosen up for the night to come. On the way to the bar we had walked past what looked like a police raid--there were 4 cars and 2 ambulances down the street--so I chatted her up about that. We talked for about 5 minutes, and then she said she was going to meet her friends upstairs. I wasn't feeling the vibe, so I bid her goodnight and turned back to my friend.
Several minutes later, we've had our warm-up drinks and were about to head upstairs when we ran into the girl from before. Her friends hadn't yet arrived, and the three of us ended up talking. My wingman was stalling and needed to get looser anyway, so I figured it was worth spending a couple minutes. Then...the first of her friends arrived.
This girl was much more my speed: an athletic leggy blond, pretty face, dressed up in a black cocktail dress. She joined us, and names were swapped. I had been talking to her brunette friend Allison, while Brianna (the blond) started talking to my friend.
I still wasn't into Allison, so when the girls wanted to grab a drink I didn't move with them. My friend pointed out that they were still open, but he agreed we should give it a sec. Then...he saw just his type, a librarian-looking chick down the bar, and wandered her way. I went to the bar to grab a round next to Brianna and started talking to her.
Her friend was being hit on by a dorky looking dude next to her, and while she was busy I got to know Brianna. There was an instant vibe, and we bonded over favorite venues, travelling and cities, working out (she was one of the few girls I've met whose heard of CrossFit), people watching (much fun was made of the Urkel-looking guy talking to Allison) etc. After a while it looks my friend is busy with librarian, so I suggest heading up to the darker and more intimate upstairs.
We stay there for an hour, with the vibe building and more flirting. I escalated decently, as we got closer and closer, touches were exchanged, we danced a little. I did not kiss her though, should have...I've been working on going out with light drinking and had no buzz to speak of, so I was proud enough of keeping the conversation vibrant while near-sober surrounded by drunken dancing.
Also, I've been working on qualifying--a key part of game I had neglected before reading G3/Models and being reminded how much it actually matters--and had her complimenting me and qualifying herself on a regular basis.
Allison said that she was supposed to meet some girls in another part of the city. Here is where I made a tactical error, as looking back she said it with such reluctance that I think she was open to me keeping her there. I missed the cue in the moment, though, and grabbed her number with a rough plan to get a drink the next week.
I walked with her to the entrance of the bar looking for my friend, hugged her goodnight, then she told me to text her if I ended up somewhere good that night and kissed me on the cheek. Tactical error #2: not immediately kissing her on the lips. Ah well, still working on soberish game.
I met up with my friend who had struck out with librarian girl. He told me that I was walking away from one night stand material and to take a shot at meeting up with her that night. I texted Brianna, couldn't peg her on anything solid, and decided to follow up later.
Sunday night I shot her a quick text about being dragged to one of the venues that we had made fun of that night. I got a positive reply and left it at that.
Monday night I texted her how my friend and I's Sat ended: stuck in line at a popular salsa bar, watching the bouncer bear hug a belligerent to peace and quiet. She enthusiastically replied that she loved said bar, we texted and bantered a bit, and I suggested drinks Tuesday night. She texted me "Do you mean tomorrow?". I said "Yes"...and she replied "Ok...we'll see if you live up to your name" I had put my name into her phone as "(Name) Nice Ass", which always gets a good response from attracted girls.
Tuesday evening I shot a quick text to confirm plans, softening it with a joke about it being either a wine or liquor night (we had bantered about different types of drinks and buzzes before). She replied with "(bar-1) is for wine...(bar-2) next door is for liquor". Taking this as the good sign it was, I grabbed a fresh condom and took off.
Despite me being 20 minutes late--thank you, DC traffic--we hit it off right from the start. She had ordered a bottle of wine, and we made short work of it while talking about anything and everything. Topics-wise, I let the conversation go where it wanted to, spicing it up with stories and people-watching any time I felt a dip coming. This time I was on my escalation...a hand around the small of her back, longer and longer touching to punctuate the conversation, etc.
We wandered out of the first bar with a good buzz and vibe. I payed for the bottle of wine with her agreeing to buy rounds at the next stop. As we left the bar steps, I grabbed and kissed her. We fooled around for a minute, then I took her to bar #2.
This one was more of the same, though looking back we really didn't need more drinks. I just kept talking and touching, the vibe was already set and I need only keep it alive. We left there just past midnight, and this time I pulled her to a side alley where we made out and groped each other up for a while.
We both had work the next day, though she was joking about how "she was just going to take the day off". I told her I'd drop her off, and walked her to my car.
The fact that it took me five minutes to find said car was probably a sign that I shouldn't have driven it, but hey, who's judging? She directed me back to her place while we kept talking.
As we finally--and safely--got to her neighborhood, she started talking like I was just dropping her off, ie "Thanks for driving so far tonight to hang out". I ignored the implication, and asked her where I should park. She asked "are you coming in?" I told her I was, and she pointed out a side street.
After walking in, pleasantries lasted all of two minutes before we were all over each other. Frankly, she was hornier than me...she pulled off my shirt minutes after we arrived, then I picked her up and carried her to her bed. I tossed her on it, hopped on, and we got to it.
Problem: I was half a bottle of wine and two mixed drinks of unknown strength in two hours down. I've been there before and been able to perform, but as much as I hate sounding like a girl, I need more time in that situation to get my body to cooperate. While making out on her bed we were grinding with pants on and she basically said "now!"
I got on with it...but I had zero sensitivity with the condom on, and in the lightly intoxicated state couldn't keep going without feeling anything. So the sex was lame, but I was careful not to show upset, and she laughed it off and said that she couldn't orgasm this drunk anyway. We ended up talking for a half hour after while I drank some water and got ready for the drive home. She was as cheerful and pleasant after as she was before, and said to look her up next time I was in DC. She asked me if I was sure I was fit to drive, I said "sure", and she told me to text when I got home.
I made it back safely, shot her a quick "home safe and sound, 'night!" text and passed out to get 3 hours of broken sleep for work. While dazed out at my desk the next day, I figured I would send her a text in the late afternoon. I waited till 4:45, sent something and went home to pass out. No reply.
Now, while I liked Brianna and would definitely see her again, I don't have any long term interest, and I'm fine retiring from this one with the lay. I'm curious why this went from super on to super silent, though, so if you guys have any ideas please share. I'll keep my theories to myself for now.