Joined: Apr 2011
RE: Keeping the vibe alive
I think you're asking the wrong question. That change in the vibe is always going to happen for different reasons, so you have to take it on a case-by-case basis.
I can tell you with certainty though what happened with this girl. Her quips about a "real date" weren't really about the logistics of an actual date or whatever. It was basically her saying, "I feel kind of slutty, and I need to be reassured that you actually like me and that you're a decent guy." Listen to the emotions, not the words.
So you come back with jokes and give her a hard time, and you didn't affirm that at all, which is why she went cold.
What I would have done? I would have said, "Sure, we'll have a candlelight dinner and blah, blah, blah..." I wouldn't have brushed it aside. I'd have agreed to it. You don't even necessarily have to do it, what you're doing is just affirming, "It's cool, you're actually a cool girl, you're not a slut." That's all.
Emotions, not words. The words could be anything. It's the emotions you have to pay attention to.
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|04-08-2011 07:45 AM