I've been seeing the same hairdresser for 2 years now. I never thought anything of it until 5 months ago when she mentioned her and her bf split ways and from my understanding they were together for awhile.

A few appointments later and after lots of flirting (sex jokes, teasing, laughing etc) she mentioned Twitter and gave me her alias.

I've since then added her (3 weeks ago) and we've shot a few messages back and forth.

Now this is where is gets sticky. I'm refraining from messaging her constantly trying to get a date with her but when I do send her a message it takes a good 14-24hrs for her to reply.

I asked her for her number via twitter and she said they aren't allowed to give it to clients.

We then made some last minute plans but it didn't happen do to weather (dog park) and while I've invited her out on weekends she's replied the next morning saying she just got it.

We were supposed to meet up at a function downtown and while it wasn't a set time I got there and she had already come and gone.

I dm'd her and asked where she was, I got message 2hrs later apologizing and she finally gave me her phone number saying texting is easier.

2 days later I msg her with a short joke about a pet name i'm using for her while I add her to my phone. "haha sure" was her reply.

I then texted her "Friday night?"

Nothing since.

Half of me says put her in her place - "you flirt with me, we try to make plans, your don't give me your number, you give me your number…what will it be? You're an awesome chick but this isn't cool"
or
Just let it ride. Don't text her or message her again, see her next week for my next haircut and see if we cant set something up then.
or
send her some late night chatty type texts, try to get to sexting?

I should mention she's 28, and while I'm 25 she is unaware of this. I don't think the age is a big deal but she may, unsure.

If I got mad and called out every girl who's flaked on me, I might as well set half of San Diego County on fire. Don't do that.

Honestly, this entire interaction sounds like something I used to do - have a bunch of base interactions with a girl, have her continually either flake or lose interest in me, and sit around overanalyzing and over thinking it. Simple truth, you should've just asked her out when you had a chance, and if she wanted to go out with you she would've said yes. If she didn't she would've said no, and you wouldn't have had to go through all this will she wont she mumbo jumbo.

Simple matter of fact - if she wanted to go out with you she would go out with you. She didn't that means she probably doesn't. Find other leads, lessen your investment in her, and if you feel like trying again later, then try again. But, in my experience, the instant you start overthinking these things is the instant you fuck yourself up. Move on, or at least make yourself okay with moving on.

I would find another hairdresser. EDIT: TO CUT YOUR HAIR, NOT TO DATE. YOU'RE PAYING HER TO PROVIDE YOU A SERVICE. SHE EVEN MENTIONED YOU AS A 'CLIENT'. TIME TO MOVE ON.

Yea dude, you're getting faded (term I use to describe when you want to let someone down gently...i.e. not rejecting someone outright, rejecting them by constantly parlaying their advances in hopes that they get the idea and back off without having to deal with confrontation)...it's annoying - and I definitely think a lot of things would go a lot smoother if girls could just be more upfront about these sort of things - but a lot of girls (and guys) don't like confrontation, and just fading someone is a lot easier and more gentle. Give up, move on, and just treat this girl as someone who cuts your hair. If you can pretend like the whole situation was not a big deal and just go back to the way things were - kudos to you and you'll probably actually get more points in her mind. Also, don't take it personally, we all get rejected like 1,000,000 times so don't think it's something wrong with you - just the chemistry isn't there for whatever reason. Remember, meeting girls is in large part a numbers game. Just keep truckin.

Yeah, the 'C' word is just as brutal as the 'F' word (client and friend if you're not following).

One thing I'm starting to notice lately is that girls fresh out of long-term relationships, especially one's who have been dumped, seem to be big on the flirting/validation, but when it comes time to walk the walk, they chicken out and flake. Happened to me a few times the last couple months with girls who had just been dumped from multi-year relationships. It makes sense from an emotional standpoint.

Either way, just move on.

Also, for what it's worth, I don't think you struck while the iron was hot here. I would have asked her out much sooner.

Definitely don't "put her in her place" especially if you want to keep her as your hairdresser, let alone anything else. I would not put too much effort into pursuing this girl, but in this case it really does sound like it is a "it's not you, it's me" circumstance. Being that she is recently out of a serious relationship, it sounds like she wants to go out and date, but when it comes time to actually doing that, she probably doesn't feel so ready anymore. I've been there myself, to the point where I was dreading going out on dates and would have to force myself not to cancel, and it had nothing to do with the guy.

Honestly, I don't think she would have given you her number if she didn't feel at least some interest. If you feel she is worth the wait, I would continue a friendly relationship. Send her a text every now and then just to say hi, keeping it mostly platonic with just a hint of flirtiness.. eventually work your way up to regular communication. Continue with your scheduled haircuts. I think the ticket here is to get her completely comfortable with you so when you do ask her out on a date, it will be less intimidating and I think it is unlikely she would flake out.

This is all if you feel this hairdresser is worth the wait and the effort, if not, then its up to you if you want to just get another stylist or whatever. In the meantime, I would definitely talk to other girls. Don't put all your eggs in her basket. good luck

Agree with Brett, sounds like you are being faded...doesn't want to be direct, probably because you're a client and she has/had some interest in you.

Stay with her as a stylist, but just be low key from now on. She's 28, so she may step up and actually ask you to do something if you back off. I would prob move on, and who knows, it may come back to you.

(07-13-2011 02:32 PM)dondraper Wrote:  I asked her for her number via twitter and she said they aren't allowed to give it to clients.

I'm sure hairdressers have very strict principles on that.

I would just forget her and move on.