For those of you like me who are working through your approach anxiety, or those who have gone through it, here's an interesting article.
http://www.philosophynow.org/issue44/Sartre_and_Peanuts
I read this years ago, and it struck a chord with me, but it wasn't until I reread it a few days ago that I realized how significant it is in the area of meeting woman. Feel free to ignore the religious overtones of the article if it's not your cup of tea, but I thought this one line alone was worth the price of admission
Quote:
It is this very possibility that causes despair. Why does Charlie Brown tear himself into knots over the little red-haired girl? The very possibility that he could go over and talk to her is far more distressing than its impossibility would be; he must take ownership of his failure. When she is the victim of a bully in the school yard, Charlie Brown’s despair threatens to leap right off the comic page. He isn’t suffering because he can’t help her, but because he could help her, but won’t: “Why can’t I rush over there and save her? Because I’d get slaughtered, that’s why...” When Linus helps her out instead, thereby illustrating his freedom of action, Charlie Brown only becomes more melancholic.
In order to combat despair, Charlie Brown succumbs to bad faith, which is to say, he denies his freedom: “I wonder what would happen if I went over and tried to talk to her! Everybody would probably laugh ... she’d probably be insulted too ...” It is only by falsely denying his freedom that Charlie Brown can overcome his despair. But by hiding behind bad faith, he does himself no favours. Another lunch hour is spent alone on a bench with a peanut butter sandwich.
End Quote
I used to think it was supremely unfair that men had to make the first move. Now I understand the trade off between fear and freedom. Just some food for thought, as I've noticed Mark and others on the board talking about responsibility and taking action (also covered in the article).
p.s. My intention here isn't to set off a religious and philosophical debate, but rather to provide something edifying for those interested in the idea of personal responsibility
