I hear and see it over and over again on PUA forums. Whenever someone posts a field report guys write back saying he should have said x instead of y or used this push pull technique or this kino move etc etc..

I'm starting to experience more and more that the balls factor from opening to escalating is what makes it happen with a girl. The balls to open strong, the balls to escalate, the balls to close.

It seems like the balls aspect is 70% and the techniques are the 30% that smooth it out, but pua forums focus on 80% techniques.

Mark talked about something similar in his pua techniques don't matter posts. What do you guys think about the balls factor??

I think you're right that having balls accounts for most of guys success with women. Unfortunately dating advice/coaches can't teach you how to grow a pair. This leads to them writing about techniques that smooth out the interaction, but are really not that important overall. Not being able to man up and "do it" is probably the reason so many guys quit pickup. At a point it is up to them to decide if they will risk putting themselves out there and bruising their ego.

"The ability to fearlessly take action will be the greatest long-term factor in your success with women." = From my new book.

It comes back to the three fundamentals. Taking action, or "balls" in the case of this post, will determine the quantity or speed of success.

Lifestyle, demographics and looks will determine quality of girls.

Game and communication will determine the efficiency and compatibility of the girls you hook up with.

(06-27-2011 01:00 PM)Mark Wrote:  "The ability to fearlessly take action will be the greatest long-term factor in your success with women." = From my new book.

It comes back to the three fundamentals. Taking action, or "balls" in the case of this post, will determine the quantity or speed of success.

Lifestyle, demographics and looks will determine quality of girls.

Game and communication will determine the efficiency and compatibility of the girls you hook up with.

So in a cold approach how does one convey lifestyle best? I would say its from fashion, some conversation, and looks of course. This is why fashion has been over looked in pua, its the second thing a girl see's you outside your looks.

You don't convey lifestyle. You ARE lifestyle. Your looks, your friends, your connections, your hobbies, your reputation, etc.

I don't think fashion is overlooked, I just think it's not given enough serious attention. Fashion and fitness should be absolutely mandatory commitments for every guy getting into this. Being dressed well and in shape is just as important anything you could ever say.

(06-27-2011 08:53 PM)Mark Wrote:  You don't convey lifestyle. You ARE lifestyle. Your looks, your friends, your connections, your hobbies, your reputation, etc.

I don't think fashion is overlooked, I just think it's not given enough serious attention. Fashion and fitness should be absolutely mandatory commitments for every guy getting into this. Being dressed well and in shape is just as important anything you could ever say.

well off a cold approach, she really can't tell what your lifestyle is. So its about talking about it or conveying it as best as possible. If you meet a girl at a social party or at a fitness class for example you can be the lifestyle.

For example when your traveling alone what is your lifestyle Mark? I'm guessing its the adventerous traveling nomad.

Lifestyle becomes pretty apparent without you having to do anything to actively convey it. So for instance, lifestyle would include the kinds of clothes I wear. Where my apartment is and how it's decorated. If I am talking to a girl from out of town and she asks me about museums or bars. If the topic of books comes up. Etc. I don't have to make an effort to convey these things, it's just that over the course of a convesation it becomes pretty apparent what my lifestyle is.

(06-28-2011 07:46 AM)pros80 Wrote:  well off a cold approach, she really can't tell what your lifestyle is.

People get stereotyped and put into boxes fairly quickly. Your lifestyle (the way you act, look and dress) will determine which box she puts you into. Make it a good one.

You're really overthinking this pros... I don't think of myself as an "adventurous nomad" or "intellectual partygoer," or whatever. I just am who I am. And when I meet a girl, and we start talking to each other, these things will be shown, not said.

A rich guy never has to tell people he's rich. A rock star never has to tell people he's a rock star. They just are. And people realize it quickly after meeting them.

For one, being an American in a foreign country says a lot by itself. And all that requires is me saying, "Hello." Second, if I speak to her in her language, that says even more. And now I've said "Hello," twice. Third, the way I'm dressed and present myself says even more. Maybe I happen to be at a club with a famous DJ and I dance to the music, that says even more. Maybe when I dance with her, I throw in some salsa moves for shits, that says even more. At this point I've only spoken two words from here and she can deduce that I'm: a well-educated, successful American, who loves music and partying, is adventurous, disciplined, and confident... and I've literally just said, "Hello."