Obviously there are a number of girls who are willing/ wanting to have a one night stand or sex with a guy they just met at a bar, club, what have you, but I would say majority of girls, at least the ones that are worth sleeping with, are probably not down in terms of normal circumstances. From what I gather, guys go out to a club or bar to have fun, but with the main motivation to find a lay for the night. It is different for girls. We go out for the experience and having a one night stand is not our prerogative and if the opportunity does present itself, I think most girls would say no before they say yes. Personally, it has very little to do with guy and his "game." If it is a girl you have been talking to all night, making out and dancing with, but it doesn't escalate into taking her home- it is because most females are generally not interested in a one nighter. My personal reasons are mostly health and safety ones, plus logistics. Usually all us girls drive together, so it complicates things. No where in there do I factor in my friends as far as their opinion goes, which brings to to a reference of something Jon said.
"I actually think club makeouts are conterproductive for a one night stand because girls generally wanna be discreet about that kind of thing, and making out with a dude at the bar is broadcasting for all her friends what's going down"
I have to disagree. Girls talk and we tell our friends when and who we sleep with, so hiding a makeout sesh is not for the friend's benefit.
In all the cases that I know from myself and friends who have had a one night stand, we mentally prepared ourselves for it and specifically go out with the intention to find a guy for the night. Reasons vary for wanting one.. vacation, rebound, it's been a while, celebration.. things of that nature. But never once have I, or have my close friends gone home with a guy from a bar on a normal, everyday instance, for reasons that I have mentioned above. I say we "mentally prepare" ourselves for it because the female reaction to sex is very different to that of a male, and I mean physically, requiring us to go in with a straight head and knowledge of what is to come. During sex, both females and males release the hormone oxytocin, this is the "feel-good" and "bonding" hormone. Females have levels that are 10x higher than in dudes. And where for a guy his "high" from the release of oxytocin lasts a few hours, for a girl, it cal last a few days. This is what attributes to us girls wanting to cuddle after sex, feel close to our partner post hookup and all that bs. So even if a girl doesn't know the chemical reasoning for her emotions, any girl who has had sex knows the feelings, and maybe abstaining from a one night stand is her way of protecting herself. Similarly to what Philip's female friend said about her feeling as though she "gave" something when she has sex.

It actually makes a lot of sense why women don't want one-night stands often, now that I think about it. I guess this is obvious.

For men, the simple fact of getting laid is a positive thing. Even if the experience sucks balls and the girl is meh, they still get an ego-boost and validation and all that. (See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o lol) But the simple fact of getting laid is not positive at all for women. There's still a stigma tied to women having a lot of casual sex, and women would rather limit the number of different sexual partners they've had than get that number as high as possible (as some men want to do).

So for men, sex is good just because it's sex. Even if the experience isn't that great. But for women it's ALL about the experience. One-night stands tend to be pretty crappy. Furthermore, having sex with a stranger can be a very vulnerable and intimate thing to do for a woman. So then having bad sex with a stranger just leaves her feeling disappointed and dirty.

I think the optimal strategy for a woman would be to screen men very seriously, to be as sure as she can be that the man will give her a good experience and not disappoint or upset her. Or just not have one-night stands.

Edit: It's as simple as: women need a good reason to have sex with a guy, while men need a good reason to not have sex with a girl.
And this is not even taking into account that girls like to be all prepared for it, shaved, looking sexy, not on their period, and so on.

(06-30-2011 03:42 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  In all the cases that I know from myself and friends who have had a one night stand, we mentally prepared ourselves for it and specifically go out with the intention to find a guy for the night. Reasons vary for wanting one.. vacation, rebound, it's been a while, celebration.. things of that nature. But never once have I, or have my close friends gone home with a guy from a bar on a normal, everyday instance, for reasons that I have mentioned above. ...

That would explain why (according to Mark) Vegas clubs are more of a sure thing than clubs in other cities.

@youregettingitwrong. You and your friends may never have one night stands on impulse, but I certainly know many women who have - and I am not talking about girls I have taken home. I have heard this from my female friends, and often from my girlfriend's friends. Most notably my ex recounted a conversation where her friends said she "accidentally" had a one night stand with a guy, at his place, in queens, which she got to by taking the subway. (Oh, and my response was "wow, any guy who won't splurge for a cab when he is taking a girl home on a saturday must get laid A LOT"). I do realize that girls talk A LOT more than guys do to their friends about this sort of thing, I still have noticed that a lot of girls are uncomfortable with going home with a guy after they made out with them at a bar. I could be wrong about the reasoning, but I have found that it's generally better not to make out at the bar.

Just to wade into this conversation a little bit, I agree with points on both sides. I feel that youregettingitwrong is ironically correct when she says that it doesn't matter if you make out at the bar or not, because it's not going to affect the end result.

I feel like Jon is right when he says that many girls will have a one-night stand on impulse. Hell, I know a girl who will sleep with a guy just to get a ride home from the bar.

Ultimately, I've made out with many girls at the bar who I proceeded to take home later. I almost feel like it's a pre-requisite.

People fall on both sides of the make out fence. I personally DO make out with them at the bar, and I don't think it's caused any significant problems.

"Hell, I know a girl who will sleep with a guy just to get a ride home from the bar."
...wow. Do any of those guys also drive her to the STD clinic?

(07-02-2011 01:49 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  "Hell, I know a girl who will sleep with a guy just to get a ride home from the bar."
...wow. Do any of those guys also drive her to the STD clinic?

I may or may not have periodically enjoyed her loose morals in the past, lucky I didn't catch something ..

(07-02-2011 01:49 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote:  "Hell, I know a girl who will sleep with a guy just to get a ride home from the bar."
...wow. Do any of those guys also drive her to the STD clinic?

Who fucking cares? Please PM me her phone number. kthxbye