Don´t take shit too serious or too personal
I noticed from my last fails in relationsships (every kind, not just commited ones) that a big reason why I fucked up is that I took way too much things too serious or personal. I think it is general symptom of the "Nice Guy Symptom", since it´s coming from the fear of being used or something by the women.
It began with my ex who said that I took little things (bad behaviours on her behalf) too serious and too personal and that she is even kinda worried because of that. Although she kept saying it, I thought the whole time that she is just creating an excuse why her behaviour wasn´t that bad. I mean, I didn´t take rejections in PU personal, so why should I take stuff in a LTR too personal?
Then I dated this one girl with whom I was on the best way to a relationsship, but I fucked up because I got too emotional in some situations and bitched around. I learned it the hard way, that 1 or 2 of these emotional slip-up can be enough to destroy the whole sexual attraction and tension I build up before. I stayed friends with the girl, and she told me at least twice the same things my ex told me. That´s when I recognized that often, when for example she didn´t answer my phone call and didn´t call me back the same day, that I kinda took it as a personal offense against me instead of just thinking (like an attractive male): "I dont care, she must have her reasons." I realized that this behaviour is one of the most unattractive male behaviours, since it´s showing that you don´t have confidence in yourself.
Regarding the "taking things too serious" the girl gave me the advice, that I should accept things, specially when I can´t change them, instead becoming upset and trying to change them.
Above all when you are not in LTR with the girl, she owes you NOTHING. If you don´t like her behaviour, you can mention it, and if she still does it and you cannot live with it, you can leave. But you are not in the position to tell her what she SHOULD do or not.
So nowadays I don´t pay much attentions to such little things, only when they sum up I THINK ABOUT taking it serious/personal.
Btw, I think this is a pretty good example why most of the seduction, and also about yourself, you learn from women, specially when you are dating over some period of time, and not from any PU material or coach. Reading this stuff is not enough, sometimes you gotta experience it and think about your mistakes, because these lessons you will never forget.
(This post was last modified: 06-21-2011 08:27 AM by 8_ball.)
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