Ugh. I know exactly where you're at man, and I really sympathize, but right now you can't see the wood for the forest.

Two things you need to do:

1. Stop seeing this girl.

2. Meet other girls and don't put them on a pedestal.

From what you've said so far, this is a classic case of a girl enjoying the attention and neediness you are giving her, with absolutely no intention of ever having anything more. She doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment right? Even though she's cute and could totally get one?

And what you're saying about how you can influence her if you really want to? She enjoys your persistency because it makes her feel needed and in control.

It's not that this girl is a bad person, it's just that for all of society's modern day 'independent women' cheerleading, a lot of women, and particularly younger girls, still feel like they need frequent male attention to be fulfilled. I still have female friends who, when I catch up with them on their lives, they describe them as 'boring' because they don't have any guys on the go, even when I can tell they're happier and busier than ever!

The best thing you can do for both yourself and this girl is not be the guy who gives her that attention, and just go off and do your own thing that makes you happy. I promise if that doesn't seem true now, it will in a few months (or years) time.

Aside from putting this girl on a pedestal and seemingly making her the object of all of your sexual desires, have you considered the fact that you might be putting sex itself on a pedestal? Why does having sex with this girl matter to you so much that you'd be willing to take 'sympathy sex' from her? You should really re-evaluate why it matters to you so much, because if she ends up going through with it, it's not healthy for either of you.

(06-17-2011 04:54 AM)DaveyDrama Wrote:  Aside from putting this girl on a pedestal and seemingly making her the object of all of your sexual desires, have you considered the fact that you might be putting sex itself on a pedestal? Why does having sex with this girl matter to you so much that you'd be willing to take 'sympathy sex' from her? You should really re-evaluate why it matters to you so much, because if she ends up going through with it, it's not healthy for either of you.

it's time for retrobate to learn some christian values from Davey

lol not even that, man. I'm just saying, in this case it appears to be an unhealthy fixation.

haha reprobate with his sympathy sex is exactly like this guy:

check 0:50

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/mv-Q8CR/to...motivator/

I mean sympathy sex.... seriously....

(06-17-2011 10:14 PM)crazyhorse Wrote:  haha reprobate with his sympathy sex is exactly like this guy:

check 0:50

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/mv-Q8CR/to...motivator/

I mean sympathy sex.... seriously....

Ok, maybe a bad choice of words, with "sympathy sex", but you know what I mean.

Hey dude, I know it's an old thread, but I wanted to chime in. I'm really a beginner, so I don't have a ton to offer this forum for advice, but if there's one thing I know about, it's about "that one special girl" who sees you as a brother. It's shit. It's a horrible feeling. You mentioned this girl was moving. You may not realize it now, but that's the best thing that could happen to you. It took a move across the world for me to get over mine. The feelings do dissipate once you stop seeing her. Best of luck!

Does sympathy sex even exist? I had a ton of female friends who I was friends with when I was desperate for sex/a girlfriend. All of them felt sorry for me because I was such a "nice guy" and they really wished it'd "work out for a nice guy" like me, but they never once considered sleeping with me because they felt sorry for me. The entire idea of sympathy sex is ridiculous.

(07-12-2011 05:25 PM)Trickster Wrote:  Does sympathy sex even exist? I had a ton of female friends who I was friends with when I was desperate for sex/a girlfriend. All of them felt sorry for me because I was such a "nice guy" and they really wished it'd "work out for a nice guy" like me, but they never once considered sleeping with me because they felt sorry for me. The entire idea of sympathy sex is ridiculous.

Like I said, "sympathy sex" was a bad choice of words. But are you telling me, you never tried to get with a hot friend? Call it "fuck buddy", or whatever you want, but it's not such a ridiculous idea!

Trying to get with a hot friend because she feels bad for you IS a ridiculous idea.