Quote:And I know this might piss off some people, but a sexually confident guy...is going to be a confident guy. That's just how it is...

Doesn't piss me off. But it's not true. Aside from the numerous guys who I've met who kill it with the ladies who are not confident at all in other areas of their lives, psychological studies show that confidence is situational. Being very confident in one area of your life actually does not bleed over much into other areas. So being confident with women will not necessarily make you more confident with your boss at work or whatever. This is also why guys who are very confident and successful in their professional lives are often completely train-wrecks with women.

I agree, if you just want to be happy and don't care about sex, go to a Tony Robbins seminar. But there are a lot of guys who are generally happy and confident, EXCEPT when they get in front of a girl. And that's what they're looking for. Sex is just part of the process to getting there.

Sex is probably like 20% of why I'm here. The rest is everything else everyone has said

good question

6-7 years ago, success was just getting a girlfriend. 4 years ago, success was having the reputation of a guy who can get any girl he wants. Today, success would be getting out of the validation trap and being able to sustain a healthy relationship

(06-04-2011 06:26 AM)Mark Wrote:  

Quote:And I know this might piss off some people, but a sexually confident guy...is going to be a confident guy. That's just how it is...

Doesn't piss me off. But it's not true. Aside from the numerous guys who I've met who kill it with the ladies who are not confident at all in other areas of their lives, psychological studies show that confidence is situational. Being very confident in one area of your life actually does not bleed over much into other areas. So being confident with women will not necessarily make you more confident with your boss at work or whatever. This is also why guys who are very confident and successful in their professional lives are often completely train-wrecks with women.

I agree, if you just want to be happy and don't care about sex, go to a Tony Robbins seminar. But there are a lot of guys who are generally happy and confident, EXCEPT when they get in front of a girl. And that's what they're looking for. Sex is just part of the process to getting there.

that's definetly true. But I still think that if you are already successfull in other areas of your life, you'll find it easier to improve your dating life.

Simply because most of the time these people are already familiar with goal setting, discipline, willpower...

Very true.

Plus, success and the feeling that your life is improving constantly gives you charisma.

Success would be having lots and lots and lots of sex. I'm 19 by the way, so meh that's the no.1 goal right now.

(06-06-2011 06:03 AM)Matt C Wrote:  Success would be having lots and lots and lots of sex. I'm 19 by the way, so meh that's the no.1 goal right now.

Sex is only really important if you don't have enough. When you start having more and more sex, you will care about it less and less.

In my experience, you are much more successful with girls if you first and foremost want to have a good time and don't care if you go home alone or not, i.e. if you aren't desperate and horny. Of course, you still have to be sexual and dominant and want to have sex to get laid. It's just harmful if it's your primary goal, because women feel it. Just look at "naturals", they don't go out to get laid, they go out to have fun.

Success with women is not much different to success in other areas. In business, they say "The first million is the hardest". It's the same with girls. Once you start having success, it get's easier and easier.

Extropy, while I definitely agree with you in the long run, in the short run, I think it is better to not worry about stuff like being desperate. Once a guy starts getting laid, he will automatically become less desperate. I say this from personal experiences - in the beginning I tried very hard to not come off as desperate. It just makes it even harder to add this additional layer of pretense when you actually are desperate.