(06-06-2011 04:34 PM)shadow Wrote:  Extropy, while I definitely agree with you in the long run, in the short run, I think it is better to not worry about stuff like being desperate. Once a guy starts getting laid, he will automatically become less desperate. I say this from personal experiences - in the beginning I tried very hard to not come off as desperate. It just makes it even harder to add this additional layer of pretense when you actually are desperate.

Yeah, I had the same problem when beginning.

What I'm saying is that you shouldn't care much about whether you have sex or not. Of course, if you want sex you want it. Just focus on having a good time and enjoying meeting new people and getting to know a girl. Sex is more a by-product and it shouldn't matter that much to you if you get it with that girl or not. This attitude makes you also much happer. Of the girls you meet, you only get to fuck a very small percentage. If you define success as having sex, then you will fail allmost all the time which doesn't give you the confidence you need. It's really important to get out of this vicious circle of being a desperate geek.

You know, on nights that I am pretty much determined to get laid, I tend to more often than not. This has led to some of my less than proudest moments, but if I'm out to get laid, I can get it done. That said, I think it's because I have enough experience to know that if my priority is getting laid tonight, I can amp up the physicality to the point where I get more blowouts, but definitely more easily find the girl who wants to be taken home.