I've been in the community for about 4 years and in the different interactions that I've had with women almost NONE of them communicate directly, they are always dropping hints, insinuating something, etc, etc. In the beginning I found it really exciting to read women, to know what the hell they were really trying to communicate. Nowadays I find it annoying, boring, tiring. Don'g get me wrong guys I don't expect a woman to say to me: Let's gonna fuck! I think that's never gonna happen. But I've lost some opportunities of having fun with a woman (going out for drinks, lunch, having sex, etc) because they are ALWAYS communicating indirectly or even worse some women appear OUT OF NOWHERE and they expect you to modify YOUR PLANS just because she wants to do something with you without let you know in advance. I mean, I appreciate and like spontaneity but at least if she's gonna be spontaneous communicate directly what the hell you want us to do. For example:
-HBCoworker: Leo, what are we gonna do tonight?
-Leo: IDK about you, but I'm leaving.
-HBCoworker: Do you like my closing clothes? (she changed her uniform for informal clothes to go out)
-Leo: What? Oh, yeah!
-HBCoworker: Are you gonna help me close the bar tonight? I'll pay you if you want.
-Leo: No, no thanks. I have plans, I want to enjoy my Sat. night.

Why she didn't ask me: Leo, would you like to get some drinks with me and the other guys after work? Or whatever other thing she wanted to do. Why so much pain to communicate a simple fucking idea? I'm getting tired of having to decypher hieroglyphics all the time. Do women think that we can be tired, distracted, with a head ache, have had a difficult day, etc. before communicating in this way? Sometimes I'm thinking about my own problems and a woman drops me a hint and she expects me to be READY for the hint and interpret it the right way. I used to blame myself when I lost the opportunity to be together with a woman because I wasn't ready to read the hint but nowadays I say to myself: She doesn't know how to communicate, she needs a lot of work to do, whatever! There are more women out there and not all of them communicate such in an indirect way. For example:
-HBRomanian (after 15 min. of interaction): Call me to make sure you got my number correctly.
-Leo: Ok, did you get it?
-HBRomanian: Yeah I did. Call me some day to get together.
-Leo: Sure, I will, don't worry about it.
This interaction happened on last thursday night and we are SUPPOSED to get together next Monday night.

I texted her on Thursday night after I left the Club: HBRomanian it was nice to meet you.
-HBRomanian (On Friday morning): It was nice to meet you too Leo. Are you in Facebook?
After about 6 texts messages exchanged between each other I asked for the date on Monday night.
-HBRomanian: Sounds good, see you on Monday night then.

I hope this is not a case of: too good to be true. But I really enjoyed the interaction with HBRomanian, no BS, no indirect communication, no misinterpretation. God, it felt so good! While the interaction with HBCoworker was so unclear, confusing, BORING. Why she can't say something directly, or at least not in such a complicated way. I think that a lot of women make a HUGE mistake communicating indirectly, it's a horrible way to communicate ideas and sometimes they even expect from us to read their minds, yeah right!

Most women do not want to put themselves out there for fear of losing face with those around them. It's not that they don't like you enough to ask you directly but the burden of starting something lies on the man most of the time.

I find that several women hover around me but NEVER state their interest. It bleeds through into the conversations and their actions. And awkward eye contact too. *shiver*

Sometimes they do communicate directly, when they're drunk... Alcohol is like a truth serum.
One day, a girl I've known for a long time texted me: "Let's have sex. I'm horny." She was a little drunk.
I didn't do it because I had a pretty heavy deadline the next day and she was drunk. Pity.
Some time later, I was visiting this same girl. And she started dropping hints to have sex at hers. Well, exactly that day, I had another deadline for tomorrow... Damn those deadlines.

Like Traindom said, women don't want to put themselves in a vulnerable position by going this direct. Firstly, it's society-conditioned to not be direct, otherwise you're a slut or something. And secondly if you turn her direct request down, she'll feel unwanted, unsexy. Like a newbie "PUA" suffering from AA. If you don't turn her down and proceed, it'll be nice for both of you. But in either case I guess an average girl will feel at least a bit like a slut. But that's just what I think.
As for the Romanian girl, I don't know how you met her and how she is, but in different countries, there are different boundaries for socially-accepted direct requests by women.
In our Western social value set, it's not acceptable to go very direct for women, so I guess we'll just have to keep scanning them for hints and deciphering the codes. At least, when they're not drunk.

deadlines? I'm going to freak out...

I think you're framing this the wrong way in your head. A lot of women communicate directly... they RESPOND directly. They don't lead directly. They want you to lead.

And stop whining.

(05-23-2011 02:04 AM)Mark Wrote:  I think you're framing this the wrong way in your head. A lot of women communicate directly... they RESPOND directly. They don't lead directly. They want you to lead.

And stop whining.

Mark, I think many of us would like to lead, it's just not very socially acceptable and most men don't seem to like that.

(05-23-2011 02:04 AM)Mark Wrote:  I think you're framing this the wrong way in your head. A lot of women communicate directly... they RESPOND directly. They don't lead directly. They want you to lead.

Well.... I've been interacting with a lot of young girls lately and I think I'm getting tired of their BS, too many games, too much confusion, too much drama. They look good but..... ughhhh!

Quote:And stop whining.

I know, but it's related to what I wrote above. I think I'm gonna interact now with women in their late 20s. It's gonna be better for me.

(05-23-2011 02:04 AM)Mark Wrote:  I think you're framing this the wrong way in your head. A lot of women communicate directly... they RESPOND directly.

I think you are for another planet man! Lol!

Like the woman who posted here the other day said, I think women communicate very directly. For whatever reason, you don't want to take them at face value. Anything other than a resounding "Yes" basically means she's not interested enough or that she lost interest. End of story. These are not games, these are rejections.

A lot of women don't want to reject you out right, so they'll make up excuses or try to drop hints. I think you interpret these as "games" when really they're just not that interested.

I mean, you've now had this same sticking point for over three years. Has it really been EVERY SINGLE WOMAN YOU'VE MET in three years to blame? Or is it you? After all, the only thing that every single one of those interactions has in common, is you.

http://www.practicalpickup.com/you-are-not-a-victim
http://www.practicalpickup.com/shit-test-paranoia

(05-22-2011 05:20 PM)Leo Wrote:  -HBCoworker: Leo, what are we gonna do tonight?
-Leo: IDK about you, but I'm leaving.
-HBCoworker: Do you like my closing clothes? (she changed her uniform for informal clothes to go out)
-Leo: What? Oh, yeah!
-HBCoworker: Are you gonna help me close the bar tonight? I'll pay you if you want.
-Leo: No, no thanks. I have plans, I want to enjoy my Sat. night.

She couldn't have made it more obvious that she wants you to ask her out for a few drinks.

Beginnging sentences with "I don't know" or "What?" usually looks insecure.

If you like her and want to spend more time with her, it's best to take the lead and just initiate it, even when she doesn't give you such obvious hints. Your responses look like you want to get rid of her.

-HBCoworker: Leo, what are we gonna do tonight?
-Leo: I'm going to XY with some friends. What are your plans? (you could take her out with your friends or ask her for another day)
-HBCoworker: Do you like my closing clothes? (she changed her uniform for informal clothes to go out)
-Leo: Yeah, you look great.
-HBCoworker: Are you gonna help me close the bar tonight? I'll pay you if you want.
-Leo: I'm in quite a rush... but I help you with it, sure. (Even if I don't want to hit on her, I would help my co-worker if she asks me for it unless I'm really busy and just don't have the time. You want to help your partners and be someone people can count on, right?)