(05-25-2011 06:03 AM)youregettingitwrong Wrote: I am not really clear on your circumstances with girl one
"I called the next day, after that she sended me a text "maybe it's that we just leave it like this"." when you called, did she answer and you guys had a conversation or she didn't answer but sent you that text? If you guys did have a conversation, it must have really been a real shitty one or you said something to terribly screw it up because if she really did say it was amazing that you came to talk to her and that she not only responded to your text but said she had an awesome time blah blah blah, then those are pretty good signs that she was interested. So the only thing I could imagine is that you said something that really turned her off during the course of your conversation. Whatever it was though, she told you point blank she's not interested, so persistence is not going to help you here.
Girl two, like the others said, ask her out again. I agree with you that if she is dedicating hours to talking with you, then your chances are definitely elevated. People are busy, so her saying she can't hang out in that one instance is perfectly fine. In cases like this, I think it is really important to look beyond the yes or no. If you ask her out and solely says she can't, well that's not a great sign. If she says she can't but maybe some other time, asks for a raincheck, offers a time when she is not busy, those are good indications that she is legitimately occupied and not just blowing you off. To be specific to your case, definitely ask girl 2 out again. If she says she is busy, then immediately suggest another day/time. If she says no to Friday night, ask if she can on Saturday..etc. etc..
Also, sometimes I will be asked out by a guy who I think I could be interested in, but I may not be into the type of date he asks for and as a result might say no. as an example; if a guy asks me to accompany him to a party and I am not comfortable with that, I might say no- not because of him, but because of the activity itself. You can't really say, "hey I want to go out with you but I don't really want to stand around awkwardly at your friend's party where I don't know anyone, can you take me to dinner instead?" No. No girl would say that because it would come off totally prissy and so it's easier to just say no and hope the guy asks you out again. The point I am trying to get across is- If you ask her out to dinner and she says no, try again but this time ask her out for just drinks, if she says no or she has something to do again, then ask her out to go bowling with a group or some shit like that. This is talking in general circumstances, not specifically for your case crazyhorse.
I am going to agree with Mark about the 3 strikes you're out bit as a general rule of thumb.
With girl 1 it went like this:
approach: hey I wanted to come and talk to you because I taught you were cute.
her respons: oh that's so sweet
---> we talked for 2 hours, after that she said "wow it was really amazing that you came and talk to me".
Next day: hey I had an awesome time with you yesterday, I'm gonna call so we can hang out sometime".
her respons: "that would be great, it really was a lot of fun"
couple of days after next day: I called and she didn't pick up the phone. After that I got a respons "maybe we should leave it this way".
what I'm going to do next time is just call her immediately after she texted, too much time went bye.
That's the only reason I can come up with.
My point is, if she said all of the above things, then persistence should HAVE WORKED. that's the entire point of that article. It states explicitly that persistence works if she has shown you some sexual interest, but turned cold after that.
I mean don't get me wrong, but saying all of these things after an appraoch. Those are definetly signs that she was sexually interested. Hell, the fact that she stayed and talked after I went that direct, already says enough.
I don't buy the "I'm not interested in you". Women have tons of experience, if she wasn't interested she would have rejected me from the start. Persistence should have payed off in this situation.
In the end, we probably shouldn't take rejections so personally. Since in that period (a week or so), I was stil that same guy who approached her, I didn't change.
. Next time I'll call a little sooner. Because I would have persisted with this one, she was definetly worth it.
My point is: if she would see me again in real life, those feeling could change just as quickly. She just wasn't in the moment anymore