How to handle difficult emotion and be happier
Recently, I was accuse wrongly by a guy i worked for scheming against him and doing things to him that i did not commit. Like most normal people, I felt intense amount of anger and disappointment toward him.
However, what really puzzles me is that i keep replay in my mind the things that guy said to me over and over and experience that anger emotion in me.
I try my best to do things to distract myself from experience that emotion because at the time, i logically conclude that i did not like that emotion.
The more i suppress that emotion, the more i keep thinking about it and experience it and the more i suffer.
However, laying in bed just a few minutes ago, i came to a realization. The reason i keep on experiencing that emotion because I DESIRE that emotion.
Now that is the concept that most people will find it hard to understand. Why would anyone DESIRE negative emotion?
The things is, we have no control over what we desire. Desires is subconscious, wants is logical.
I did not want to experience that emotion, but i desire to experience it. The more i want to not experience it, the more i desire it. Suppression is the greatest way to increase desire.
By the fact that the more i want to not experience that emotion, the more i suppress that emotion and the more i desire it.
When you want something that is the opposite of what you actually desire, the more conflict you create within yourself and the more you suffer.
Your emotional body(some say it's your soul) are hungry for emotion. It wants to experience emotion...any kind of emotion including suffering. Since it's HUNGRY for emotion, you need to feed it.
The beauty about emotion is that you can literally create any kind of emotion by focusing on it.
Since I actually DESIRE that emotion, I focus purely on that emotion and the sensation of that emotion gave me. I realize that any emotion can be fun and i fully enjoy that emotion in that moment.
When i fully experience that emotion and gave my soul enough of that emotion, it felt full and it doesnt DESIRE it anymore. Once it doesnt desire it anymore, it doesnt exist in my mind at this moment anymore.
A similiar example would be when you're hungry. When you're physically hungry, your body desires food. When you feed it enough food, it doesnt desires the food anymore.
Shinzen Young said to fully experience the emotion because if you suppress it, the suffering increase by 1000 fold. At the time when i listen to him, i did not understand. The thing about a lot of things you learn spiritually, you cannot logically understand until you experience it.
Now I understand.
The next time you experience some negative emotion or pain, realize that it's your soul desire to experience it and feed it all it wants. It will then disappear once you feed it enough.
Another good examples in pickup would be jealousy plotline. Why do you guys think jealousy plotline works so well, because believe me, it totally works.
Basically what happens is that when you flirts with a girl, you're creating this immense good feeling in the girl. Right when she is at the height of that experience, you left her and flirt with another girl.
She wants to experience more of that emotion, but you "suppress" that from her because you ran off and flirt with another girl and not give it to her. So she chase you.
When a girl chase you because of jealousy plotline, she's not really chasing you, she's chasing the emotion you gave her earlier.
The opposite of that is "neediness". Why is it that neediness mess up your interaction with the girl? It's because you gave her too much good feeling.
Once she felt she got enough good feeling from you, she doesnt desire it anymore.
When a girl reject you because of neediness, she's not actually rejecting you as a person, but rather she doesnt actually desire whatever emotion you gave her earlier anymore.
A humbling realization huh? You realize it's not about you, but rather it's about her own emotion and your own emotion.