I've been there too and it was fucking horrible. In reflection, what I realise is that it was my mindset that was getting me down. Sounds like an obvious thing to say but that was a big part of it. I thought to myself if you choose to look at life, day to day existence, and yourself in a negative way then guess what? you're gonna feel like shit.

This way of thinking was a big habit for me and just as thinking in a negative way can be habitual, so can positivity. It is something you can develop and learn.

After a substantial period of depression, I basically forced my way out of it and told myself not to be such a pussy, take control over my mindset, what I choose to think about and be more pro-active.

Whereas I used to get these moodswings all the time, now I just feel pretty consistently positive and happy.

If you've ever got time to kill I can recommend watching the documentary 'what the bleep do we know?' which looks at amongst other things how your reality changes by the way you think -

http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/what_th...e_know.php

Respect

(05-22-2011 07:32 PM)Dawson Wrote:  After a substantial period of depression, I basically forced my way out of it and told myself not to be such a pussy, take control over my mindset, what I choose to think about and be more pro-active.

Whereas I used to get these moodswings all the time, now I just feel pretty consistently positive and happy.

That is a great accomplishment.

But I would like to remind the creator of the thread that there is no shame in seeking help if you cannot overcome depression by yourself.
Sometimes you just need a new perspective on your life, and a therapist can provide that.

Hey guys! Just wanted to thank you all once again. I have been making changes in my life and my mindsets.

Just the other day my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me. I kinda knew it was going to happen. Now I guess I have no choice but to learn how to be single (successfully). I am actually surprised how well I am handling it. I thought I'd be totally crushed, but while I am feeling quite sad, I have actually accepted it and just want to find a way to move on.

On the positive side, I improved my diet and started working out. I am also moving to London next week for an internship where I'll hopefully meet new people and also save up a bit so I can get coaching or at least join the G3 program and buy some cool clothes.

I decided to stay away from medications. I believe I have it in me to get over this. With the help of your advice and some inspirational people I met, I've finally accepted that I can only control my own thoughts, actions, reactions, emotions and feelings (to some extent). I shouldn't feel like shit because of things I have no control over.

There's something I wanted to ask you guys but I am not sure I'll manage to word it properly. Basically, I want to get good with women. I want to experience new things, have a better choice when it comes to the women I date and just have a fulfilling love life. But...Do you think that can be achieved if you don't make it your number one priority? Cause I want to grow professionally, I want to advance in my martial art, I want to achieve a few other things. They will all make me a more interesting and well-rounded person and, therefore more attractive, but they require time. How much time did you guys devote to getting better when you were new? Is it absolutely necessary to go all-in? I want to be good with women but not at the expense of other things in my life. Possible?

Cheers,
S

You don't have to spend an outrageous amount of time to get better. Definitely keep that other stuff you have going, try to squeeze this in. Also, don't forget to socialize in general. You can definitely get good with women without throwing your life out the window. Of course, the more time you put in the more frequently you will get results, but it doesn't sound like your goal is to bang two girls a week or anything like that.

(06-17-2011 05:42 AM)nonsense Wrote:  Hey guys! Just wanted to thank you all once again. I have been making changes in my life and my mindsets.

Just the other day my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me. I kinda knew it was going to happen. Now I guess I have no choice but to learn how to be single (successfully). I am actually surprised how well I am handling it. I thought I'd be totally crushed, but while I am feeling quite sad, I have actually accepted it and just want to find a way to move on.

On the positive side, I improved my diet and started working out. I am also moving to London next week for an internship where I'll hopefully meet new people and also save up a bit so I can get coaching or at least join the G3 program and buy some cool clothes.

I decided to stay away from medications. I believe I have it in me to get over this. With the help of your advice and some inspirational people I met, I've finally accepted that I can only control my own thoughts, actions, reactions, emotions and feelings (to some extent). I shouldn't feel like shit because of things I have no control over.

There's something I wanted to ask you guys but I am not sure I'll manage to word it properly. Basically, I want to get good with women. I want to experience new things, have a better choice when it comes to the women I date and just have a fulfilling love life. But...Do you think that can be achieved if you don't make it your number one priority? Cause I want to grow professionally, I want to advance in my martial art, I want to achieve a few other things. They will all make me a more interesting and well-rounded person and, therefore more attractive, but they require time. How much time did you guys devote to getting better when you were new? Is it absolutely necessary to go all-in? I want to be good with women but not at the expense of other things in my life. Possible?

Cheers,
S

I'm working on this shit while in med school

(06-17-2011 05:42 AM)nonsense Wrote:  There's something I wanted to ask you guys but I am not sure I'll manage to word it properly. Basically, I want to get good with women. I want to experience new things, have a better choice when it comes to the women I date and just have a fulfilling love life. But...Do you think that can be achieved if you don't make it your number one priority? Cause I want to grow professionally, I want to advance in my martial art, I want to achieve a few other things. They will all make me a more interesting and well-rounded person and, therefore more attractive, but they require time. How much time did you guys devote to getting better when you were new? Is it absolutely necessary to go all-in? I want to be good with women but not at the expense of other things in my life. Possible?

What you may not yet realize, my friend, is that all of these things go hand-in-hand. Growing professionally and having a great job, investing time and effort into martial arts and building an attractive lifestyle will make you better with women as a by-product. They go hand in hand. Great news, isn't it?