Hey Mark...

So I'm sort of a beginner to game. I've mostly read the Mystery stuff, plus your blog and some of the other game blogs..

Here's a really weird pattern of results I get:

Girls with boyfriends, particularly long-distance boyfriends, LOVE ME. My personal ethics really don't permit taking advantage of it, but I've had girls way out of my usual league (like borderline 9s) with boyfriends practically be jumping into my lap. I've hooked up with a couple despite ethics, and turned down more because of ethics. But, it's like I meet a girl with a boyfriend, especially a really hot girl with a boyfriend, and I'm in.

Girls without boyfriends tend to think I'm gay. Or they flake on me. (Who knows, maybe the flakes have boyfriends too, I just lose them before I have a chance to find out.)

Mostly when I meet girls without boyfriends (the ones who think I'm gay) it's through social circle, and they're not telling me they think I'm gay (it's not that shit test you just posted about), they're telling mutual friends. I've had ridiculous situations like making out with girls at parties then have them be surprised that my friends insist I'm straight.

Most of these girls I meet who turn out to have boyfriends are indirect approach day game, no wing. I suck at night game, hate bars and clubs -- but am very comfortable in coffeeshops and the like, so I'm pretty much all day game. Also, all the bars around here are massive sausage fests.

I live in a really shitty area (one of the worst male/female ratios in the country), decent-looking but not woah (need to lose some weight), 31 mostly going for girls in their early 20's, tallish (6'0 by a hair), not lots of money (grad student), pretty charismatic, mostly female friends...

Also, for some reason, the hotter the girl, the better I do. Bizarre, I know, but true. I once had an actual model give me her number, unprompted, on a train. Then she flaked on me, of course.

But all of this -- flakes, girls who think I'm gay, and girls with boyfriends -- is all I get! Which means I get lots of numbers and random party make-outs or extended unresolved sexual tension with girls with boyfriends, but I almost never get to actual sex or even (god forbid) dating. This is really starting to piss me off.

Any bright ideas what's going on here? If I didn't know me, my best guess would be that I'm just too scared to go sexual when I'm in my social circle, but I actually have gone sexual earlier with these girls that have thought I'm gay *after* I do so. Help?

Thanks man -- this free answer thing is awesome. And I love the blog.

Definitely not normal results. It's hard to know a whole just going from a page of text, but I'll take a stab it it.

1. Ask yourself what value girls with boyfriends are getting from you that other girls wouldn't? Typically, girls who are in long-distance relationships or who are on the rocks with their boyfriend really enjoy receiving a lot of validation and attention from random guys because they're currently not getting enough from their boyfriend. Typically they like receiving this in the form of flirting, joking and maybe some light touching, but not much. At the same time, they ARE receiving security and sex, so they AREN'T looking for that in a guy. If they're loving you, then you're probably fitting that mold perfectly: providing tons of validation, and flirty fun, but you're not pushing them or making them uncomfortable by advancing on them sexually.

2. Flaking is almost ALWAYS due to a lack of personal connection with girls. Typically this happens because guys are trying too hard to be entertaining and interesting and not actually talking to a girl like a real person, and not showing themselves as a real person.

3. Girls call guys gay in a legitimate way when they're both a) flirting constantly and b) not being dominant or leading.

4. I can tell you from years of experience, guys who pop out of the Mystery Method camp almost ALWAYS have the problem of being too heavy on attraction game and too light on comfort. Common symptoms include: rampant flaking, people thinking they're gay, quick hook ups here and there, but a retention rate.

So, when you look a level deeper, the pieces fit together and make sense. You're too busy validating girls through flirting, playfulness, teasing fun, and not actually 1) getting to know them on a personal level and 2) not pursuing them in a dominant and leading fashion. My guess is that your escalation and closes are probably weak.

Again, no way I can be 100% sure without seeing you or meeting you. On the surface these results are weird, but when you kind of put the puzzle pieces together, they seem to fit a bit. There could be other factors going on, but I'd be willing to bet that at least 75% of the problem falls into the two things described above.

Dude, that makes a lot of sense to me. I think I may be overcorrecting -- my natural tendency is to be what you call a "type II" guy -- before learning any game, I used to get friendzoned like 100% of the time. (Though part of this was lifestyle/appearance -- right now I need to lose a little weight, but I used to need to lose a LOT of weight, finally hit the gym to take care of it.) And I used to be one of those guys who was all like emotions-on-the-sleeve/too vulnerable and needy/scare girls away. So when I started learning some game, I probably swung way too far to the opposite direction, to attraction with no connection. Thanks!

Totally. The compensation is very common for Type II's. Your results are just a little less common than usual.

Glad to help!