FR: german insta-date
I approached this girl, while she was sitting by herself. I opened with, "I liked your scarf and wanted to say hello". We made a bunch of fluff talk. I teased her, about being German, about how she didn't really come here to study English, but to visit the US etc.
After the preliminaries and some general rapport talk, I told her that I was going to get a sandwich and if she wanted to come. I don't know if this was important or not. But I actually didn't plan this. I was going to get her email (I already found out that she had her German number, by bringing up cell phones). But just as I was telling her that I got to go, I told her, "Hey, I was going to get a sandwich. Do you want to go with me?". She promptly agreed. I kept up the fun vibe (over gaming?). When we got to the sandwich place, I looked her in the eye and tried to take her hand. She immediately got nervous and pulled her hand back. She asked me, "What are you doing?". I told her, "I find you cute". She said, "Sorry, I don't like it". I let the silence linger for a bit and then talked casually again. I suddenly realized that I was making way more effort than her. In my mind, it went like this, "Fuck this. Why am I making so much effort?". I remembered how Krauser said that as time goes by, he reduces his investment and lets the girl do the talking. I started doing that.
I stopped talking, unless she said something. I stared at the sky, at the building, at everything. She frequently looked at me, but I ignored her. She made a mess while eating the sandwich, which made her a bit self-conscious. I teased her a bit about that. In general, I started withdrawing attention. I did give her hooks to join me for activities though. For example, she said she loved dancing. Sometime later, I told her, "I'm going to some salsa clubs and she could come if she wanted to." No dice. There were a couple more such instances. In one of those cases, I didn't invite her. Just told her that my friends and I were going next weekend to this place that she was interested in visiting. She didn't take any of the baits (disinterest?). Once I withdrew interest though, she was giving stronger eye contact. When we said goodbye, for just a moment, I thought I saw disappointment in her eyes.
What do you think I did wrong?
(This post was last modified: 05-12-2011 11:03 AM by shadow.)