This one kind of eludes me....I understand the basics and that you need to banter well, tease and just show you are "not the average bear" (without going overboard) but I had another date this weekend with a solid 8 and got another Dr. John text saying "oh you are a great guy but I do not feel there was any chemistry. You are just not my type."

I NEVER get this from say 6's and most 7's. I could have alot of those women but hell, I did not get into all this pickup stuff to continue to date the same type of women. The 8 to 9 crowd it happens alot. I have even recorded conversations and female friends that I play them back to tell me that they cannot understand it.

I just don't get it if we are together for while, she responds well to the kino, even sips a drink from my glass, asks me questions, responses well to the teases and seems to want more of them but yet I get these Dear Johns...

I know that the hotter the women, the pickier she will be - because she can. No one can deny that. She can choose and pick who she wants even into her 40's for its just supply and demand.

I have rarely found any of the community "drive her temperate up" Tyler Durden/Sinn stuff to work to build chemistry if it is just not there i.e - "make the chemistry happen."

So what are your guys thoughts?

Chemistry basically means sexual tension. She wasn't turned on. Sounds like she had fun and enjoyed the flirting for what it was but didn't want to take it anywhere.

I used to have almost the exact same sticking point - I think for me the thing that changed was being able to escalate more smoothly.

(05-10-2011 02:48 AM)Jon Wrote:  Chemistry basically means sexual tension. She wasn't turned on.

Ok, I understand that. That is kind of a given.

So if there is continuous chemistry between me and the 6-7 crowd, how can get the chemistry going with the 8 and 9 crowd then? This has been a battle for me ever since I started with all this stuff years ago.

What does it take besides money, height, looks, social status? I mean all this pua stuff about teaching game was supposed be about personality. So is this all untrue then? Is it that you need to have money, height, looks, social status AND IN ADDITION a personality to win at this? Meaning that even if you do not have money, looks or status you are doomed to fail with beautiful women no matter what you do?

If so then we have a real problem here with what we are being taught (Entropy excluded).

First, it's likely that on a subconscious level you are more confident with the 6s and 7s, so you are more likely to pull the trigger and escalate, therefore they feel more chemistry.

Second - if she is out on a date with you, obviously you are good looking and tall enough for her. You wouldn't have gotten this far otherwise. If she is going out of her way to meet with you, she wants the date to go well, she wants there to be chemistry. With money and social status - unless you are underselling your lifestyle, it shouldn't be an issue. Money is DEFINITELY not a necessity with (most) attractive women. I have met plenty of super hot women dating broke ass guys. Social status is so subjective that it's really about what cues you are sending off about where you see yourself.

I seriously suspect that the issue you are having is you are treating the really hot women differently, whether consciously or not.

(05-10-2011 03:02 AM)Jon Wrote:  First, it's likely that on a subconscious level you are more confident with the 6s and 7s, so you are more likely to pull the trigger and escalate, therefore they feel more chemistry.

Second - if she is out on a date with you, obviously you are good looking and tall enough for her. You wouldn't have gotten this far otherwise. If she is going out of her way to meet with you, she wants the date to go well, she wants there to be chemistry. With money and social status - unless you are underselling your lifestyle, it shouldn't be an issue. Money is DEFINITELY not a necessity with (most) attractive women. I have met plenty of super hot women dating broke ass guys. Social status is so subjective that it's really about what cues you are sending off about where you see yourself.

I seriously suspect that the issue you are having is you are treating the really hot women differently, whether consciously or not.

Good call. I thought that might be the case as well. I even had a female friend "watch me" from a distance and recorded some interactions as well. She could not figure it out and neither could any one else from the recordings.

Due to my work load, online is a good way for me to meet women. So I would say 75% of these women I met via online. I look just like my pictures, I post my real height and all the particulars you would think could jepardize an interaction. I am 100% straight on it. Yet, even with the truth it goes off the cliff.

So most of my friends think its that the chick was just not into me as physically as she thought.

This dating thing is so damn hard...lol..

Cool. I'd advise you try to fit in some time for night game - the real advantage as a learning experience is that you are in a situation where the girl can eject at any time. On a date, you have no idea when she lost interest. In a bar, you know more or less when the girl decides she's not into you. The overall pattern of how your interactions go will give you a sense of where you are screwing up. Problem with an online date is that she's not gonna get up and leave in the middle so you have no idea whether you are escalating too quickly or too slowly, or your body language is off right out of the gate, or what.

Also, with online dating, make sure not to OVERSELL your income so that you don't wind up with gold-diggers. Generally speaking, if you aren't bragging about being rich, I don't think you need to worry about gold-diggers though.

It's hard to say for sure, but it does sound like whatever is killing the interactions has something to do with how you are acting on the dates, not your lifestyle. I can't know what it is based on just this conversation, but that's where you should focus.