Does anyone else feel guilty starting a relationship with a girl when you're 99.9% sure you're not going to marry them?

Thoughts?

Haha! No, why would I date somebody that I KNOW I whant to get married with. That kind of decision takes time and effort, keep everything simple. Why do you have to get ahead on time? And just dating for having fun is ok, a lot of people do it just for that.

There's a girl I'm thinking of dating while I'm in med school. She's cool, I like her more than 95% of girls I meet, she's cute, she's fun, and she's understanding that I've got to work all the time. She would be great for me right now considering I don't have a lot of time to go out and meet new girls. BUT - I'm also fairly sure I wouldn't marry her. I want to date a ton more girls before I get married, and be ABSOLUTELY sure that I've met the girl for me.

The problem is, girls have a ticking biological clock. They need to get married faster than us, and a lot of them are worried that their looks fade as they get older and their (gulp...bad word coming) value decreases, while this is not as big of a problem for most guys.

This girl is 23 years old, I could see myself dating her for the next couple years as I'm in med school, but I would feel bad eating up 2 of her prime years.

There isnt something like your solemate, "the right one", " the true love". That is a BS concept from hollywood movies. Love usually just develops over time. If you date her, you might end up in a year long relationship and finally marry her. Or she might dump you after 3 dates. Who knows?

Just date that girl and have a nice time with her. Relationships arent all about marrying and having children (Who thinks like that anyway except religious fundamentalists?). You dont know what the future brings. I would just focus on gaining experience and having a good time.

(05-03-2011 06:20 PM)Extropy Wrote:  There isnt something like your solemate, "the right one", " the true love". That is a BS concept from hollywood movies. Love usually just develops over time. If you date her, you might end up in a year long relationship and finally marry her. Or she might dump you after 3 dates. Who knows?

Just date that girl and have a nice time with her. Relationships arent all about marrying and having children (Who thinks like that anyway except religious fundamentalists?). You dont know what the future brings. I would just focus on gaining experience and having a good time.

Yea, I guess...maybe I'm just a commit-a-phobe. Or maybe it's just still of my nice-guy talking. I dunno. Either way, I appreciate the response.

That or your Jewish guilt... (or all of the above).

(05-03-2011 06:20 PM)Extropy Wrote:  There isnt something like your solemate, "the right one", " the true love". That is a BS concept from hollywood movies.

Disagree wholeheartedly. Anyone who has that opinion hasn't yet met their soulmate/true love. Just sayin'.

(05-03-2011 06:20 PM)Extropy Wrote:  Relationships arent all about marrying and having children (Who thinks like that anyway except religious fundamentalists?).

What's wrong with religious fundamentalists? I have a number of friends in the immigrated Dutch reformed Christian community who I used to work with, and in their community, you don't "date", you court (Date to marry). They have a tonne of kids and are some of the happiest couples I've ever met. Maybe we could learn something from them .. Just a thought.

As far as dating girls I know I'm not going to marry: That's why I never put 'boyfriend/girlfriend' labels on anything. It saves a whole lot of hassle and heartbreak.

(05-04-2011 05:03 AM)Mark Wrote:  That or your Jewish guilt... (or all of the above).

lol, stupid Jewish guilt! I feel so guilty that I can't just get over it...Ah shit! I just did it again!

Too bad Bernie Madoff didn't have a little of my grandparents blood running through him...that cold-hearted prick.

FUCK, I NEED TO STUDY. NO MORE DATING ADVICE FOR ME TODAY!!!!

peace, bitches...

I give those titties 4 thumbs down.

Just tell her you aren't looking for anything super serious, but you like her and wanna date.

How many jewish med students are on this board?