I just finished reading No More Mr. Nice Guy and found one of its core concepts to be true for me: I always had a bad relationship with my father.

My mother was always kind, my father was strict. So I started to resent him and his strictness, rigor and authority, I always strived to be different, to be his antitheis, thereby rejecting normal male virtues such as courage, strength and pride, and turning myself into your stereotypical Nice Guy.

Realizing this, and where my ill-founded beliefs came from, helped me to better myself and to accept that I, not he or anyone or anything else, am responsible for my shortcomings.


Anyone here who has similar experiences?

I began to notice this when I started coaching. Every single guy I worked with either had divorced parents, or a bad relationship with their father, or didn't know their father. Then I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and it made sense.

I ran a poll on a PUA forum a year or so ago asking people what their relationship with their father was. Only something like 15% said they felt they had a good relationship with him.

My Dad worked a tonne when I was a kid. He was never around, and when he was, he was the disciplinarian. The only memories of my father from my childhood is him punishing me. We have never been close. In public school I had few friends and was picked on frequently. I was the stereotypical 'wouldn't-hurt-a-fly' kid.

My parents split up a few months ago. Whether the relationship with my Dad and my experiences growing up are related is something I rarely consider.

Never had Dad around... used to hate him for not being there as a kid and would just not saying anything when I would see him (very little).

He moved up here and we very weirdly randomly met each other at the theater... I decided to forgive him and we started a decent relationship for about a year and a half.

I finally said "I love you" and gave him a hug. Right before he died of pancreatic cancer (diagnosed and died in 2 months) a few months ago.

Reading NMMNG right now... so glad I found it (via Mark)... every few pages I have an epiphany, I can't even blast through it I gotta pause and think. Great stuff I recommend it to everyone.

Father issues and how you deal with them - much more important it appears to be. I am struggling with women and have a bad relationship with my stepfather; every now and then I have nightmares of him since my childhood. It's subconscious.

My parents are divorced. My dad's a good guy and we get along, but he's basically the definition of a Nice Guy and is totally emotionally frail and unavailable. He's pussywhipped by my step-mom, and to this day he's incapable of being in the same room with my mom. Not because they hate each other, not because she did anything wrong, but just because he can't handle it emotionally. It's too stressful for him. It's hard to get him to ever talk about how he feels about anything. Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy was like reading a biography about him.

I spent ages 12-19 just me and my mom. If there's one thing I've always naturally been better than pretty much everybody else I know at, it's relating to women emotionally and so-called "comfort game." I attribute most of that to the fact that I spent most of my adolescence living alone with my mom and nobody else.

My parents are divorced as well. I was never close to my Dad (who is shy himself) growing up and had bad memories of him being domineering and hard me when I was in my teens. I think that this along with the fact I was mainly raised by a Mom has a domineering, unpredictable personality had something to do with me growing up as a shy kid. I hate to play the blame game so I still take responsibility for not taking Right Action.

It wasn't until college and discovering the community that I took proactive steps to stop being Mr. Nice Guy. I feel like my twin brother is still in that nice guy role.

Now, I feel that reaching out to my Dad (who I rarely talk to and am not close with) and having a better relationship to my Mom and Step-Dad will allow me to put this behind me.