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Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
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cobrastyle Offline
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Post: #1
Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
- Have a drink or two
I don't even drink to kill Approach Anxiety, its just part of going out and having fun. The whole Pickup 'stay sober all night' dogma is bullshit

- Find a good friend / wingman who pushes you and laughes with you
"Hahaha, that girl just told me to fuck off!" "Haha, what a bitch! But 10 points for the approach, man!"

- Ask yourself: How many of you approaches have you ever regretted? None! Because even if you got blown out, you learnt something or hardened yourself against rejection! (credits to Rob Judge for this thought)

- Listen to some motivational music

- Do not make meeting girls into some epic battle - its the most natural thing in the world! (again credit Rob Judge)

- Remind youself that success with girls is in your own hands!

What are your tips??
05-01-2011 10:44 PM
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DaveyDrama Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
I like to psyche myself up before I go out

- I find that if I don't think I look hot, that I won't have my unshakeable confidence. For myself personally, looking good is like 75+% of what I need to get into the zone. So I like to spend at least an hour getting ready, making sure I'm happy with everything. My hair, facial hair, cologne, breath, clothes, etc.

- While I'm getting ready, I like to psyche myself up with music - usually beats related to picking up/fucking girls - and I play it LOUD

- Remind myself of my past conquests with women. Tell myself I am the best at what I do and remind myself of the hottest girls I've picked up. Allow it to go to my head.

- A couple drinks to loosen up always helps

- Make sure I'm having fun before I worry about trying to pick up girls. If I'm not already enjoying my night, it's gonna be immediately obvious to everyone around me and I won't be in 'The Zone'. If you're not having fun, nothing else matters beyond that.

Facebook - Dave Spence - Friend Request that shit
(This post was last modified: 05-02-2011 02:19 AM by DaveyDrama.)
05-01-2011 11:52 PM
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Tim9000 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
(05-01-2011 10:44 PM)cobrastyle Wrote:  - Have a drink or two
I don't even drink to kill Approach Anxiety, its just part of going out and having fun. The whole Pickup 'stay sober all night' dogma is bullshit
...

I do drink to eliminate social anxiety and I'm pretty sure it has helped me rather than hurt me. I used to be *really* socially anxious doing approaches under almost any circumstance, but over the last six months I've eliminated most of it via behavioral training (i.e. doing lots of approaches and teaching my nervous system that rejection isn't that bad, and I don't really care about the outcome of any particular interaction), but ONLY if I have 1-2 drinks in me. I can see where this might be going: today, I need much less alcohol to kill my social anxiety than I did six months ago, so perhaps sometime soon I'll only need one drink in me to kill it, and later, zero drinks. But I'm not confident that zero drinks will eventually be best. I've always liked people, but alcohol helps me to like people (and vibe with them) even more. It's a fantastic social lubricant. I may *never* be as dynamic socially without alcohol as I can be with at least a little bit in me. I think that's OK.

Tim
05-02-2011 04:42 AM
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Brian Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
The first 300 approaches of your pickup career, do not let a single drop of alcohol in your mouth.

I recently train my best friend in pickup, i had him do 300 direct approaches day game and now he has less AA than 99 percent of the guys i've met in the community.

Personally, the only way to kill AA is to do it without alcohol...lots of it.

affirmation-bullshit, state-bullshit EVERYTHING is bullshit except man up and JUST DO IT
05-02-2011 05:18 AM
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gold panda Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
I know how!

Stop thinking of it as something to conquer Big Grin

60s book actually has some really good stuff that works that addresses exactly this, you should check it out.
05-02-2011 07:15 AM
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cobrastyle Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
(05-02-2011 05:18 AM)Brian Wrote:  The first 300 approaches of your pickup career, do not let a single drop of alcohol in your mouth.

I recently train my best friend in pickup, i had him do 300 direct approaches day game and now he has less AA than 99 percent of the guys i've met in the community.

Personally, the only way to kill AA is to do it without alcohol...lots of it.
hmm, I'd rather start it easy (=drunk) and then make it more difficult (=sober)

(05-02-2011 05:18 AM)Brian Wrote:  affirmation-bullshit, state-bullshit EVERYTHING is bullshit except man up and JUST DO IT
the MAN!!!


(05-02-2011 07:15 AM)gold panda Wrote:  I know how!

Stop thinking of it as something to conquer Big Grin

60s book actually has some really good stuff that works that addresses exactly this, you should check it out.
cool, might check that out

youre probably right that AA is not something to conquer or fight against. The point is in having AA, accepting it and doing the approach anyway!
05-03-2011 12:00 AM
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saito Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
Going out with your friends can help. If ye are in good mood, AA is impossible.
05-03-2011 02:22 AM
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Brian Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
You can start easy and get drunk to do it but you are wasting your time. The primary goal of going out is to learn game. You get laid is a by product of learning game. Stop thinking of short term satisfaction and work on long term growth.
05-03-2011 04:36 AM
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gold panda Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
(05-03-2011 04:36 AM)Brian Wrote:  You can start easy and get drunk to do it but you are wasting your time. The primary goal of going out is to learn game. You get laid is a by product of learning game. Stop thinking of short term satisfaction and work on long term growth.

BALONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is nothing to LEARN. There is NO GAME. Its all NUMBERS GAME.

Maybe read a few of entropy's recent blog posts. Or read 60 years of challenge, perhaps Rob Judge, or Aaron sleazy. if you are so inclined to follow gurus blindly.

All that needs to be done is dealing with your anxieties (opening, escalate). Going up and saying "Hi" is the difficult part. After that its pretty much random.
05-03-2011 09:50 AM
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DaveyDrama Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Tips to conquer Approach Anxiety
(05-03-2011 09:50 AM)gold panda Wrote:  
(05-03-2011 04:36 AM)Brian Wrote:  You can start easy and get drunk to do it but you are wasting your time. The primary goal of going out is to learn game. You get laid is a by product of learning game. Stop thinking of short term satisfaction and work on long term growth.

All that needs to be done is dealing with your anxieties (opening, escalate). Going up and saying "Hi" is the difficult part. After that its pretty much random.

I disagree wholeheartedly with the last sentence. You still have to know positive/confident body language and how to flirt and initiate a good conversation. Saying "Hi" might be the difficult part, but it's everything after that point that's important.

Facebook - Dave Spence - Friend Request that shit
05-03-2011 11:36 AM
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