Even though I have posted mad amounts on this forum I have yet to start a thread. Here it is.

When you get better you discover yourself in odd situations. Situations that require choices that freak you out because the fact your making that choice shows how far you've come on the journey.

I want you guys on this thread to share (and pat yourself on your backs) for having these 'problems'.

I'll kick it off....

A quality problem Im faced now with is deciding whither to give up my fuck-buddy style relationships and balls-out delve into something more serious and enriching. Having 2 fb's is great and all that but I feel Im growing up now and want to do something more meaningful in relationship-land. Ive had serious gf's before but since Ive dicsovered the world of shameless empty sexual relations, that I can diarise in between my self-centre lifestyle, I've taken myself by design to this fantastic place and I do (did?) enjoy it. Im now starting to wonder if its really all I signed up for.

5 years ago I wouldnt have dreamed this problem was possible for me to have.

Dont feel you have to post quality problems solely on this thread. Comment on others and see where it goes.

I have 3-4 girls in other countries who are girlfriend material, and I've had to leave them behind. In fact, one of them I could actually see myself moving there one day to give things a shot with her... she's that awesome.

It's painful to leave each time, but I keep reminding myself that I'm young, that I want to travel and see/do more, and there's plenty of time in the future to settle down and get serious.

I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and wake up covered in bitches

(04-19-2011 11:22 AM)TheBoss Wrote:  I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and wake up covered in bitches

Mark likes this.

(04-19-2011 09:10 AM)Mark Wrote:  I have 3-4 girls in other countries who are girlfriend material, and I've had to leave them behind. In fact, one of them I could actually see myself moving there one day to give things a shot with her... she's that awesome.

It's painful to leave each time, but I keep reminding myself that I'm young, that I want to travel and see/do more, and there's plenty of time in the future to settle down and get serious.

Don't you get scared about "losing" that girl that's so awesome? I know that the community preaches that we have to have an abundance mentality but in your personal experience is so easy to find another AWESOME girl? And in the case your answer is: yes, how do you keep interested in a girl that is so easily replaceable? After all you can go out and find another one, why do you have to keep her interested in you and pursue her?
Unfortunately in my own experience is not that easy to find awesome girls, to be honest I think it is the hardest part of PU, I've had some FBs that are good for having sex and share some moments but I don't actually click with them in an emotional and/or intelectual level, it's that kind of sex that is mechanical, without "magic". At the same time I have to say that I've learned a lot about women and myself in those interactions, I hope they are gonna help me find awesome girls.

How could I lose her? If I could lose her, then she wouldn't be that awesome, would she? Girls like this are beyond losing. I mean, yeah, they may meet other guys and get married, but we'll always be special to each other, and we'll always be able to be a part of each other's lives. In the long run, that's far more significant that just saying I can fuck them.

And I don't have to keep her interested. She IS interested. I don't have to do anything. If I did, then she wouldn't really be girlfriend material, would she?

Is it easy to find an amazing girl? That depends what you mean by easy. Does it happen often? I guess not. But is it difficult? Not really. In my mind, one of two things happens with these girls: 1) we end up together; 2) I end up finding someone better. It's a win/win.

It sounds like you still come from a deeply-engrained mindset that women are something that need to be won and conquered and continually convinced to like you. A girl who you have to convince to like you on a regular basis is not a girl you want to be spending time with.

(04-23-2011 07:14 PM)Mark Wrote:  It sounds like you still come from a deeply-engrained mindset that women are something that need to be won and conquered and continually convinced to like you. A girl who you have to convince to like you on a regular basis is not a girl you want to be spending time with.

What I mean is that I've dedicated almost 4 years of my life to get better with women and has been a lot of work. I'm still making mistakes, I'm still learning. Before PU I was the biggest AFC on earth, no telephone numbers, no dates, no sex. Of course I evaluate women at the same time they are evaluating me and I can dump girls if I don't like them BUT I've made a huge effort to reach that position in my life. Think about it, if we dedicate so much time and effort to get better with women is because we want to have quality women in our lives. Of course that a woman needs to win me over too, otherwise I wouldn't be with her; but what is really hard is to keep women happy. I know you are young and maybe you haven't had a LTR that involves living with a woman in the same house for a long period of time, after 3 years the passion begins to fade (in general) and women begin to complain (in general). It's hard, they are never happy. I know I'm generalizing a lot but that's my experience and the experience of other married guys friends of mine. I think that that saying that goes like this: Women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them, come from that kind of experiences, lol!

Guys keep this one rolling I love these conversations.

Im somewhere between you both on this issue. I love that attitude Mark but I also totally relate to Leo here.

(04-24-2011 12:07 AM)Leo Wrote:  I know you are young and maybe you haven't had a LTR that involves living with a woman in the same house for a long period of time, after 3 years the passion begins to fade (in general) and women begin to complain (in general). It's hard, they are never happy. I know I'm generalizing a lot but that's my experience and the experience of other married guys friends of mine. I think that that saying that goes like this: Women, you can't live with them and you can't live without them, come from that kind of experiences, lol!

To my mind that's a great example of a woman who is NOT worth being with for the long term. If she's not as committed to making the relationship work as you are, and expects you to keep her happy, send her packing, especially if you don't have kids. That's not to say long term relationships don't take work, but it's not work in the same way that getting a cold approach right is work. In a cold approach, you have no right to expect that the girl will help you out at all. She doesn't know who you are and if she's skeptical, and giving you a hard time, fair enough. However, a relationship can't work unless both people try to make this work. Insisting on that will kill a lot of relationships, but I think it leads to better ones in the long term.

I know a lot of relationships that work exactly how you described, but it's by no means how all relationships work. I have a friend whose fiance shelled out thousands of dollars to rent a place in lake tahoe for his birthday so that all his friends would come (granted she makes really good money as a corporate lawyer, so she could afford it), I knew another girl who was introducing her fiance to her family and flew out a day ahead and said to her redneck cousins "my fiance is jewish, but ask me all the questions you would ask him, and don't you dare bring it up when he gets there." Those are women who put a lot of effort into long term relationships.

Damn this post hits home... 2 years ago I could not imagine some of the things i have experienced this past year. From seeing two girls go down on each other in my living room to turning down beautiful married women who are begging me to please them. It would never have been possible without taking the time to not only better my communication skills, my "PU skills", but most importantly my self.

Once it all starts to come together it feels great. So many guys focus on women but I'm starting to realize that it all comes down to focusing on yourself first. Sure I started bettering myself with the main goal in mind of getting women but as I continue along my journey I'm starting to realize that women are just a side dish.

Bettering yourself physically, and emotionally translates into every area of your life. As your entire life transforms and evolves you no longer have to search for women to be with. They find you and willingly want to be part of the ride. The point is you control the ride and can make it as fun and great as you want it to be.