I was so desperate to get laid and have even the slightest bit of validation from a girl that I fucked this dirty hippy girl that hadn't had a new pair of pants for years, and in fact, that night had to duct tape them together in the crotch.

Not even kidding.

Not sure if that qualifies, you said you wanted pathetic stuff that guys did to try and get laid. Whereas this was just pathetic period.

(04-18-2011 08:42 AM)Soul_Fire Wrote:  I was so desperate to get laid and have even the slightest bit of validation from a girl that I fucked this dirty hippy girl that hadn't had a new pair of pants for years, and in fact, that night had to duct tape them together in the crotch.

Not even kidding.

Not sure if that qualifies, you said you wanted pathetic stuff that guys did to try and get laid. Whereas this was just pathetic period.

If she was hot it's not that pathetic; and in any case she's the "apthetic" one here

(04-18-2011 03:21 AM)Eros Wrote:  Actually, that's not true, I have one that definitely qualifies.

So in my first year of college I broke up with my first girlfriend. For some reason I thought it was cool that we stayed in the same friend group of me, 5 guys and her. We all lived in the same dorm so we hung out pretty much all the time.

After a couple of months she started getting super flirty with one of the guys. We would drink in someone's room, and they would be unsubtly making eyes at each other. Then we would go out to a bar and while our whole group would head to the dancefloor, the two of them would inevitably end up off to the side. I just tolerated this shit for weeks, until one night they were dancing completely separately from the group, and there was no pretense of dancing in a group. I grabbed my ex and went to talk (read: yell) at her outside. We fought about her right to do something like this, and I told her if she cared about me she would accept how much pain this was causing me and not do it. This was totally true, but I should've just walked away.

Later that night our group walked back to the dorms, and I basically hung out on her floor to make sure the guy didn't go to her room. He didn't that night, but another night a similar thing happened, and I actually went to her room and knocked on the door. I heard rustling inside and the sound of someone obviously trying to hide. She opened the door halfway and pretended nothing was happening. I pushed in to the room and opened her closet to find the guy there (fully clothed luckily). It was this incredibly stupid and awkward moment where we all knew what was going on. I couldn't just let it happen though, because I knew if I went back to my room I would only be imagining what was going on downstairs.

I couldn't be everywhere at all times, and eventually they slept together. She got really upset because she'd really liked him and wanted a relationship. I could sense something was wrong so I confronted her as to what was the matter. She told me they'd hooked up and I tried to be cool with it but a few days later yelled at her.

She got mad at me for betraying her because I'd promise I'd be ok with it no matter what she told me. Fair enough.

Anyway, we're still not friends, so this story is not as funny as it is pathetic. I've moved on from the situation and her, so I can look back at it with some sense of how absurd it was.

Oh yeah and I knew her email password so I used that to see if she was emailing the guy! Now that's some of that insane stalker shit!

Haha, nice! It always seems so logical at the time. Good to hear i'm not the only one who's done crazy shit like that. Pretty sure i've read a few Greek tragedies that've started this way. Funny enough, the fallout with "my girl" turned out the same way. Dude didn't want a relationship with her and things got pretty rough for this chick (for other reasons I won't get into). I think I was the lucky one in the end. We're actually pretty good friends now. I keep my distance though and don't see her as much as I used to (i'm also on the other side of the world now, so its easier ), definitely don't wanna repeat performance.

When I was a teenager, I anonymously left a girl a stuffed animal. On Valentine's day. With a love note. Shockingly, this did not work. Double-shockingly, everyone knew it was me. Whoops.

@machiaveli that just made me think of something I forgot.

I remember being around 13 and buying this girl who worked at BlockBuster video around the corner from my house some flowers. Funny thing is, I barely knew her name and we only had a few brief chats. I go to the flower store, put her misspelled name on the card with my phone number. While I'm in school the next day, the manager calls my dad. I get home from school and he tells me he got a call from the manager about the flowers and that nobody by that name works there.

Come to think of it, ANY story either in my younger days or college days that involved me buying flowers always ended up bad.