Mark, I've read sometimes this phrase in your articles, comments, posts, etc,: I wasn't expecting to have sex with her. Do you think that that attitude makes a HUGE difference when you are interacting with a girl and you DO have sex with her? And the other way around, when you are EXPECTING to have sex with the girl (or you care too much about her) things go down hill?

In that it represents that I'm not being needy or desperate, I guess so.

Being incredibly persistent and pushy will work on a minority of girls. I just found a long time ago, that I don't really enjoy the sex as much if it feels that I've somehow pressured a girl into having it. I prefer to just escalate and let whatever happens happen.

Something that really made me wince in The Game was the freeze out 'techniques' to punish a girl if she is avoiding sex (or anything else you want her to do). Pretty gross.
Its not that I think its morally wrong (or right) to do this but the feeling your going to get from it is feeling like getting laid is an uphill struggle. It will also train yourself to think this is what normal is. Its not.

Ok look at the difference here:

Open, Neg, DHV, Neg, Story, Qualify, Neg, etc. etc. Jealousy thread, Logistics, Escalate, Freeze out, Sex.

or

Open, Chat, Tease, Chat, Laughing, RewardRelate, Tease, Logisitcs, Laughing, Chat, Horny chat, Escalate, Sex. Wake up and do it all over again.

The second is more fun.

Yeah, one thing I've NEVER understood is the whole idea of LMR. I pretty much almost never get LMR and never have. I think a big reason why is because I've always made it apparent that I'm OK with the idea that she doesn't have to sleep with me if she doesn't want.

(04-16-2011 06:29 PM)Mark Wrote:  Yeah, one thing I've NEVER understood is the whole idea of LMR. I pretty much almost never get LMR and never have. I think a big reason why is because I've always made it apparent that I'm OK with the idea that she doesn't have to sleep with me if she doesn't want.

Do you mean that you pretty much always have sex when you bring a girl home, or that when you don't have sex when you bring a girl home, it's all good as well and you didn't view the situation as "LMR"?

It's happened twice that I did not have sex with a girl while I did "sleep" with her. First time was with a girl who lived in my corridor in Sweden. She had recently decided that she was not going to have drunk one-night stands anymore, and that's why she didn't want sex. I was okay with it and enjoyed escalating and turning her on to the point where she wouldn't go further. She was really excited, she just didn't want sex. We ended up getting a relationship and we were both happy we didn't have sex the first night.

Second time was the time I talked about elsewhere, with the girl that freaked out about her friend and cried and shit.

I'd say we usually end up having it. Maybe 75% of the time. I think if a girl feels comfortable and safe with you, then you're either going to have it or it has nothing to do with you. When guys get LMR, it's because a girl's not comfortable enough with them, not because they don't want to have it.

I had a really frustrating night recently. went back to a girls house who I have slept with before. Did it at night, but didnt manage to finish.

In the morning when she woke up she wasn't 'in the mood' so I didnt actually manage to finish from the night before, I was so jacked up it was horrible. Next morning could be a future problem for me after a night out - bad breath, dry mouth, generally feeling/looking rough, greasy hair.

Has anyone else been rejected the next morning after getting it the night before? I dont think Ive experienced it much, not that i can remember anyway. Im pretty sure a big part of it was me looking so rough.

Might start getting my hair shorter as I find when it is, when you wake up you always seem to look fresher - less hair to look manky/greasy basically. How your hair looks always seems to be the dealbreaker. God damn my hair that gets greasy so quickly. I might have to start bringing a mini toothbrush around with me as well!

(04-16-2011 09:51 PM)Mark Wrote:  When guys get LMR, it's because a girl's not comfortable enough with them, not because they don't want to have it.

I understand what your are saying Mark, but it's incredible for me that I've had 2 girls really aroused in bed BUT they are not comfortable enough to have sex with me. In one case she wanted sex badly but felt guilty because of her current BF and the another girl was still thinking about her ex-BF. Obviously I can't take it personally.
What I like about your positon of not expecting to have sex with her is that it takes a lot of presure off your shoulders. Well, it is easy when you don't like the girl that much but when you like the girl a lot of course it's harder to do. But this position communicates that you are not desperate and needy, as you said before, and IMO it's related to detachment as well.

You're worrying too much about your looks. Everybody looks/smells like shit the morning after. It's expected. In fact, she was probably thinking the same thing, "OMG, I look/smell terrible, I hope he doesn't notice."

Some people just don't like morning sex. I've come across a number of girls like that.

(04-17-2011 04:18 AM)Leo Wrote:  

(04-16-2011 09:51 PM)Mark Wrote:  When guys get LMR, it's because a girl's not comfortable enough with them, not because they don't want to have it.

I understand what your are saying Mark, but it's incredible for me that I've had 2 girls really aroused in bed BUT they are not comfortable enough to have sex with me. In one case she wanted sex badly but felt guilty because of her current BF and the another girl was still thinking about her ex-BF. Obviously I can't take it personally.
What I like about your positon of not expecting to have sex with her is that it takes a lot of presure off your shoulders. Well, it is easy when you don't like the girl that much but when you like the girl a lot of course it's harder to do. But this position communicates that you are not desperate and needy, as you said before, and IMO it's related to detachment as well.

Yeah, sometimes crap like that happens too. I just shrug and go to sleep. Haha...