So last night I went to this open college party with some friends and figured I'd try some pick up. I chilled with my friends for a bit until I saw this girl I thought was pretty cute talking to her friend. her friend left so I worked up the nerve to approach the cute one. I went in with a "hey whats up?", which was greeted by a "my friend called fives on that seat you should go". I reacted quickly with a "I'll give your friend her seat back but let me talk to you for 20 seconds", which she was okay with (this bought me some time) .

so I introduced myself and got her to tell me her name, then immediately went to getting her to talk. I normally guess things about the girl to get them to react to me, so I guessed she was a freshman and she lived in the state I was from. I was surprisingly right and eventually found out that she lived in the same dorm I lived in last year and that she lives in the same town I lived in back at home.

This whole time I was feeling great because I had her opening up until out of no where I realized I had nothing else to talk about, but I saw my friends close by so I told her "come with me your meeting my friends". she agreed to it which bought me some more time, but I still didn't know what to say next. so out of desperation I asked her if she wanted to dance (there was a dance floor in the basement) to this she said "I have to find my friends".

So my question is was there anything I could have done better to have kept with me longer? what could I have talked about?

Anything, really. Very broad question and hard to answer. But here's a pointer to get you started.

Asking her questions with factual answers is fine to get things started, but you want to switch to questions about feelings and something personal as soon as possible to get her talking about more interesting things. So for instance:

"What year are you?"
"Freshman."
"That's cool. I loved my freshman year, I had so much fun. What have you loved most about it so far?"

Chances are, that's going to be an involved answer with stories, feeling and other personal stuff that you can work with.

There are a few tricks to avoid running out of things to talk

One would be the old Juggler method to use something she said and talk about it.


Another one would be making a list at home of 10 things you like to talk about and then just talk about it. Doesnt matter if it is out of the blue

Making statesments instead of asking questions is allready pretty good. You might want to make bolder statements than about her living conditions thought

Something I like to do is state or assume things about her. It peaks her interest and pushes her into responding and give more into the relationship. "Oh you look like you're in the fashion industry." "Omg, like I almost totally was but I'm more in this industry."
Something along those stereotypical lines.

I like to view conversation in a very simple way. There is surface level conversation and deeper conversation. Typically you start at the surface and drill deeper. Don't be afraid of small talk, I used to think small talk was stupid but now I love it because I know that I can take almost any small talk and drill deeper. Small talk makes people feel comfortable. Plus it's less about the words and questions and more just about the fact that you are interacting. Small talk is the perfect time to display your positive energy, vibe, confidence, posture, eye contact, vocal tone, etc. Ask about Work, Hobbies, where they live, School, whatever. Small talk is stupid easy, just be comfortable with it even though you might feel like it's shallow and not deep enough. Practice small talking with random people throughout the day, not just women, everyone! The guy serving you coffee, the old woman waiting at the same bus stop, your co-workers, etc. Practice this until making small talk with people is second nature. Then practice drilling deeper and getting people to open up. Usually the way to get someone to open up on a deeper level is to share something deeper about yourself. Sometimes you can jump right into deep talk, ie "Hi! Nice to meet you, so what's your deal are you happy with your life?" But that's a whole other subject. blah blah blah, ramble ramble ramble.

Regards,
Soul_Fire