It seems that we are going in circles about this subject Mark, Lol! IDK man, I see it more about being understanding
about her fears instead of seeing it like I prioritize
her above myself. In my 3 years in the community I've had some experiences with different women, yeah; some of them have sex with you after few minutes of interaction, for others it takes more time. Are just the first kind of women worth it of your attention and sex? For example, I've dated 2 girls that were betrayed and they were EXTREMELY affected for this reason, they were terrified of being betrayed again, they really needed professional help but I didn't take their fear to start a new relationship personally, I didn't think that they were playing games like a way of making fun of me but just like a way to "make sure" that I was interested in them. Did these relationships pan out? No, they didn't because as soon as I noticed how sick these girls were I just moved on, it's not worth it to invest so much time with girls that are so scared about the furture but I could understand
the reason of their fear and tried to deal with it. I've met women in this journey of PU that have told me that they haven't had sex for YEARS, why? Because they don't trust men anymore, because they have been betrayed and suffered a lot IF
I decide to invest time in any of these women am I priotizing them over me or am I being UNDERSTANDING about their situation? I remember when you were hitting on Erika Awakening, my God you invested so much time and effort on that girl (if I'm not wrong who decided to don't have sex anymore, yuck!) until you were able to seduce her with a ton of comfort and emotional connection, were you priotizing her over you or were you understanding about her situaion and decided to make an effort to seduce her? And there are other factors, how about if the girl that you are hitting on is not interested in casual sex BUT you like her, you enjoy her company and you want to get to know her better, how about if she's not that kind of girl? Are you just going to move on because she doesn't have sex with you right away? A lot of guys say that if a woman if playing games or doesn't put out quickly she's not really interested in you. I don't think so, I think she can be scared, distrust men, or even more be really interested in you, etc, etc. Is it your business? No, not at all, but if you like her and women are emotional creatures why not make her feel comfortable and secure with you? I thought that's what you tried to say in your: http://www.practicalpickup.com/passion-for-the-process
In that article you even say: Learn to love the games they play.
Now it seems that you have a zero tolerance about those games. Everybody has the right to change their mind, don't take me wrong, if now you don't want to deal with those games anymore I totally understand it and respect it, but that wasn't you position before. You even say that you prefer to deal with older women because they don't play games http://www.practicalpickup.com/the-guide-to-older-women
Well, I think older women don't play games because they know they can't do it anymore, they are not so attractive anymore, their time is short. What a difference when you deal with a young girl in her 20s, she has so many options, she can pick and choose, especially if she's hot. Are you gonna take her games personally? Are you gonna put all your eggs in one basket? Are you gonna get desperate and needy? Of course not, I just play dumb and along and I get the girl, that's all. And to be honest I've met some women in their 30s that do the same shit: scheduling games, phone tag, playing hard to get, etc, etc. It's their way to feel secure about you, they really believe that if they make you work hard they are gonna get you.
I think that somehow you can compare playing along with her games with the same attitude you have when she's shit-testing you, are you gonna take it seriously? Are you gonna be reactive? are you gonna get mad? Or are you gonna show her that you are unreactive 'cause you are confident about yourself and you really don't care about what she thinks about you? Whatever!
BTW, I've got a lot of girls playing dumb and along, so it works. I don't think I come off as needy and unattractive I think it comes off as perseverance.
(04-12-2011 12:28 PM)Mark Wrote: Yeah, it may be hard Prague, but it says something deeper about a guy... that he's willing to sacrifice his own self-respect to try and earn the respect of a woman. Any guy who does this is going to come off as needy and unattractive. So yes, it's difficult, but ultimately it's a self esteem and pride issue.
Leo: You're describing all of these tactics you've tried with girls who play games. What they all have in common is that they're all behaviors based on her, not yourself. That's why I simply say walk away. I don't like games. So I walk away. I don't care what she does or says after that. I walk away because I value my own preferences more than I value hers. Even if you're aggressive or demanding with her, you're still basing your behavior on her, which sub-communicates that you prioritize her over yourself. And no matter how dominant and aggressive you ACT, you're still sub-communicating that you're weak and submissive to her will.
When you just say, "I don't play games" and walk away, you sub-communicate that you don't and will never prioritize her above yourself. This is the way of an attractive man. Sometimes she'll come back. Other times she won't. Either way, I don't care at that point.